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slw1990
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05 Jan 2016, 5:17 pm

It seems like a lot of people, especially guys, act very uncomfortable and serious around me. They avoid looking at me, give me strange looks and act indifferent towards me while acting very friendly towards other people. A lot of people seem to target me and feel sorry for me too and I'm not going to be able to relate to someone if they feel sorry for me. I know some people are jerks and I try to avoid them, but it seems like a lot of people that really are nice treat me differently too like they are creeped out by me or something. The few guys that seem interested in me seem like they might just want to use me and lose interest once another girl is around. I think part of what might creep people out is that I'm so soft spoken, but I don't always realize how quiet I really am. I usually have pretty good posture though and I smile if someone else is smiles back, but a lot of people still feel sorry for me. Any advice would be appreciated.



Last edited by slw1990 on 05 Jan 2016, 5:28 pm, edited 2 times in total.

kraftiekortie
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05 Jan 2016, 5:20 pm

I don't feel sorry for you. I would talk to you should you want to talk to me. You're not bad-looking.



sly279
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05 Jan 2016, 5:40 pm

Hugs



nurseangela
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05 Jan 2016, 5:44 pm

What is it about yourself that makes you think people are feeling sorry for you?


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Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 83 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 153 of 200 You are very likely neurotypical
Darn, I flunked.


Last edited by nurseangela on 05 Jan 2016, 5:46 pm, edited 1 time in total.

nurseangela
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05 Jan 2016, 5:46 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
I don't feel sorry for you. I would talk to you should you want to talk to me. You're not bad-looking.


Is there a picture somewhere, Mr. K?


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Me grumpy?
I'm happiness challenged.

Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 83 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 153 of 200 You are very likely neurotypical
Darn, I flunked.


kraftiekortie
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05 Jan 2016, 5:58 pm

She has pictures in various places throughout WP.



Deltaville
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05 Jan 2016, 5:59 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
I don't feel sorry for you. I would talk to you should you want to talk to me. You're not bad-looking.


You do realize that confidence is an aspect that overwhelmingly many people struggle with in order to establish a relationship, irregardless of physical appearance?


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Earthling
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05 Jan 2016, 6:00 pm

It's not the looks she's talking about...
It's that many people are not willing to commit to [different people] as friends, lovers or acquaintances because they view them as [something different], and in her case, they seem to pity her for it and a few other things as well.
She knows because she is getting "special treatment".



kraftiekortie
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05 Jan 2016, 6:08 pm

I realize what you're saying.

I've been different all my life. I had to learn not to care about how people view my difference. I had to convey to normal people that I am a viable person, no matter how "weird" I am. When I began to do this, I became more successful. I'm no genius....I'm no dunce...I'm just some schmuck, like we all are.

Yeah....very simple....but it works!



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05 Jan 2016, 6:08 pm

I took some tests which exam how different you are from others and the results always say that I'm out of typical people zone. I've never been attracted to so called normal people. I believe if I were a man I would be attracted to OP. IDK in my eyes she's beautiful inside and outside and some men who are similar to me would catch what I saw in her some day.


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slw1990
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05 Jan 2016, 6:28 pm

nurseangela wrote:
What is it about yourself that makes you think people are feeling sorry for you?


Sometimes I don't always know how to express myself so I don't always know what to say to people right at the moment. I think it's the way I talk too because sometimes I might apologize or something and then people would feel like they need to reassure me, but they wouldn't do that to other people that did the same things.



slw1990
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05 Jan 2016, 7:09 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
I've been different all my life. I had to learn not to care about how people view my difference. I had to convey to normal people that I am a viable person, no matter how "weird" I am. When I began to do this, I became more successful. I'm no genius....I'm no dunce...I'm just some schmuck, like we all are.

Yeah....very simple....but it works!


The people who are disrepsectful towards me don't really mean much to me and I usually ignore them. Some days are better than others though. Maybe I should try harder.

I also sometimes think if I was with someone and they saw the way other people treated me they would begin to feel sorry for me and no longer see me as an equal.



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05 Jan 2016, 7:17 pm

I know exactly how you're feeling as it's something that I have had to deal with too. I have been extremely soft spoken in the past and only started to move away from it due to annoyance at some of the incredible stupidity that I have to deal with in the workplace. I've also had to deal with people looking at and treating me differently, as if I couldn't handle many things. I've learned to focus and try my best in those situations and to not care so much about what other people think. What truly matters is how you see yourself.


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slw1990
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05 Jan 2016, 9:11 pm

Nist498 wrote:
I know exactly how you're feeling as it's something that I have had to deal with too. I have been extremely soft spoken in the past and only started to move away from it due to annoyance at some of the incredible stupidity that I have to deal with in the workplace. I've also had to deal with people looking at and treating me differently, as if I couldn't handle many things. I've learned to focus and try my best in those situations and to not care so much about what other people think. What truly matters is how you see yourself.


I'm not always aware of how soft spoken I am though because when I think that I'm speaking at a normal volume I'm told that I'm quiet. I don't know if it's really what they think of me as much as the way they treat me.



AuroraBorealisGazer
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05 Jan 2016, 9:40 pm

Through my own experiences of people acting similarly around me, I think they do this because a) they are concentrating hard to hear me, and b) they are being sensitive to the shy/timidness they perceive. However if I change my posture to something more confident but my voice remains the same, then I think they see me as cold and unfriendly. :?

Are you hanging around other introverted oddballs? Or just typical "normal" people? You could try finding someone who is also quiet and try conversing with them...they might appreciate your non-startling volume and act differently.

Take what I saw with a grain of salt. What the heck do I know, I have terrible luck with striking up friendships! :P



slw1990
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05 Jan 2016, 11:40 pm

AuroraBorealisGazer wrote:
Through my own experiences of people acting similarly around me, I think they do this because a) they are concentrating hard to hear me, and b) they are being sensitive to the shy/timidness they perceive. However if I change my posture to something more confident but my voice remains the same, then I think they see me as cold and unfriendly. :?

Are you hanging around other introverted oddballs? Or just typical "normal" people? You could try finding someone who is also quiet and try conversing with them...they might appreciate your non-startling volume and act differently.

Take what I saw with a grain of salt. What the heck do I know, I have terrible luck with striking up friendships! :P


Some people seem to think I'm being unfriendly too when I stand up straight. Either that or they still feel sorry for me like maybe they think I'm unaware that I'm different or something. :|

I hang out with both. I have a roommate that I hang out with occasionally and she's very extroverted and outgoing, but most of the time it seems like she treats me like an equal. Sometimes when she has someone over though she seems sensitive about that, but she's still friendly and doesn't act very serious about it or anything so it doesn't bother me much. There's an introverted girl I hang out with sometimes too and she seems pretty comfortable around me.

I might try approaching other introverts, but I usually don't go places to meet different people and see the same ones regularly.