what things do you find RUDE from NT?

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LaetiBlabla
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03 Feb 2016, 1:36 pm

random1 wrote:
HOW ABOUT YOU STOP READING IN BETWEEN THE LINES FOR ONCE.





I find this rude (but i don't know if it is from an NT, is it?)






Please don’t say i read between lines, it was all caps



BirdInFlight
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03 Feb 2016, 1:48 pm

AJisHere wrote:
@BirdInFlight: As someone who has that job... it may feel super rude, but there can be situations where you have a ton of pressure on you to work quickly. I've done the sort of thing you're describing, myself.

I've got a half-dozen customers in line, all the checkstands are open, all the checkers are stressed out, all the customers are getting impatient... and something doesn't ring up. Well, we can't just stand around and guess. Not with all these people we've got to get out the door. Getting paid by the hour doesn't mean we can slack off.

"AJ, can you go get me a price on this?"

So I'm off, past a crowd of customers and looking for that exact item among dozens of similar ones... if someone's in the way they get an "excuse me" (which you should have gotten, I agree), but I'm not necessarily waiting long for an acknowledgement... some people become totally oblivious in grocery stores. I've got to get that price, rush back up to the front and resume the rest of my duties ASAP. If I wait too long, I've got annoyed supervisors and annoyed customers, and I've allowed time for the line to get bigger so now it's immediately harder for me, too.

Just a bit of perspective there. I think that clerk could have been nicer, but there's a reason for that behavior.


AJ, I appreciate that was probably the case, yes.

I just wish it hadn't been behind me, which was scary. It wouldn't have felt like that if he had given a very clear "Excuse me" even with just the quickest lean around to attempt a quick face to face eye contact, I don't think those additions would have added but half a second onto the process. It really shocked me for someone to dive behind me like that. I felt disrespected and like plantlife in his way. I appreciate that he must have been in a hurry for very likely another customer holding up the line, but I'm a customer too and felt treated poorly.

The annoying thing was, when I later returned to that box, the price was also on the sides of it, including a side he would have been facing as he approached. :(


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Last edited by BirdInFlight on 03 Feb 2016, 1:52 pm, edited 1 time in total.

random1
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03 Feb 2016, 1:55 pm

LaetiBlabla wrote:
random1 wrote:
HOW ABOUT YOU STOP READING IN BETWEEN THE LINES FOR ONCE.





I find this rude (but i don't know if it is from an NT, is it?)




NT read in between the lines.


are u a NT? if you are srry for acting rude.

its just NT just dont care and assume things about you

Please don’t say i read between lines, it was all caps


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LaetiBlabla
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03 Feb 2016, 2:03 pm

This is my quote with the right quotes:

I am asperger. i do not read between lines. I read ALL caps only.

LaetiBlabla wrote:
random1 wrote:
HOW ABOUT YOU STOP READING IN BETWEEN THE LINES FOR ONCE.





I find this rude (but i don't know if it is from an NT, is it?)






Please don’t say i read between lines, it was all caps



Last edited by LaetiBlabla on 03 Feb 2016, 3:21 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Ashariel
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03 Feb 2016, 2:09 pm

I find NT behavior confusing to begin with, so I actually have trouble knowing whether an NT is being rude. I guess I just figure they're just 'acting NT', and I'm the one that doesn't understand it.



LaetiBlabla
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03 Feb 2016, 2:41 pm

I don't find that NTs are more or less polite than AS. It generally more depends on the level of education.

However, i am AS, i find that NT politeness is in some cases hiding a fear of hurting each other's ego and this causes me feeling uncomfortable because i consider it is lies, or at least lack of truth.

I noticed however that between "good friends", NT use less politeness, probably because there is more trust.

I think that most AS make less difference between friends or not friends. It think that AS like truth, and hence may appear less polite in the sense that they less fear to hurt others' ego if they say something negative. When i receive a negative comment, i am also not hurt, i'm happy because it helps me improving, but i know most NT do not see it like this at all.

It is not NT criticism, NT simply have another way of functioning which i find difficult to understand because i find it less efficient.



Last edited by LaetiBlabla on 03 Feb 2016, 3:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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03 Feb 2016, 2:55 pm

I find it rude when NTs see Autism as a disease or equivalent to mental retardation, I actually wrote a short article about it on my Tumblr blog, it bothered me that much. :evil:


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LaetiBlabla
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03 Feb 2016, 3:41 pm

Austinfrom1995 wrote:
I find it rude when NTs see Autism as a disease or equivalent to mental retardation, I actually wrote a short article about it on my Tumblr blog, it bothered me that much. :evil:


I understand your anger. But if you look at it closer...

For us AS, it is so difficult to understand the NTs' way of functioning and way of thinking, although we have so many around us.

For them, NTs, they rarely meet an AS, they do not "need" to understand and adapt. So they make a judgement on the base of external ""symptoms"". They say it is a mental disease or a retardation. This categorisation is sufficient for their need.

So i think it is unfair to hate NTs, only because they do not understand autism.
Ignorance is also widespread, everybody (AS/NT) ignores a huge amount of things.
But ignorance is harmful...



