Girls with Asperger's are reading mental scripts always?

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I use mental scripts all the time. I can be an excellent speaker too, if I may say so, given it is a topic I have rehearsed.

If I am caught in a conversation I have not practised, I may blurt out something silly or awkward. I do not have that emotional sense to tell what can be said and what cannot. Oh, but I have excellent manners, and am taught not to discuss matters such as money, health and private affairs.

Thankfully, I am also very bad at reading faces, so I do not have to know when I have said something preposterous.

I use this technique a lot too, especially before making phone calls or going to the doctor/therapist (it's important, if you want good healthcare/psychological help, to be able to accurately self-report, and thinking beforehand about everything I want to say helps me remember the important points that I need to communicate).

I do it to a lesser extent (but still pretty regularly) with shop attendants, cashiers, and before having an important conversation with a friend or family member. I find thinking carefully beforehand about what I want to say rather than just going into a conversation without preparing helps me to stutter less and lose my place less, and to wander less.

I also find that when a conversation is over I will replay it in my head and then things will occur to me that I forgot to say, or I will wish I had said this or that differently, and I will think of different ways to express things and tuck those things away in my mind for the next conversation with that person.

I script A LOT. Its the only way I could ever keep a job. I've memorized so many short, easy to recall phrases to repeat for every day activities. Even If I have throughly thought about a subject, know what I know and my opinion on something, I rarely bother even trying to express my opinion until I have took time to think the words that make sense. If I do try without pre-scripting, I sound like an idiot. I just usually cannot think of the words on the spot.
Usually if I have had a discussion about that subject, I can recall the words/phrases for another instance, so that I sound like I have no impairment at all. Its very confusing because 80% of the time I sound normal. And honestly, its only after being brought to my attention that scripting had a NAME, I didn't know that I was any different. I just know that I have forever been labeled as "quiet" and that I have caused many awkward silences because I literally did not have any words. Lol.

I have to say, ASL was so much easier to express myself than English. Easiest "A" I have ever gotten in a class.

Seriously.

But often the reason I don't have any words is because when I run the words in my head through the very powerful censorship filters I've developed, there isn't a lot that gets let through. Because no matter what I'm thinking, I can think of a reason why someone doesn't want to hear that.

So unless I think I have somehow thought up the very phrase someone else wants to hear, I'm too scared to say anything. You can't say something wrong if you say nothing...

But I'm running into more and more circumstances where saying nothing is not okay either...

Exactly. #awkwardnessforthewin

I do it compulsively. I rehearse conversations, trying to predict reactions to different ways I can say something (or whether it would be better to give an untrue response or just shut up) and try to script my own lines based on what is going to A) Solve the problem or B) Be least likely to result in conflict.

Most of the time, unfortunately, it's about avoiding conflict and avoiding hurt feelings. That's probably why most of my interpersonal issues continue until I get frustrated enough to discard the relationship (even though I have a reputation for being a really super nice person) and why none of my frustrations or emotional issues ever get resolved. I always end up agreeing with whatever people say I think, should think, feel, should feel, need to do (not always right off the bat, but always after getting in an argument or being threatened). I try again to comply, fail, feel guilty, never get any better.

I also tend, more than half the time, to script off-the-cuff responses on the basis of being in compliance with the views of the person I'm talking to or the most restrictive social norm I'm familiar with.

It hides autism really well. Excellent for passing.

Not so good for connection, or happiness, or psychosocial well-being.

Entertainingly, though, I can be myself on the Internet. There are so many as*holes online that it seems like it's OK to just type. I used to be able to do it on paper, too, but not anymore.

Which is why I have a very active e-life.

I do it constantly, and I always have, though I'm terrible at predicting people. I used to just recite lines from movies over and over again. My whole family sort of did that, my dad and sister and brother and I. It was our sort of bonding thing. As a kid I wasn't too worried about what people thought of me, I would just say what I thought. I realized, though, that I be annoying to people because of my need for absolute clarity. I'd find myself explaining things that people were weary of me explaining. I would break down things that most normal people don't break down, like maybe why I said something a certain way, and it annoyed them to hear it. I can't stop myself, though, because I really need people to understand exactly what I mean. I think it stems from my inability to judge context in conversation without very specific wording. My boyfriend can get irritated at that trait. We could be talking about a subject, say cars, and if in his next sentence he says "it" instead of "cars," I will probably not realize what he is referring to and have to stop him and ask what he's talking about. I can see how it gets tiresome for people.

