I was jus bullied, called a retard, & told to go kill myself

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LivingInParentheses
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30 Nov 2015, 8:06 am

So yeah that just happened. It was yesterday on twitter. And now I can't get it out of my mind.

I guess nothing can be done about it. It just is how it is. But it makes me feel like crap.

I tried to get it out of my system by reporting the posts and stuff on Twitter but they didn't do anything about it.

I posted on facebook to my friends and family who don't know my diagnosis, telling them about how I merely pointed out to someone posting publically on my feed on twitter that they really don't need to call a bad date an "autistic fa***t", they could just say "douchewaffle" or something, and the person began blasting me with hate speech and insults and telling me to kill myself, even including a how-to image of tying a noose. They just were like "yeah that's not cool, people are trolls, oh well". I"m not sure what I expected but for some reason I was picturing all those viral stories on the internet where people give their support to the one being picked on, and people learn lessons and stuff. I didn't expect to be told "that happens" and then... that's it.

I keep thinking about how much it is affecting me at 42 years old when a stranger on the internet does it to me just for one day, what about kids who go through this at like 8, or 12, or 17 years old day in and day out at school and then are still tormented by it at home via texts and internet bullying?

This is just not okay. It's just not. I know I"m nobody and don't matter and so nobody will ever stand up for me and so I have to accept that but can we just not go around telling people to kill themselves and then givign them how-to instructions for doing so? Can we just not allow it to be okay to let people do this and go unpunished?

ugh. I guess I'm just blowing off steam. I feel terrible and can't shake it even though it's been a whole day now. Everything I do is colored by his words... "kill yourself, retard"...

so anyway I blogged about it but you basically have the story now but I'll link it anyway - I've included screen shots of the first two things he said to me. At least then I feel like I'm speaking out against it and not just sitting and saying "yeah that happens, oh well, whatcha gonna do?"... I just don't know what else I CAN do. :(

http://livinginparentheses.blogspot.com ... etard.html

thanks for listening. I'm sure I'm not the only one who has ever been told this, which should make me feel a little better but obviously just makes it that much worse. *Sigh*


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~ ( Living in Parentheses ) - female aspie, diagnosed at 42 ~
BAP: 132 aloof, 121 rigid, 84 pragmatic // Cambridge Face Memory Test: 62% // AQ: 39


BuyerBeware
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30 Nov 2015, 8:29 am

There's only so much you CAN do.

Snaps to you for doing it.

Assholes are assholes, and they especially seem to love the Internet. Don't even have to show their faces to spew feces.

The only other thing you can do is understand that this is about THEM being small-minded shitheads, not about you or anything about you.


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Earthling
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30 Nov 2015, 8:34 am

Yep, happened to me too. Wasn't nice. Whatever. :roll:
In my opinion, the most important thing when someone posts this is keep one's mind distant from it.

It seems to me that whenever someone points something out and sounds "wrong" (whatever that means. It could mean sound like troll to NT) the retaliation is intense.

I think that person was very emotional about the date (or was deliberately looking for an outlet of their anger and baiting someone; but let's go with the emotional possibility).
There is a model about perception that I sadly forgot the name to. How we see ourselves and how other people see us. The girlfriend may see her boyfriend as "better" than he really is. Or the guy who had problems with his date may see it as the Devil.
And then you come along and offer valid concern for his choice of words, but it comes off as insensitive because the date is the Devil, "how can you defend them in any way?".
Thing is, when we really zoom away from this situation and think about our values at large, we want to be civil with each other, so in that way you were right.
But that person wasn't able to see that. And that's "okay" (they should know better, but it's not a crime not to). Their reaction, of course, was inappropriate.
So yeah, I wonder if that could be why this happened.


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kraftiekortie
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30 Nov 2015, 8:43 am

It's just a bunch of crap told you by punks who are the worst cowards.

Please don't let the bullies gain the victory.

They don't know you....it's really just words which are the product of idiocy. Don't enable the idiocy by reacting to it. Live your life. Do something pleasurable.

Just ignore them....and move on.

You are the brave one. You don't have to resort to such crap.

Don't go down to their level.

Just live your life.



LivingInParentheses
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30 Nov 2015, 8:48 am

Thanks for the replies so far... I wish I could say I feel much better now but I just feel really bad at this point in time.