Last edited by LaetiBlabla on 03 Feb 2016, 3:54 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Austinfrom1995
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03 Feb 2016, 3:46 pm

LaetiBlabla wrote:
Austinfrom1995 wrote:
I find it rude when NTs see Autism as a disease or equivalent to mental retardation, I actually wrote a short article about it on my Tumblr blog, it bothered me that much. :evil:


I understand your anger. But if you look at it closer...

For us AS, it is so difficult to understand the NT way of functioning and way of thinking, although we have so many around us.

For them, NTs, they rarely meet an AS, they do not "need" to understand and adapt. So they make a judgement on the base of external ""symptoms"". They say it is a mental disease or a retardation. This categorisation is sufficient for their need.

So i think it is unfair to hate NT, only because they do not understand autism.
Ignorance is widespread, everybody (AS/NT) ignores a huge amount of things.
But ignorance is harmful...


I am not ignorant though. And ignorance is no excuse to see Aspies as less than human.


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killerBunny
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03 Feb 2016, 4:59 pm

Find it difficult to answer given that I don't have a NT detection satellite at my disposal. My self pity gauge is however working overtime in thisthread.



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03 Feb 2016, 5:50 pm

When I'm not bothering anyone, and all of a sudden someone says "Dianthus you're so quiet" in a really obnoxious tone of voice, so that everyone turns to stare at me and then they all start trying to force me to join their conversation.

When I walk into a store, and I am busily heading in the direction of whatever I want to buy, but a clerk actually moves in front of me and blocks my path to ask if I need help.

When people talk "at" me from across a crowded room, or behind my back, without coming closer or using my name or otherwise doing something to get my attention first.

When a person asks me a question, and instead of letting me answer in my own words, gives me a rapid fire multiple choice of answers, or just answers the question for me as if they think they already know what I'm going to say.

Worse, when someone asks me a question, and someone else automatically answers for me as if I'm not there.

Even worse yet, when a person asks someone else a question about me as if I'm not there.

When a person thinks I'm not doing something the correct way, or fast enough, and they yank something out of my hands and try to do it for me.



DevilKisses
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03 Feb 2016, 6:03 pm

Staring at me for more than three seconds.

Using a weird tone of voice with me.

Talking to me like I'm younger.

Talking to me when I'm listening to music.

Not making an effort to make the conversation interesting for me and getting mad when I avoid talking to you for too long.

This isn't really rude, but I find it irritating when people use my name too much.


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B19
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03 Feb 2016, 6:04 pm

"Behaviour technicians" joining WP in the guise of 'being interested in how you parent your autistic child' - we had one today in GAD - the stupidity and cupidity of the idea that autism is 'just a set of behaviours' done by autistic people and can or should be fixed by doing certain behaviours to them is grossly offensive to me and the rudest of all NT behaviours on a forum level here - the very assumption is insulting and coming here to recruit business in sly ways really annoys me.

Today's example is this thread and accompanying profile:
viewtopic.php?t=305403



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03 Feb 2016, 6:18 pm

I'll try keep the list short. :roll:

Probably the most offensive thing about Neuraltypicals is their bigotry and ignorance.

It really pushes all berserk buttons when they embrace stereotypes as absolute fact.

Stereotypes like everyone with Autism is retarded, Sociopaths don't have emotions, or Psychopaths can't feel remorse.

Really stupid ignorant nonsense that would instantly be proven false if they actually took the time and energy to meet and speak with these people.

Alas, it doesn't appear like these stereotypes are going to disappear anytime soon. Still, I'll fight against stupidity and ignorance where ever it appears.

That people with Autism are some of the smartest people that I know, that Sociopaths are some of the most emotional people I know, that Psychopaths can be some of the most remorseful and atoning people I've ever had the pleasure of meeting. I just have to fight senseless bigotry and ignorance one step at a time.


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03 Feb 2016, 11:13 pm

Yigeren wrote:
StarTrekker wrote:
I don't know if I'd necessarily classify it as rude, but one thing NTs do that annoys me is their perpetual lying. Even about small things, like whether they like some innocuous thing or not, or their real opinions on topics like TV shows or music, things that don't even matter. I don't understand why it's so hard for them to be honest, and it bothers me to no end.


Yes, the lying drives me crazy. I really don't understand it. I only lie if I think it's absolutely necessary or if it's the right thing to do.

Not lying at all can be rude, as well. I will tell a white lie in certain cases to avoid hurting feelings. If it's something that I think will help the person to know, I will tell the truth. But sometimes the truth isn't going to do any good, and only make things worse for the person. I'm not a very good liar, though.
I can't do the white lie thing. I tried before and just always bollixed it up. An example would be (And why do people ask this question anyway?):
Them: Does this look good on me?
Me: Not really

White lie:
Them: Does this look good on me?
Me: Sure (Then face does something that then says I'm lying through my teeth.)

What's worse is trying to decipher lies incoming and what is the little lies they tell. Is it a lie to worry about? Is it a lie to let slide?

They all are the same to me. If you lie about something small, you will certainly lie about something big. So....can I really depend on that?


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