Aspies have a harder time recovering from bad experiences?

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Sophrosyne
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11 Apr 2007, 7:45 pm

It takes me forever to bounce back, and even then I may have not completely recovered.
Could this be an apie trait? Or maybe it's related to something else, as I have not been diagnosed.



Santa_Claus
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11 Apr 2007, 7:47 pm

I used to relate but because of my vast experiences I can get over things fast.



SteveK
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11 Apr 2007, 8:03 pm

My mother used to emotionally abuse me. I guess she STILL tries. One time, I almost resolved to cut her off FOREVER! If she had called back within a certain period, or failed to act civil, I would NEVER have talked with her again. Anyway, YEP, I took an inordinate amount of time to recover. NOW I am pulling all sorts of tricks to not let me get to that point.

Maybe it IS an ASPIE trait. 8-(

Steve



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11 Apr 2007, 8:03 pm

I know this is true about me, but whether it is an aspie thing or just a human thing I don't know. I take life pretty hard.


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Graelwyn
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11 Apr 2007, 8:06 pm

Certain things take a long time, other things do not for me. People obsessions/rejections are hardest for me, as are emotional abuse/sexual abuse. But I am told I am strong to have survived what I have.


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MomofTom
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11 Apr 2007, 8:08 pm

I can identify with this. In time things can be seen in a different light and the pain is not as sharp.


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Lightning88
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11 Apr 2007, 8:11 pm

I know it takes me forever. I don't think I'll ever recover from some things.



sunnycat
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11 Apr 2007, 8:14 pm

Recovery certainly is not an easy process...it takes a lot of time and effort for me...



Tim_Tex
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11 Apr 2007, 9:00 pm

It took me about three years to recover from my first girlfriend cheating on me, and that's the longest it took for me to recover from anything.

Tim


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Sophrosyne
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11 Apr 2007, 9:01 pm

I have always thought it takes me longer than normal, because people around me expect me to have completely recovered already. They're insensitive people, but I still wonder.



Tim_Tex
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11 Apr 2007, 9:04 pm

Sophrosyne wrote:
I have always thought it takes me longer than normal, because people around me expect me to have completely recovered already. They're insensitive people, but I still wonder.


People have expected me to recover instantly from very upsetting things, and that's unrealistic of them.

Tim


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Mitch8817
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11 Apr 2007, 9:18 pm

We dwell.


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Graelwyn
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11 Apr 2007, 9:19 pm

Tim_Tex wrote:
Sophrosyne wrote:
I have always thought it takes me longer than normal, because people around me expect me to have completely recovered already. They're insensitive people, but I still wonder.


People have expected me to recover instantly from very upsetting things, and that's unrealistic of them.

Tim


My father has spent most of my life telling me to just get on with my life, and that I use my past as an excuse to move forwards etc... he managed to make a success of himself, and he just cannot understand that I have done much work just to get to the point I am at now. My mother is the same...she had years of my problems, so she said, its in the past, it is gone, you cannot change it... and then you feel very pathetic for not being able to 'just get over it' and 'get on with your life'


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EarthCalling
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11 Apr 2007, 9:26 pm

I got fired from a job I hated 2 years ago. I still cry about it.

Nuff said?



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11 Apr 2007, 10:35 pm

Mitch8817 wrote:
We dwell.


Seconded.

Ruminating over and over on negative experiences is an Aspie trait, isn't it? A tendency to do that would not help with healing after a trauma.

Actually, I sometimes consciously start a really powerful stream of obsessive fantasy thought - writing TV shows or songs in my head, mostly - to 'drown out' some real-life badness which I'm stewing over. Otherwise it will go over and over in my head, getting blown out of all proportion...

I don't know that it's a particularly *healthy* coping stragegy, but it's working for me at the moment.