How can I improve group conversation skills?

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What suggestions do you have on ways I can improve group conversations skills. I have little issue with 1 on 1 conversations but when the group becomes 2 or more I cant really talk. I never know when to speak and feel like im outside when the other people are bouncing the conversation back and fourth. I also dont want to seem rude randomly interrupting the conversation flow and cant seem to construct what i want to say quick enough before the concersation shifts to the point that it would be out of place. When i do fit a phrase in usually once every meeting my anxiety shoots through the roof and I start bouncing/shaking my leg and heart races. Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks

I have struggled with group conversation for most of my life. However, at 30, after a few years of being forced into them daily, I think I am starting to get the hang of it. I am by no means great at group conversations, but I feel that now I can at least participate. I still find them mentally exhausting.

One thing I have found that helps is to stick to very safe, neutral, positive topics. I try to avoid anything that could sound like I am judging or criticizing someone or like I am complaining about something. I have had to redefine these categories, because things I never thought could be offensive -- I found out they, in fact, can leave some people feeling offended, judged, or left out. So, I try to stick to things that are pleasant, interesting, useful, and constructive.

Another thing is to avoid in-depth comments or hard-to-explain topics. I think the main reason here is that, in a group setting, if something takes to long to explain, people start to tune out. There seems to be some kind of unspoken rhythm to group conversations, and you don't want to upset the rhythm. This is particularly hard for me, because I like to dwell on a topic and look at it from many angles. However, when I make comments of this sort in a group setting, I see people tuning out, or someone will interrupt me and change the subject.

Another issue that I have is being overly personal or oversharing. This is another thing I have learned to avoid from experience with the types of response that it brings out. It seems to me that in the group conversation the participants are functioning as a group, where the personalities are all hanging together in a balance. If someone starts to bring to much of theirself into the conversation, the balance is upset. People lose focus and interest. As far as oversharing goes, I have learned to put an internal filter in my mind that checks my messages before they leave my mouth. I ask, "does anyone really want to know this?" "Is this overly personal?"

I am starting to have some better experiences in group conversations, thinking about these and a few other things. For me, after having some good experiences speaking during a group conversation, where I felt like I actually added something to the conversation, I feel less hesitant and less nervous about speaking up.