Aspies! Would you rather date another aspie or a NT?

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Would you rather date another aspie or a NT?
I'd rather date another aspie 33%  33%  [ 13 ]
I'd rather date a NT 8%  8%  [ 3 ]
I'm not sure/I don't care 59%  59%  [ 23 ]
Total votes : 39

AlexHofstadter
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26 Nov 2015, 3:26 pm

What the title says, basically.
I would rather date an aspie. I believe I would feel accompanied and complemented by her more than I would with a NT. I'm just generalizing though.


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Edenthiel
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26 Nov 2015, 3:36 pm

I find I connect better with other aspies. From what I've been told and observed, it's not the same as the way NT people connect, but hey; it fits. I married someone who, if not an aspie is certainly aspie-lite (ie has just about every trait, some as severe or more so than me). Before meeting them, I was only attracted to certain personality types that I now realize also are commonly aspies.


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wilburforce
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26 Nov 2015, 5:03 pm

Sometimes I think I would be better off dating people on the spectrum just because it would make understanding each other easier--but then again, most of the men I have dated were very NT (emotionally expressive, socially facile, outgoing, etc) and I think the reason I was drawn to them was because they complemented my social deficits and made socialising easier as a couple. Even before I knew I was on the spectrum I seemed to gravitate towards such guys. So overall I'm not really sure whether NT or AS guys would be better candidates for compatibility. It really depends on the individuals you meet and how their unique qualities either gel or do not with one's own unique qualities. It is different in every relationship.



ProfessorJohn
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26 Nov 2015, 5:19 pm

I am married to an NT, and it has worked out well. I have never really known many Aspies at all, much less a female one, although I had a student in one of my classes who would come by my office now and then and I think she might have Aspergers. Didn't get to know her real well, though. I wonder what a female version of myself might be like, and how we would get along.

I am just thrilled that anyone married me, NT or Aspie, and that it has worked out so well for 16 years. This is from someone who went from ages 22 to 28 without having a date, so it is never too late to give up hope.



Earthling
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26 Nov 2015, 5:47 pm

I gravitate more towards Aspie but voted "not sure". Reason: Individuals differ. :P
I'm pretty sure that the best NT match is better than the worst Aspie match.



slw1990
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26 Nov 2015, 8:58 pm

I think I would rather be with an aspie. I think that we would be more likely to have some of the same experiences and similar views. It seems like being able to relate to someone is really important for me when it comes to being attracted to them.



nick007
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26 Nov 2015, 11:39 pm

My 2nd & current girlfriend are on the spectrum. I never had much luck getting dates with NTs cuz they're not straightforward & direct enough for me.


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26 Nov 2015, 11:57 pm

I'd rather not know until either I figured it out or they explained.


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hmk66
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27 Nov 2015, 5:45 am

I don't care whether the woman is an Aspie or not. It is the personality that matters to me. Between NTs there are people that I like and people that I do not like. And between autistics there are people that I like and people that I do not like.



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27 Nov 2015, 10:13 pm

I've seen some really hot Aspies in my time.



Rivka333
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27 Nov 2015, 10:17 pm

hmk66 wrote:
I don't care whether the woman is an Aspie or not. It is the personality that matters to me. Between NTs there are people that I like and people that I do not like. And between autistics there are people that I like and people that I do not like.

Yes, this has been my experience as well. The same goes not only for dating, but for friendships, coworker interactions, etc.



dobyfm
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30 Nov 2015, 8:28 am

I rather date another Aspie because I would feel more comfortable with myself. Recently I have come to notice that I become more self conscious around NT males. When I am around an Aspie male I am myself and feel like no matter what I do I will not be judged. Of coarse there are NT males who treat me normal, but most of them certainly sense something "off".



alex
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30 Nov 2015, 9:13 am

It really depends on the person.


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izzeme
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30 Nov 2015, 9:24 am

I am unsure, both have their merits.

Pairing up with another aspie means that i will (most likely) be better understood.
However, pairing with an NT means i'll have a 'guide' which can help me navigate the NT world with all of its strange mannerisms.



Edenthiel
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30 Nov 2015, 3:44 pm

izzeme wrote:
I am unsure, both have their merits.

Pairing up with another aspie means that i will (most likely) be better understood.
However, pairing with an NT means i'll have a 'guide' which can help me navigate the NT world with all of its strange mannerisms.

Only if that NT is already knowledgeable in the specific differences, or is incredibly empathetic & can verbalize the differences. For instance, I've found that unless someone else also has an auditory processing disorder, they have no clue. They can have sympathy, but still never actually understand. In a weird twist, they have to learn rules to get by & requiring them to do so doesn't always work in a relationship (ironic, eh?). However, if you find a NT person who has an APD, you just might get the best of both worlds...and you may not find them until you are 65.


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Kiprobalhato
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30 Nov 2015, 4:31 pm

whoever i'm lucky enough to get. 8O

currently dating an amazing NT (AFAIK) girl.


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