Minor acquaintance ignoring me

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So as of lately, I have been running into an acquaintance of a two people who I know. One of them was a husband of an ex-friend and another is a close with a casual friend of mine. Though we clashed years ago along with her getting on my nerves, I soon let it go and moved on. In fact those things don't bother me anymore.

Anyway, we have been running into each other on our local rapid transit as of lately and even though I know I am not going to be best buddies with, I made every effort to say hello. On both occasions she said hello but pretty much gave me the hint that she isn't interested by engaging with me as little as possible.

1. The first occasion we talked for a little while but then she went to look at her phone for the rest of the trip and then she was pretty quiet. When she was getting off, I politely said "It was nice to see you." She responded with a very short and annoyed sounding "Bye bye!"

2. I ran into her again early evening on my way to another event and I again was polite enough to reach out by saying hi. I also attempted to sit near her and see how she was doing by asking how work was. She didn't respond and then went to check her phone. I moved away from her because I was a little hurt. When she got off, I proceeded to knock on the windows and wave. She not only kept moving but I saw her rolling her eyes out of the corner.

Should I mention something to her?

No. She's telling you (without actually telling you) that she doesn't want to have anything to do with you.

Forget about her. She doesn't seem very nice anyway, based on her behavior.

Yeah she's different but here is something that I can't quite figure out

1. During our first encounter she did briefly tell me that she was going to text the other woman who I am acquaintance and mention to her that she saw me.

2. Whenever we are at party or a gathering this lady will make act like she's excited to see me and will even talk to me about things that we have in common.

When it comes to public transit, she's acting different.

It sounds to me that in public, where other people that you both know can see her, she's putting on an act. She can't shun you in public like that without looking bad in front of other people that she knows, and whose opinions matter to her.

On public transit, she can get away with shunning you, because there is no one there that she needs to impress. So she feels free to treat you like dirt. It also seems as if she was making fun of you.

NTs do this all the time, especially women. It's not all NT women, just the not-so-nice ones.

Don't feel bad, I've had these experiences in the past, especially as a kid and young adult. It took me a long time to learn how people are. It's not your fault that you are genuine and polite, and this person obviously isn't.

How is she making fun of me? She isn't mocking me or saying anything nasty to me.

She rolled her eyes at you. It's a subtle way of insulting or making fun if someone. Women and girls often do it to other women or girls that they don't like. Mean girl type of behavior.

I would have never considered one rolling their eyes at you as a form of mockery or being mean. Rather more of an attitude myself. I would never have thought about her being a mean lady but you really helped me spell it out you're right. She is mean and it's not just to me but to her other friends as well by putting on an act like that.

Come to think of it, I had a roommate who discovered that she didn't like me because she learned that I was different along with probably being insecure. Whenever we were around other people, she played nice around me as well but when it was just us one on one, that phony mask came off. There were several cases of hostility and open aggression.

Instance:
1. She yelled and nagged at me for silly things

2. There were a few times where I was around and she happened to be in the same room. She turned around and looked at me for a second and then turned back around and ignored me.

3. There was a time where I got her and the other roommate both gift cards from for Christmas and I put them under the tree one night. I came back and discovered that she had taken hers, thrown away gift card jacket and took the card. I didn't know if she returned the card or spent it but I never got a thank you or anything in return.

I have had my share of mean girls

It's good that you can recognize this behavior when it happens. Unfortunately, people are not usually direct when it comes to expressing dislike for another person. It's usually more subtle, especially with women and girls. The hostility is pretty obvious to other people, I think, but aspies don't usually pick up on indirect communication so well.

I learned the hard way by being teased, mocked, and talked about behind my back when I was a kid and as a young teen. I figured out the signs when I was still young, although there are still things that I end up missing.

It is amazing how many women never grow out of their mean girl phase which I find it junior high school level garbage. It sounds like this lady who I mentioned above just about fits that category described. To be really honest, she was pretty uppity towards when I first met her years ago.

I went to sit at the table she was sitting at because it was empty and she made a comment about really caring to get to know me which I found was off.

Then I saw her several months later for a birthday celebration and she was just as sweet as can be to me though she was opinionated.

Last edited by Summer_Twilight on 30 Jan 2016, 8:17 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Yes, there are a lot of women who don't outgrow that behavior. My solution is to be polite, but otherwise avoid people like that. I am not able nor am I willing to play those games.

The problem is that I seem weird to most people, and stuck-up women usually don't want to have anything to do with me. So they either deliberately let me know in indirect ways (without actually telling me) that they don't like me, or they are completely oblivious to how obvious their disapproval is.

I think it's a little bit of both. Some people seem to think that I can't tell that they don't like me, and that they are somehow hiding their disapproval.

To be honest I don't like that lady myself because she's so negative and has said some really offensive things in the past that set me off. I have moved on though.