Some of My Problems

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I've put together another six page summary of my life - all bullet pointed, colour co-ordinated. My life is making a bit of sense. But alas, no formal diagnosis and still stuck somewhere between AS and Social Anxiety. Im not taking anything for granted. Im not going proclaim what I have until I've seen someone.

However I just wanted to discuss my problems and get an Aspie perspective.

I can't dance. I hate group talking. I hate going into new places unless I meet my friends outside or I know they're in there - or they serve some functional purpose, like, getting fuel, or shopping. I can't approach women - or groups of people to engage in conversation.

Why? Why is it I hate these things or fear these things?

I've always thought it's not rejection that bothers me, it's feeling embarrassed. I do get strong feels of guilt and shame. And deep down, I know people aren't going to laugh at me if I dance stupid. I don't care what people think of me. Im 40 and pick my nose and eat it. Maybe what I've been telling myself is a lie? Maybe its something different.

The best I can come up with now is that I don't like dancing because it feels unnatural. I have to overthink the steps. I can't let myself go.
I hate group talking because I think part of me doesn't like being challenged. I don't want to be wrong. Though I have no problem being challenged elsewhere. I certainly don't like conflict and confrontation. I think it is more the pressure of a situation I don't like. A pressure to perform.
New Places - I don't fear going in somewhere and leaving if my friends aren't there. I fear all the decision making! I have to find them. If they're not there what do I do? Hang around? Go to the bar? Get a drink? Get them a drink? Where to sit? Where's acceptable?
Women - I don't fear rejection. So what do I fear. Why can't I approach a woman? It's because I don't know their intention. They should wear a flashing light to indicate their singleness and intention. It's pressure again. It's what to say if they say no, and what to say if they say yes. It's trying to come up with something on the spot. I can't read them. I would spend all day trying to hint at my interest while trying to read them for any sign and completely missing. The only two girlfriends I've had, I've been set up with. I need a wingman! I need to get to know someone, slowly.

One question remains, does this sound like social anxiety or aspie ness?

I'm very similar. It's the confusion of situations that makes me want to avoid them. People not being open about their intentions is really difficult.

To me what you're describing sounds like it's more than social anxiety. It sounds like Asperger's Syndrome. Having said that, in the future, I wouldn't be surprised if Asperger's Syndrome is recognized to be several different things.

But in today's understanding, what scientists are discussing, you sound like someone with Asperger's.

I also hate conflict and confrontation. I want to go to a bar, have fun and meet people but the way people argue or size each other up and the kind of humour people use scares me.