Dating & Relationships

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Just wondering out there. Have ny of u guys have had difficulties in this aspect of ur life?? It's always been a gruesome journey 4 me. Heartbreak after heartbreak, rejection & more rejection, can't never get it going!! ! Though, I do have 2 admit that most of MA experiences involve NT chicks and some frankly devastatingly good-looking. Though, lots of these chicks would open up 2 me & once some rapport was build, some good friendly interactions would ensue. Sadly thatbis where it all ends.If lucky, I may get their #s, but dats da last part. My interactions r always limited 2 a common ground(I.e. school, work, their workplace if a customer, etc,etc) and when @ work (mutual) or theirs always exposed to rejection. Particularly as many work on the front of da line & would cutt me off by saying things such as I can't talk now, I gotta go serve a customer, arrghhh how irking!!?! !!?! But again, how the f am I expected 2 interact wit them if when I try 2 contact them, they would plain out reject me 2. Messages may go unresponded, if I call them, they say things such as I can't talk now and bye, pretty much hung up wit me or if they reply, they always come up wit something when trying to go out wit them , even if they seemed 2 have express interest by saying things such as sure... Just let me know when. Wtf??? Don't get these effing chicks. Also, it seems that if they r romantically interested in me & I am not or vice versa, they don't see the point of going out wit me. Just happened as I tried to reconnect wit pretty much the only gf I had, wo at first seemed very content 2 hear back from me again. Arghh, things just get difficult & more difficult. Feel like there is no ending. Other of my pet peeves, don't bout u guys (MA fellow Aspies) is when u like a chick & she seems to b friendly -& perhaps even interested and they come up wit I have a bf(boyfriend). Arrg just feel like a complete idiot interacting wit them. O will like 2 hear some of your experiences guys & compare them wit mine. Maybe dis will give me some comfort/solace. Also, do u think it's possible for an HFA individual 2 go out with an NT girl, even if she is devastatingly good-looking or pretty by simple standards??? Or would u recommend 2 look for fellow ladies in da spectrum? What's ur take???. Will love 2 get some answers!

My 2nd & current girlfriend are both on the spectrum & I met them both on this forum. I think I do better with spectrum girls cuz I'm too direct, straightforward & upfront for NT girls. I have things besides Aspergers thou that really limit me with dating in general. All 3 of my girlfriends had their own issues which I accepted & sympathized with.

Let's see, 2 failed marriages (on my third and it's been tested a lot) and three failed major relationships. So, yeah.....I'd say so.

The only reason this marriage has lasted is due to my wife's patience. Maybe also a cultural issue that influences her way of approaching things.

The longest relationship I ever had was 3-months in high school, and it ended badly because I was going away for the summer and just kind of didn't let her know until the last minute, didn't want to make any effort to continue the relationship over long distance...I wasn't trying to be a dick, I just never even thought about it until she started crying and calling me an as*hole.

It's just doesn't seem like something I was built for.

Be patient and calm down. And read up on women's needs - be sensitive to them. If you just want to play the field, F* all, otherwise wise up. But bottom line is: you need someone who understands you and your needs; if they don't, then they wont. Slowly inject your quirks into the interactions - if the person in question doesn't understand or accept them, forget them; they're not worth it.

Whatever the case, don't waiver or blame yourself or give up. You're special and aren't good for just any old person. You're valuable and shouldn't settle for less than someone who believes in that.

Lastly, DON'T speak in text-speak! The written word is becoming a lost art. Some of the best things in life are worth the time/wait. Don't detract from human intelligence. It's not cool.

My only concern about this expectation is this: If you can't understand your own needs, can you expect another person to do so?

Example: I always thought I was normal and other people reactionary or just a$$#0les. Turns out it may be me and that puts an undue strain on the expectation mobile. If they anticipate something by way of the NTs ability to read faces and emotional states, but is not what we need because we project something different, and cannot properly communicate it, then it's not good for anybody. Did ANY of that make sense?

Now, if someone is fully aware of their needs and limitations then, game on!!

I dated hot NT girls and it never worked out. All kinds of autistic girls will at least be able to hold a conversation and not be degrading if they decide to ignore you, where typical girls will just judge you externally and quickly. Also the more you date the more experience you get which is needed to keep any girl that knows her options.