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Punk
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02 Jan 2016, 7:06 pm

Finally have a boyfriend. Would like to have a girlfriend at some point too though.


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Peacesells
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02 Jan 2016, 8:09 pm

Poor guy, if you start the relatioship with such a premise.



kraftiekortie
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02 Jan 2016, 8:31 pm

OP is a woman.



Peacesells
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02 Jan 2016, 8:37 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
OP is a woman.

Yes, I was talking about her boyfriend.



Punk
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02 Jan 2016, 8:39 pm

Well, I like him but I'm not expecting to marry him or anyone. I just plan on having maybe year or two relationships here and there.


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Peacesells
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02 Jan 2016, 9:13 pm

I would just like to point out that there's a difference between talking about marrying a new boyfriend and entering a relationship with a decent amout of seriousness. You barely started a relationship and you are already thinking about who's next, I wonder how your boyfriend would feel were he to read your words. If you just want to have fun it's fine but I hope that you won't hurt anyone's feelings.
Looking at the bright side of all this, I now feel happier about being single.



slw1990
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02 Jan 2016, 10:17 pm

I think you should tell him you don't want anything serious if you haven't already. It can really hurt to feel misled by someone.



Edenthiel
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03 Jan 2016, 1:45 am

Punk wrote:
Finally have a boyfriend. Would like to have a girlfriend at some point too though.

Congratulations, if you want them concurrently I hope that they are compatible!

Wait; is he a BF because he's your regular & you really like him, or because the two of you have decided you exclusively want to see only each other? The latter might be a bit of a problem, no?


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mistersprinkles
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03 Jan 2016, 10:30 pm

This is concerning...

Unless you have told the other person in the relationship that you are looking for a relationship of limited length and limited commitment, what you are thinking here is just wrong.

When people get into a serious relationship, and most would agree that a 1 year relationship has reached the "serious" level in 99% of cases, most people have a certain expectation, or perhaps better said, a certain understanding, that the person they are with could, if all goes well, end up being the person they spend "forever" with... or however you quantify forever these days... divorce rates are so high...

If you don't tell this guy your intentions now, and you wait until you get sick of him and want to take him back to the BF store for an exchange, expect him to be incredibly upset with you. Understandably so.



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04 Jan 2016, 7:18 pm

Agree with mistersprinkles.

This just reinforces my negative experiences with bisexual females.

The one I was attracted to was questioning herself and wasn't sure if she was still attracted to males anymore. She said she would have went out with me if she was attracted to males. I ended up being 'just friends' holding onto the hope she'd come around and like guys again. She did, except by the time that happened she had already decided she only saw me as a friend. She also wasn't interested in dating ANYONE she decided and wanted to focus on her studies. A WEEK LATER, she changes her mind and falls for a male she also saw as only a friend. Not just this, but she didn't stop herself from dating him. I think if she had meant what she said, she wouldn't have dated him at all, even if he decided to give her a chance. Less than three months of dating and he decides to propose to her, they are still together today after 7 months, they were very showboaty and exhibitionist about the relationship in front of me and their other friends in front of my very eyes.

Hope he's happy with her even though she might change her mind just like 'THAT' and dump him because one day she randomly only wants a girlfriend again.

Now reading negative garbage like this is sad. Funny enough, the first bisexual female in my story was also an aspie (undiagnosed).

Why can't bisexuals actually accept the person they end up being with, I don't understand.

Honestly, if you're truly attracted to both sexes, wouldn't you be satisfied with ending up with either? Even if it's for the rest of your life? I mean, you are attracted to both, right? So why do some seem to like to switch back and forth between the two.

I just think love is supposed to be a natural thing. You;d think bisexuals would be a bit more liberal - insted of saying "I'm only going to be seeking men right now" or "I'm only going to be seeking women", "I like both sexes, so why would I only want to seek one at a time. Unless I didn't like both."

This turned into a mini-rant. I'm sorry...but my point still stands.

Besides, I use to feel bisexual myself so I know how it 'feels' - at no point did I ever decide I'd only ever be okay with being with a specific gender. If I liked both men and women, I would have been happy with either a male or female. It's that simple.



Peacesells
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04 Jan 2016, 9:06 pm

Outrider wrote:
The one I was attracted to was questioning herself and wasn't sure if she was still attracted to males anymore. She said she would have went out with me if she was attracted to males. I ended up being 'just friends' holding onto the hope she'd come around and like guys again. She did, except by the time that happened she had already decided she only saw me as a friend. She also wasn't interested in dating ANYONE she decided and wanted to focus on her studies. A WEEK LATER, she changes her mind and falls for a male she also saw as only a friend. Not just this, but she didn't stop herself from dating him. I think if she had meant what she said, she wouldn't have dated him at all, even if he decided to give her a chance. Less than three months of dating and he decides to propose to her, they are still together today after 7 months, they were very showboaty and exhibitionist about the relationship in front of me and their other friends in front of my very eyes.

What do you understand from this? She obviously didn't reject you because she was questioning herself but she only used a standard excuse, if she were not bisexual she would have used another excuse like that. I'd also be doubtful about one's bisexuality if they never had a mate of the same sex, because a lot of people nowadays seem to pretend that to look cool, somehow (don't ask me why because I don't know). Don't get me wrong, it can still be true but you never know.
Anyway I think here the problem is not bisexuality but rather a lack of care towards you and your feelings. Both love and friendship are ultimately about caring for someone else I think, something she apparently never felt for you or she wouldn't have been showing off right before you eyes. Move on.



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05 Jan 2016, 2:38 am

I understand enough to find it ridiculous and I'd been lied or cheated or at least she didn't mean what she had said.

Haha, lol every negative experience I say regarding love and dating I've been told by the adults here they 'don't care', 'they're making weak excuses', 'sounds like a cop-out', 'girls your age are fickle', etc.



Peacesells
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05 Jan 2016, 8:30 am

Outrider wrote:
Haha, lol every negative experience I say regarding love and dating I've been told by the adults here 'girls your age are fickle'.

Too bad it's not just girls, and not only your age.



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05 Jan 2016, 8:36 am

Hm? What do you mean? All people of all ages can quickly change their mind about you, are avoidant/passive-aggressive, etc?

Because I generally agree.

I come across as naively idealistic to others at first but I'm not - for the most part I'm aware most people take the easy way out of situations and have no concern for how they might treat another person and make them feel...

People are a55h•les at all ages.

That's the unfortunate thing - people never truly mature. It would be great to believe that dating as a teenager is just terrible and stupid and pointless and everybody mistreats one another but then again, doesn't the adult world seem this way as well in love and dating.

Does it even get any easier after high school?



Peacesells
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05 Jan 2016, 9:33 am

Outrider wrote:
Hm? What do you mean? All people of all ages can quickly change their mind about you, are avoidant/passive-aggressive, etc?

Because I generally agree.

Maybe I am too pessimistic but I kind of think so. This would explain the divorce rates though. Maybe the younger they are the more likely they are go behave like that, but I think it still happens to adult people.
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I come across as naively idealistic to others at first but I'm not - for the most part I'm aware most people take the easy way out of situations and have no concern for how they might treat another person and make them feel...

People are a55h•les at all ages.

Yes.
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Does it even get any easier after high school?

Apart from observing other people I can't really tell, since I never knew how to get close to people. Had some girls online who said they cared for me but they really didn't, if it counts.



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05 Jan 2016, 2:10 pm

Somewhere in your early-to-mid twenties, it becomes cool to put down people younger than you simply for being younger, and it stays cool for the rest of your life.


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