I'm not going to bother correcting anyone anymore when I see hate speech or ableist slang for awhile I don't think, because my own mental health has to come first and right now I have more going on already than I can possibly deal with - two of my three children are in drug rehab facilities now and one has just been dx'd with Hep C, and this twitter fool adding to my emotional burden is just not something I can afford to let happen again any time soon.

I just keep thinking about my 12 year old daughter and how things might be going for her at school and the way she often comes home and gets right into bed and buries herself in the internet or a book and doesn't want to talk about her day - it makes me worry about her even more. She's so much like me.

I don't know. I guess I was just expecting Twitter to at least address the bullying and discrimination and hate speech involved. Now I know they're just one more internet company that doesn't actually care about anything but their bottom line which surely equates somehow to money.

I'm used to not being a priority and to taking crap. I should be able to let this roll off my back.

But I can't because I pass in person and am a very symmetric, aesthetically pleasing looking female, so most of my experiences with harassment so far in my lifetime have been creepy men and bitchy women, and that's easier for me to deal with becuase it's just based on surface appearances which aren't who I am.

This person attacked me for being "retarded" / having Asperger's, and this is EXACTLY who I am, and what my whole existence filters through.

That hurts, I can't lie and say it doesn't or that I will just ignore it and shake it off. I won't internalize it but I'm not going to just pretend that everything is okay either because it's just not. (I know nobody here is implying it is.)


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BAP: 132 aloof, 121 rigid, 84 pragmatic // Cambridge Face Memory Test: 62% // AQ: 39


kraftiekortie
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30 Nov 2015, 8:52 am

It's a bunch of ignorant people who do this sort of thing.

You're smart enough to know that!

Please move on....eat some ice cream....flirt with your boyfriend.

It's no reflection on you...it's a reflection on THEM.



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30 Nov 2015, 8:57 am

I am sorry for what happened to you. What they said is not right at all. That person is simply an imbecile who can not accept to see another persons opinion so they resort to bullying. Remind yourself this: These people are actually deeply insecure and go on the internet to vent and appear "cool". When in reality, they are probably people with issues. They are not right at all in the head probably.



LivingInParentheses
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30 Nov 2015, 9:04 am

I just want to listen to my music and drive but my vehicle is in the shop. I am borrowing my in laws' vehicle but my favorite CD is in my cd player in the shop right now and has been for a week.

I do have a cat on my lap which always feels nice.

I just want to leave and drive. Hopefully soon.


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BAP: 132 aloof, 121 rigid, 84 pragmatic // Cambridge Face Memory Test: 62% // AQ: 39


kraftiekortie
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30 Nov 2015, 9:05 am

Just get another one of your favorite CD's.

That's the attitude!

Don't form great hypotheses based on these idiots.

(unless you're in the mood to form great hypotheses....and that gives you pleasure).

Keep life simple and free.



LivingInParentheses
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30 Nov 2015, 9:11 am

kraftiekortie, your posts always make me wish I was more like you, or at least lived near you and could be your real life friend. I admire your attitude. Thank you for being so generous with it.


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kraftiekortie
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30 Nov 2015, 9:29 am

You're welcome...and thanks for the compliment.

The best thing to do to ward off the idiots is to not acknowledge their existence. They are attracted to those who give them any sort of attention.



LivingInParentheses
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30 Nov 2015, 9:35 am

I find it difficult to ignore a bullying situation, I always feel bad for the victim.

I always think it could be me who is the victim and someone else could be trying to ignore it instead of standing up for me.


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kraftiekortie
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30 Nov 2015, 9:40 am

I've been bullied.....and I've had people stand up for me. So I get the feeling.

When people who stand up for you are not available, I find ignoring them to be the best way to get rid of them.

Yeah....I got an answer for everything! LOL I'm an Aspie--remember? :wink:



kraftiekortie
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30 Nov 2015, 9:56 am

Don't worry LOL...

I'm not that much of a smart-butt in real life :D



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30 Nov 2015, 12:50 pm

Those people are garbage they are probably projecting what they think of them-self...I don't expect that to make you not feel hurt by those comments, but really that person is the one with the problem not you. Best thing to do is not feed the fire anymore...for instance 'ignore' the comments like that as in don't respond and ban/block that poster from your page if you have the option as well as reporting them. But yeah its best not to dignify stuff like that with a counter-post especially since then they'll probably just keep saying worse and worse things.


Sorry you had to experience that though, I had a period of getting rather bullied myself back on myspace when they had forums....and that is how I learned its not worth the energy to engage internet bullies.