Why does this happen when this certain man comes up to me?

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When I used to do voluntary work I got familiar with some of the regular customers, and one of them is an old man who speaks to me if I see him around the town (this is not my hometown but is a town I go to a lot to do shopping/meet friends, etc).

Every time I bump into him, which is usually in the bus station, he says hello and I say hello and we do the usual chitchat like ''how are you?'' ''nice weather'', you know, just normal small talk. But after he's said bye and all that, it leaves literally everybody around me staring at me with their mouths open, literally. This is not my imagination. Our greeting and small talk is just like any greeting or small talk I have with anybody I know, there's nothing different or odd about it at all, he's just a friendly elderly man. But the way everybody stares at me for about half a minute after he's gone really creeps me out.

I know he's an old man and I'm a young woman but I've spoken to other old men before and I don't get those looks from people. This man does not flirt or seem leary in any way (I am good at picking up on body language so I would know if his intentions were sexual or wrong in any way), and anyway surely that still wouldn't make everybody turn to me and stare. I can't quite pinpoint what sort of stares I get every time I speak to him, it's just a prolonged blank stare from everybody who is near me. The last time I saw him, I felt people staring, and people even moved themselves at an angle to stare, and I looked around at people and they are all staring, no word of a lie. When everybody finished staring, just this one girl still continued staring, with her mouth open.

OK so having a friendly greeting with an elderly man is wrong, I'm guessing? I mean, for all they know, he could be a relative of mine, or a neighbour, anybody. Could there be another reason they might stare vividly when he's gone by me after chatting to me? Could they all know something about him that I don't?

Any thoughts?

Well, that sounds uncomfortable. Those people are so rude.

I was thinking that maybe this older man is very wealthy or famous (or infamous). Otherwise, I don't think it would be notable at all.

It's not like you were talking with an older man like Ian McKellen, right?

See here: https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/ ... Kellen.jpg

I think it may be an age barrier thing.
When I am out with an elderly relative, we always get looks, stares, even comments. Even though we are just drinking coffee and chatting. People have asked me if I am a community nurse and this person my patient, as if two people separated by more than ten years could not associate any other way. Others have made comments that it's "so nice" that we go out together. I have always had a sort of blind spot about he social normalities of talking to people who are "different" to me, whether it be age, gender, race, disability, etc so I never knew why before someone else told me.
It seems odd that you talk to other older people and they don't give you the same looks, though. Maybe you had some kind of reason to be talking to those people, whereas this guy seems to just be some unconnected old man?

You're not doing anything wrong by talking to the older guy. It's not rare for young people and older people to talk. Many young people like talking to older people because older people have great ideas, and are wise.

The people looking at you should just mind their own business.

Could people think he has a mental illness or something by how he talks

He does stutter a bit when he talks, but then why would everyone stare at me? I'm not the one stuttering.

People stare when they can't believe that you did something they would never do. So, if this guy is someone they would never talk to for some reason (like his stuttering), they think it odd that you would.

If you were talking to *anyone* who was considered odd or different (and thus ostracized by most people), you draw attention to yourself by going against the flow and talking to that person. It could be someone disabled, someone with a mental illness, a poor person, a dwarf, whatever. Fill in the blank. If you stop to give attention to someone society ignores, you are a weirdo.

Play that part PROUDLY. The one who treats ALL with respect is the one who is doing the right thing. The ones that turn aside and ostracize others are wrong. If they stare and gape, that's their problem. Let them be surprised. Show them what the right thing is. Their gaping mouths are their own shame.

I had no idea NTs were that hateful towards non-NTs or even other NTs with a slight learning difficulty/difference. I think society not tolerating different people to that extent is rather far-fetched. An NT can be friends with a non-NT without the NT being weird. It's called being an adult. I expect that silly behaviour in the school playground, where if you befriend the ''weird kid'' everybody thinks you're weird too, but in the adult world I didn't think the majority of people were that stupid.

Yesterday I was in the supermarket, and I heard these strange and annoying sounds coming from someone. I irritably turned round to identify the ''idiot'' - but as soon as I noticed the strange shouting sounds were coming from a mentally and physically disabled young man in a wheelchair, I completely accepted that and he was not an idiot. So I didn't look any more or judge. I only judge people like teenagers making stupid noises to show off; in my eyes they are idiots. At first I thought it was just a silly teenager or some loud excitable person or some drunk. I saw others staring at him, even after establishing that he was just a disabled person, but they weren't staring at the parent/carer who was pushing the wheelchair and talking to him.

Anyway, why do people think they can stare at me just for talking to an elderly man who stutters a little bit? Staring at me won't change the matter. When you have social anxiety the last thing you want is for strangers around you to stare at you for such a stupid reason. I really don't want this man to come up to me any more.

I wouldn't worry about it. Who cares what people think. If you like talking to him then that is all that matters.

Do you realize that a lot of old people have no one to talk to? He just might look forward to the small talk you guys have - you probably make his day a lot brighter. Life is too short to let strangers dictate how you should live. I'd keep talking to him if it was me.

Well in some places in the UK, people aren't really socialised anymore to talk to people of different ages apart from relatives. Especially the South.

It it is kind of sad really, but not your problem.

I wouldn't care what people think, but the way everybody's eyes are on me after he goes is really unsettling. And the half-sarcastic answer ''give them the middle finger'' is not helpful because it's not in my nature to stick my fingers up at people.

The UK is a free country. You can talk to whomever you want to talk to.

Forget about these people. Really. It's no use even thinking about them.

I mean...forget about these people! Don't allow them to dictate who you talk to, and who you hang out with.

As long as the guy's not a pervert or something--who gives a Rats Butt?

Ask them. Don't just assume they're judging you for superficial reasons, their POV could be valid and you, like many aspies, may not be noticing something is up.

If they do think you're both going out, since people tend to assume these things, I'm pretty sure one or two would have made a snide comment about age difference by now. It has happened to me. People have never stared at me for it though.