I don't know. I have a low self esteem.
I hate to use the "S" word, but I think Self-Esteem is a Spectrum.
My therapist told me something pretty cool. I actually asked him about it about a week ago. I said my wife tells me I need to stop getting down on myself. I asked him (my therapist) what should my goal be? If my self esteem is a 2 on a scale of 1-10, should I try to be a 5 or a 10. He told me one person's 5 is another person's 10.
The way I interpreted that is we all have basic stuff that make up who we are. I might not be the me I want to be if I press and try to hard to be as sure of myself as someone else. But within that range of self esteem that is reasonable and healthy for me I can be at the top of that range and I should try to get to the point that is best for me.
At one point I was trying to prove to myself that I could be a "normal" person. Oddly enough this was over 25 years ago when I was in college, long before I ever heard of Aspergers. I had card parties, went out to diner with friends, and in general pressed myself socially. I was probably more popular, probably more self confident in that I was stretching myself and doing things I was not comfortable with, but I think I stretched a little beyond the healthy boundaries of the center of my personality.
Now My self confidence is pretty low because circumstance with my job and my family have forced me to stretch in new ways. I am trying to adapt so that I can meet that challenges that are important, like helping my wife raise our kids and earning a living, but not stretch me in ways that are unhealthy for me, like trying to be a manager and make more money when emotionally I am better suited for accounting work.
Sorry to ramble - welcome to WP.
11 Jan 2016, 4:34 pm
