Would you date someone you didn't want to marry?

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Would you date someone you didn't want to marry?
Yes 65%  65%  [ 32 ]
No 35%  35%  [ 17 ]
Total votes : 49

Spiderpig
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31 Jan 2016, 8:40 am

If I ever find a woman willing to date me, I might then have an answer.


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Derek281
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31 Jan 2016, 9:05 am

Yes I have - in sugar dating relationships (I am MBA financial manager). The sex is great, no pressure on commitment, some of the women were even engaged or married.



nurseangela
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31 Jan 2016, 9:23 am

Idealist wrote:
nurseangela wrote:
Non_Passerine wrote:
nurseangela wrote:
Nope. Now it they had something that I was attracted to such as a great personality or the same beliefs, then I would because I might end up falling in love with them and then want to marry them.


Don't you have to fall in love before you start dating someone?


No. You date first.


To be fair, it could happen either way.


I think that would be infatuation. Unless you're talking about friends, but I'm just meaning strictly dating. You're either set up on a blind date, or a dating site or whatever. I've never even thought about "love" until after I've met someone. Most of the time they aren't what I have conjured up in my mind.


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nurseangela
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31 Jan 2016, 9:30 am

Non_Passerine wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
With my current boyfriend I didn't know how things would go after our first date, I didn't even know if he'd actually end up being my boyfriend....


Don't you become boyfriend and girlfriend on the first date? That's news to me. If not, when is the "I now pronounce you boyfriend and girlfriend, you may kiss the bride" moment?


I've been on several first and sometimes second dates then decide they're not for me. Some date several people at once which I can't do that myself. I'll date then make a decision pretty quick.


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rdos
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31 Jan 2016, 11:59 am

Idealist wrote:
nurseangela wrote:
Non_Passerine wrote:
nurseangela wrote:
Nope. Now it they had something that I was attracted to such as a great personality or the same beliefs, then I would because I might end up falling in love with them and then want to marry them.


Don't you have to fall in love before you start dating someone?


No. You date first.


To be fair, it could happen either way.


Or none of the ways. You could fall in love with somebody and never date them, rather go straight into a relationship.



nick007
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31 Jan 2016, 4:18 pm

rdos wrote:
Idealist wrote:
nurseangela wrote:
Non_Passerine wrote:
nurseangela wrote:
Nope. Now it they had something that I was attracted to such as a great personality or the same beliefs, then I would because I might end up falling in love with them and then want to marry them.


Don't you have to fall in love before you start dating someone?


No. You date first.


To be fair, it could happen either way.


Or none of the ways. You could fall in love with somebody and never date them, rather go straight into a relationship.
That's what happened in all 3 of my relationships. We met online & became a couple after chatting abit & without going on a date. I've been living with my current girlfriend for 3 years now & we still never went out on an official date thou we do lots of stuff together sometimes.


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Kitty4670
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31 Jan 2016, 4:47 pm

rdos wrote:
Idealist wrote:
nurseangela wrote:
Non_Passerine wrote:
nurseangela wrote:
Nope. Now it they had something that I was attracted to such as a great personality or the same beliefs, then I would because I might end up falling in love with them and then want to marry them.


Don't you have to fall in love before you start dating someone?


No. You date first.


To be fair, it could happen either way.


Or none of the ways. You could fall in love with somebody and never date them, rather go straight into a relationship.



How can you fall in love without dating? Unless you two are friends & you fall in love with your friend.


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Edenthiel
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31 Jan 2016, 5:28 pm

Kitty4670 wrote:
How can you fall in love without dating? Unless you two are friends & you fall in love with your friend.

That works, sometimes quite nicely. When I was in school I met someone who was engaged & so we became friends instead of romantically involved. They realized they were *not* friends with their fiance, just...caught up in it all, flattered & feeling they were doing what they were 'supposed' to do. Eventually they broke up & suddenly we saw each other in a very different way. We've been married for twenty years now & still best friends.


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rdos
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01 Feb 2016, 2:56 am

Kitty4670 wrote:
How can you fall in love without dating? Unless you two are friends & you fall in love with your friend.


You obviously need to see each other regularly, but there is no need to be friends. I don't even think I can change from a friendship to a relationship unless the friendship started as a romantic interest.



Sweetleaf
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02 Feb 2016, 6:15 pm

Non_Passerine wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
With my current boyfriend I didn't know how things would go after our first date, I didn't even know if he'd actually end up being my boyfriend....


Don't you become boyfriend and girlfriend on the first date? That's news to me. If not, when is the "I now pronounce you boyfriend and girlfriend, you may kiss the bride" moment?


Not as far as I know, I mean people can certainly decide to be an exclusive couple on the first date...but it can't be assumed just because of one date you're boyfriend and girlfriend. Otherwise how do you think one night stands/hook ups happen?

And there is no real specific moment of anything, just both parties having the conversation where they both acknowledge they desire remaining in a romantic relationship, rather than breaking it off and going seperate ways to date other people.


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02 Feb 2016, 11:39 pm

Maybe if we had fun doing things like going out to movies or cute romantic things like dancing, but I think we'd both need to be very clear that we were only seeing each other casually. I don't know if there'd be a non-awkward way to break something like that off.



slw1990
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03 Feb 2016, 11:11 pm

If I dated someone I think I would only want to date if they were planning on having a serious relationship, whether we got married or not.

Personally, I feel like casual dating would be pointless. I don't like games very much and would rather date someone who has similar experiences and views.



hurtloam
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12 Feb 2016, 8:20 am

I've changed my mind. I'm not the kind of person who can lead someone on. In theory I'm like yeah, let's just have fun, but when actually faced with the situation I can't do it. It's worse when you start to feel serious and you don't know if they are too or if they're just seeking validation.

I thought I was tougher than this :/


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Amarvilasx
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13 Feb 2016, 2:02 pm

Yes, when I was younger. Like, under 28. Not now due to opportunity cost.



Jono
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13 Feb 2016, 3:37 pm

There are two different meanings to this question. Asking whether you would date someone that they ultimately didn't want to marry is different from asking if they would date someone that they never intend to marry. I would always date someone with the intention of having a long term relationship (and for some people that may ultimately mean marriage, though I don't necessarily believe in it), however there is no guarantee that won't find out later that you are not compatible and decide that this person is not for you. So basically, the dating stage is there to determine if you want to marry them or not.