meeting people --> exchange contact info --> hang out again

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ratonlaveur
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03 Jan 2016, 4:52 pm

So I've been to plenty of social gatherings, like when I was at school or on Meetup.com or volunteering and sometimes I strike a conversation with someone and we click and I can picture myself hanging out with this person in the future, but while I see other people easily going from conversation to exchanging contact info, to presumably getting together to go out and do stuff at later times, I'm not sure how to get to that step. If there's a common hobby, like tennis, I think I can say something like "do want to exchange contact info if you ever want to play tennis?" Are there other ways? I'm assuming asking for email or Facebook might be preferable and less direct than a phone number?



Outrider
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04 Jan 2016, 6:59 pm

Yeah, sir, you seem to already know what you're doing. :thumleft:

If you have to leave first, you can just say something along the lines of 'Oh, I have to go, but, uh hey, you seem like a pretty cool guy/person to talk to, do you have a facebook or anything? I'll add you.'

In this modern times it's not so much an awkward question anymore.

Though it's a little awkward to answer/say no, so expect the people to say no to say it a little oddly.

So if you get an odd response like 'Oh I have a facebook but uh I don't use it so yeah' and make no effort to give you another email or phone number, they're probably not interested.

It also depends if your interest is in making friends or getting a possible date, or both.

For possible dates, a phone number is perfectly fine and appropriate to ask for.

Facebook might be a bit better if you already know them a little bit - it's different adding a random woman you just met today vs. that cute woman you've already been chatting to for a bit at the store.

Asking beforehand is a choice but not necessary - the friend request itself is a test of interest. No need to ask as if they're interested, they'd say yes. If not, continue talking to them and just pretend it never happened - there's also all kinds of reasons they may have said no. Some people have strict criteria for who their facebook friends will be, and they might still like you as a person but simply not know you well enough yet to accept it.



kraftiekortie
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04 Jan 2016, 7:19 pm

Always say that you enjoyed hanging out. And be sincere about it. And smoothly segue into asking for Facebook info, or an email address.....never a phone number these days.

It takes practice....but if you do it enough, it'll become old hat to you.



Grammar Geek
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04 Jan 2016, 8:00 pm

Why not a phone number? People send text messages. A lot.



kraftiekortie
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04 Jan 2016, 8:07 pm

I've had a history of people crank-calling me. I think phone numbers are too personal for the starts of relationships.

You could "talk" through email, or Aol Instant Messenger, or SMS, or something of that nature until you trust the person enough to get the phone number.



cjay106
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04 Jan 2016, 8:49 pm

Another idea. Some of my friends use decorative business style cards that they have printed with their contact details: phone, email and social media. That way, it’s easy to say something like: “I’ve really enjoyed meeting you. Here are my contact details if you’d like to be in touch, maybe get together sometime.” I think it’s a neat approach that can avoid potential embarrassment. You are making a positive gesture, giving out information about yourself but not putting the person under pressure to reciprocate. It’s then up to them plus you have offered them a variety of ways to reach you.
It may seem a bit old-fashioned to younger people but maybe worth considering?

You can get offers on these cards - a couple of hundred cards for a small charge - about £5 in the UK.



the_phoenix
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04 Jan 2016, 8:55 pm

As an artist, I have actual business cards.
One business card helped get me into an art gallery.
Another business card helped me sell a fine art photo.
Am not sure if any of my business cards have helped me make a friend.

Oh well, two out of three ain't bad. :)

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