people fixations

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I don't think this is necessarily "worse" but I have unintentionally never asked anyone on a date or to a dance (unless they were already there). I also never noticed anyone being interested in me until 3 weeks ago, when I was talking to the RA of our sister floor (I'm in an all guy dorm in college) and basically started a conversation about how I didn't have a date to the dance (since she was selling tickets to the dance). Then she told me she'd find me a date for the dance (only one other person has done this [IIRC]: he was a guy and nothing came of it) and expected the same thing to happen (since basically nobody knows what I'm interested in because literally my only friend was video games*). To my surprise, the day before the dance (a couple days after she said she'd find me a date) she said she'd go with me (and after I agreed, I said the first thing that came to my mind as we parted... "thanks for offering yourself up" or something similar...**). Nothing came of the dance (I wasn't interested in her… I'm in the stage where looks matter, and even though she wasn’t fat, I didn't think her face was pretty…[the sad part is I don't think I'm very picky about looks…]) and she didn't say anything about wanting to do anything together afterwards (maybe something to do with me not knowing how to dance)… so basically I have never attempted to start a relationship.
I guess I just wanted to say at least you were brave enough to ask someone out. I haven't done anything like that.

* There were 2 'groups' of friends, the first group consisted of one person who I stopped talking to because he called me a name and I wasn't used to that... now I figure he was just being friendly in the way NT guys seem to be; the other group was 3 people who stopped hanging out with me when I said something stupid about a game to one of them (or something similarly inconsequential). Both lasted about a year, the first one ended before elementary school, and the second one ended before high school.
I never really interacted with anyone else outside of school, which by my definition (almost exclusively influenced by my popular NT brother) says nobody else was a "friend," just acquaintances.

** I just thought it was funny, and when I was growing up, I didn't censor / talk to my video games, so I tend to blurt stuff out like that... (a really stupid one was saying "a blonde joke wouldn't be appropriate now" when someone said something about a girl dieing... Is that more inappropriate because I was cracking a joke during a conversation about death, or just because saying something shouldn't be said is basically saying it?).

I realize now reading these posts that my "obsession" was over a person, ok two people, rather than a thing. It took me like 8 years (no kidding) to stop being obsessed with them.

I've been obsessed with this one girl for awhile. The strange thing is I've never met her but I recently discovered she lives in my building..one floor above me. It freaks me out.

I'm getting that way. Trying very hard not to
fall for her yet. She is so pretty that it hurts
me to even look at her.

boy do I know that feeling

I've had a history of getting fixations on people as well. Basically, I am still trying to figure out who I am identity-wise, and I would actually mold my identity to someone else's identity. Yes, I know it's weird.

That has been happening to me a lot. The biggest problem is that I can't distinguish fixation from love. I also think those people fixations are one of the reasons for my depression - they have really big impact on my mood.

There is a person on whom I had a huge crush 2½ years ago, and I still hope we could meet sometimes, be friends. I know my obsession is still on the backgroung, so maybe it's good we don't see each other.

I can very much relate to the content of this post. It can be difficult to differentiate, especially as one can in both cases be talking about quite complicated combinations of emotions. One of the people whom I have been fixated on in the past (longer than two and a half years in my case; more like seven) I would have been happy if we could have parted friends. At least more recently continued friendship has proved possible for me, though both of those occasions coincide with the existence of my infatuation being unknown (to the best of my knowledge) by the two who were at different points in time the focus of this fixation, so maybe not the closest of friendships anyway. I am seriously confused as to what, precisely, constitutes 'true love'; evidently it includes friendship, itself a complex phenomenon, and it seems to be associated with some 'romantic' element that is very vaguely delineated, but is not completely separated from various other things defined as 'love'. Could someone clarify these concepts and define these terms?

Blah. I've lately started obsessing with this one person. At first, I was just intellectually attracted to him, but suddenly, it turned into fixation. I don't know what should I do; I'm way too confused right now. Those people fixations have had quite bad effects to my mental health...

Another thing I think of when I hear about this and even think about my own past experiences - I think a lot of it has to do with a person's orientation to life in general. I'm talking to someone right now where we're so alike its almost scary - they way I look at it though is we've really got to be careful to just take things at a more tempered pace, be more self-restrained, and not let ourselves get too exuberant. I don't know what it is but it just seems inherently destructive to any kind of relationship, friends or otherwise, when people don't mind the pace or the amount of energy they put into interactions in general. On the other hand though its a bit like a double edged sword though, play it too nonchalant and that other person may take it that you're doing little more than just put up with them.