I just try to stay brief and pleasant. I have terrible social anxiety, so I usually feel a real sense of urgency to escape conversations. I find a quick, "Yeah" and a laugh works well a lot of the time, lol. It just has always seemed to me that other people can say whatever they want, but if I tell people the truth they are stunned by what I've said. But then again, I also think people like pretending to have strong emotions even if they don't as a way of entertainment during their day. So I keep my thoughts to myself and smile and go about my work and then go home.

I also have phone anxiety... I have a lot of trouble speaking out loud in general, especially if I'm working. Other people just wander over and start talking but I can't really concentrate on talking and working at the same time, so I sometimes ignore them by accident. My thoughts become unmoored and get out of order and I start getting ahead of myself. I stop making sense, or I miss context in what they said and I respond all wrong. Don't ever ask me to tell stories out loud, it always falls apart, lol. Nobody would know it to look at me, I "pass" very well because I just don't really socialize. Most people just think I'm a bit distant and cold, I think.

I also find that if I do a sort of rough script before something like a shop interaction, I can then focus more on managing my facial expressions rather than on my wording.

Being that I'm generally awkward, when I know I am going to have a conversation with someone, I reverse over and over in my head what I'm going to say. If I see an uneasy or awkward question coming up, I try to think of possible different ways I can answer them. I often think in advanced.

I have always rehearsed conversations but have never stuck to the scripts. So I waste hours of agonising beforehand and then have hours of cringing about what I actually said afterwards. It is exhausting and unpleasant. Why are we supposed to socialize????

The only situations where I do this are for things like job interviews. Real-life social interaction is far too unpredictable for me to be able to script reliably in a helpful manner, so I don't even bother trying anymore - all it will do is throw me off when someone else inadvertently doesn't follow the script I have in my head.

I don't script. I have no idea what the scripts are supposed to say or how to fake them. The only thing I know is that I should act happy to see people, and ask how they are.

I put extra extra effort in interpreting someone’s words and voice tone. I constantly remind myself when it’s appropriate to get friendly and stuff.

I don't rehearse what to say - but I do remind myself about what NOT to say, or how to sit, don't interrupt, etc.

I do this especially if its over the phone to a doctor or paying a bill. I avoid talking on the phone except for only 2-4 people I know. I've never liked talking on the phone I think part of the reason is because I can't read the room, I can't see their body language, I don't know when to speak, sometimes the background noises of the call are to much (like my mom having the tv at high volume, talking to me, her cats, dogs or husband, etc.) I also do this with certain people or situations I kind of script it first. I also say things off the top of my head a lot as well. Around most people or groups of people I'm usually quite & soft spoken. I have 2 friends that I've known since I was 11 & 15. Neither are neurotypical both are very intelligent each is very different as well. I am free to be myself around them even if I go years without seeing one or the other when we see each other again we're able to pick up like we haven't been apart.
I also have many different animals & I speak to them a whole lot sometimes practicing what I would say in certain situations to a person.
After researching as well as talking to other aspie's I realized a few years ago how much I was masking as well as the toll it was taking on me mentally and physically. So I have made a conscious effort to not script as much as I used to. If people take offense to me respectfully disagreeing with something they say that's the way they choose to take that. Not me who kindly stated in a neutral tone that I don't hold the same view, not ranting or anything. I don't need to worry & over think about this or that interaction.

I don't make mental scripts except if I have to make a phone call like Blood Fairy said, or if I'm leaving voice mail for someone. If I didn't make a script for those I might get nervous and repeat myself or say too much by rambling. I have a hard time getting the enthusiasm level right whether I'm on a phone call or with friends and family. My mom teases me that I chatter too much even with strangers and I've had other people tell me I'm too shy. I don't script in my normal conversations with people because I would end up getting it wrong somehow anyway. If they don't like the way I speak or the things I say they don't have to talk to me .... but I think I manage OK even though I still worry afterward that I may have been rambling.