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ShesGone
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04 Jul 2016, 6:57 am

Peacesells wrote:

But it really sucks that if the girl doesn't like us back she might think that we are violent or rapists. I wouldn't want anyone to think that of me.

No.

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314pe
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04 Jul 2016, 7:24 am

HighLlama wrote:

314pe wrote:

wilburforce wrote:

Being friends with someone does not equate to leading them on--sometimes you just like someone's company but don't feel romantically attracted to them, but that lack of attraction doesn't make you appreciate their company any less. I am not obligated to stop talking to a guy if I suspect it's possible he might be attracted to me if I like him as a friend and want to continue being friends with him, and it's not "leading him on" for me to do so.

Depends on what is and what isn't 'leading him on'. Some may consider a movie and a romantic dinner a "leading him on" thing and some may not.

Why would you have a romantic dinner if you have no romantic interest?

I'm not sure because I personally wouldn't. But for some people it's normal to go out for a dinner at a restaurant or even kiss or even have sex with a friend. I would feel like I was being lead on in a situation like this, but I know people who think it's ok.

Peacesells
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04 Jul 2016, 7:25 am

ShesGone wrote:

Peacesells wrote:

But it really sucks that if the girl doesn't like us back she might think that we are violent or rapists. I wouldn't want anyone to think that of me.

No.

What do you mean? I was not asking a question.

ShesGone
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04 Jul 2016, 7:26 am

^ Sorry. :mrgreen:

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Alliekit
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04 Jul 2016, 7:34 am

Peacesells wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

I am not replying anyone. - this was a general statement.

You sounded like you were addressing someone.

Alliekit wrote:

Also I hate to say it but us women are weaker than men. We do get afraid of someone gets angry and cusses at us even if it's over text. If someone threatens to rape you (which happened to my friend over text when she told a guy she wasn't interested) you have a right to feel afraid. Ever since that my friend has been frightened to say no to anyone.

But it really sucks that if the girl doesn't like us back she might think that we are violent or rapists. I wouldn't want anyone to think that of me.

Quote:

You know girls get put in the friendzone too. I liked a guy for a year and a half woth him knowing and never telling me he wasn't interested.

Did you tell him openly? Was he taking advantage of your feelings?

It's not that she thinks of all men like that guy it's just made her put a guard up. Even if he didn't plan to do it the threat was still very scary and the police had to be called.

I did tell him openly and I was stupid enough to come running whenever he needed help with work or was bored

Peacesells
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04 Jul 2016, 7:50 am

Alliekit wrote:

It's not that she thinks of all men like that guy it's just made her put a guard up. Even if he didn't plan to do it the threat was still very scary and the police had to be called.

But putting her guard up and being afraid to tell them means that she thinks maybe they'd react like that. I don't have a solution here and I am sorry for your friend, but I think that perhaps I wouldn't want to be friends with someone who could think that of me anyway.

Quote:

I did tell him openly and I was stupid enough to come running whenever he needed help with work or was bored

And what did he say? It happened to me once that girl told me openly, then if I remember well (it was like 6-7 years ago, so I might be wrong) it just felt netural to say "because I don't love you", when she asked me why.

One time I made excuses was when a guy like 5-6 years older I think (I was 18 or 19) on the train kept talking to me for like half an hour and when he had to get off he asked for my number. I didn't know him at all anyway and I am not gay, maybe he thought so because I used to have very long hair.

Alliekit
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04 Jul 2016, 8:10 am

Peacesells wrote:

Alliekit wrote:

It's not that she thinks of all men like that guy it's just made her put a guard up. Even if he didn't plan to do it the threat was still very scary and the police had to be called.

Quote:

I did tell him openly and I was stupid enough to come running whenever he needed help with work or was bored

She is still friends with guys she is just more wary and is more careful when rejecting guys. I think it was confusing because the guy showed absolutely no signs of agression before that. He also knew she had a boyfriend

When I told him I liked him he kissed me so yea I was lead on

Peacesells
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04 Jul 2016, 8:37 am

Alliekit wrote:

I am not saying that she isn't friends with them, I just say that I would feel really uncomfortable with my friend thinking that of me.

Quote:

When I told him I liked him he kissed me so yea I was lead on

So he kissed you but then didn't want to be your bf? That's pretty f'd up of him.

The_Face_of_Boo
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04 Jul 2016, 8:49 am

Quote:

I am not replying anyone. - this was a general statement.

You sounded like you were addressing someone.

Quote:

But it really sucks that if the girl doesn't like us back she might think that we are violent or rapists. I wouldn't want anyone to think that of me.

Quote:

You know girls get put in the friendzone too. I liked a guy for a year and a half woth him knowing and never telling me he wasn't interested.

Did you tell him openly? Was he taking advantage of your feelings?

The place of those who do rape threats for whatever reason is prison.

The_Face_of_Boo
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04 Jul 2016, 8:52 am

Peacesells wrote:

Alliekit wrote:

I am not saying that she isn't friends with them, I just say that I would feel really uncomfortable with my friend thinking that of me.

Quote:

When I told him I liked him he kissed me so yea I was lead on

So he kissed you but then didn't want to be your bf? That's pretty f'd up of him.

No, a guy also has the right to say No at any moment. He might have liked her first, then a moment later decided to cut it with her for some reason.

Alliekit should not feel entitled for a relationship with him.

/male-version-of-katy

Alliekit
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04 Jul 2016, 9:15 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Peacesells wrote:

Alliekit wrote:

I am not saying that she isn't friends with them, I just say that I would feel really uncomfortable with my friend thinking that of me.

Quote:

When I told him I liked him he kissed me so yea I was lead on

So he kissed you but then didn't want to be your bf? That's pretty f'd up of him.

I didn't but it was a slap in the face when I confronted him about it and he said he was doing me a favour by giving me my first kiss with someone I liked.

I knew he didn't like me so I should have known better

You know that was a moment that really hurt me and was hard to share so I would appreciate you not being sarcastic about it

Alliekit
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04 Jul 2016, 9:16 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Quote:

I am not replying anyone. - this was a general statement.

You sounded like you were addressing someone.

Quote:

But it really sucks that if the girl doesn't like us back she might think that we are violent or rapists. I wouldn't want anyone to think that of me.

Quote:

You know girls get put in the friendzone too. I liked a guy for a year and a half woth him knowing and never telling me he wasn't interested.

Did you tell him openly? Was he taking advantage of your feelings?

The place of those who do rape threats for whatever reason is prison.

Yea we called the police and they gave him an official warning.

Peacesells
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04 Jul 2016, 9:51 am

Alliekit wrote:

Yeah he is a jerk, I am sorry.

Alliekit
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04 Jul 2016, 10:12 am

Peacesells wrote:

Alliekit wrote:

Yeah he is a jerk, I am sorry.

It's ok I'm happy now and I can now understand where guys are coming from.

The_Face_of_Boo
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04 Jul 2016, 11:56 am

Sorry about that Alliekit.
Ok; just a note to everyone (not only to you Alliekit): A mutually consent kiss is not a guarantee for sex or even a relationship.
Do not mistake a kiss as a yes for everything.
For some of us we might think it means something further, but for others it can be just for sport.

Alliekit
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04 Jul 2016, 12:15 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

It's ok and I realise that now. I was so innocent and infatuated with him at the time I didn't realise.

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