Am I a Terrible Person?

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So, I'm not great with people. That means most of my friends, I only know over Facebook. I have one friend in particular who I've been friends with for several years. He's got a couple disabilities of his own, even though he's never told me exactly what they are, but we've still gotten along pretty well all the same. The one thing that's always bugged me is how reluctant he is to do anything new, be it TV shows, YouTube videos, books, etc. He's always trying to induct me into his fandoms, but claims it stresses him out when I so much as show him something I'm into. He also claims that two or three years ago, he suddenly lost the ability to read books. He can still read, but for some unexplainable reason he can't read a book. Problem is, I write books. It's my favorite hobby. Since he's such a close friend to me, I always want to know what he would think of them. But, since he says he can't read books and gets upset when I so much as bring it up, I've left him alone about it.

A couple months ago, he announced to Facebook that he's started reading comics again. I immediately asked if he wanted to check out one of my books, and he shut me down. I left it at that. Then, a couple weeks ago, I tried to run a new idea past him. I didn't want him to read the book, just give me his opinion on the general idea. He flipped his lid, saying I was stressing him out and that even if he read it he wouldn't be able to form an opinion about it.

Well, today he tried to get me to watch an anime he likes. I'd been having a bad day, and that fact that he was trying to push ANOTHER new thing on me, while still refusing to help me out, made me lose my temper. I called him out for being lazy and only wanting to be friends if it didn't require any effort whatsoever on his part. I said he was the ultimate fair weather friend, because his idea of bad weather was me asking him to do anything at all. I said he was hiding behind the word "disability" as an excuse not to do anything he didn't want to. I have disabilities of my own, so I felt like I could sense that better than most "normal" people could. He exploded right back, saying that I didn't understand him at all. He says he has trouble expressing himself, which is why he refuses to form opinions (or even look at) things his friends have made. He acknowledged that he isn't putting any effort forward because it stresses him out too much, and that it's inconsiderate of me to try and make him. I told him it was inconsiderate of him to expect me not to bring up things like that just because caring takes too much effort. Now we're not talking to each other. I feel bad, though. Was I wrong in saying all that?

I don't think so.

But then I couldn't stand to be around the guy. Sounds like such a downer and a leech.

He could be suffering from the stress that he is talking about,

I had some weird stresses and depressions for no real reason when I was younger

You are NOT a terrible person, and you were right in saying that. If this person dishes things out to you, he should be okay with you dishing your work and other interests back to him. Friends share each other's interests. This person is not a real friend, and it sounds like you have an unhealthy relationship with him. He also sounds like someone who revels in drama, and people who revel in drama are the most toxic. It doesn't matter whether or not he has a disability. Avoid this person as much as you can and find good friends.

I don't think you're a terrible person. I think you had every right. One sided friendships can be frustrating.

I mean, I really can't read a book either. Most of the time when I try I just rush through it because it's taking way too long. This is obviously no way to read. It actually gives me anxiety when I try to read. Sometimes pretty badly, like a claustrophobic feeling. I'm actually quite literate, always read far above my grade level in school, got 99 percentile on my standardized tests, but my attention span makes reading a very, very hard thing for me.

My point here is, it does happen. So he could be telling you the truth.

However, if I had a friend who was a writer, and they specifically asked me to check something out, I would try my damndest because they are my friend. I have a friend who is really, really into art. I couldn't care less. Can't draw, paint, and have never had the urge. I'm not really all that visual. But I'd always try to take a genuine interest in his work and give as honest feedback as I could. He, knowing me, wouldn't expect a critique on his style or technique, just to show I was trying to care about something he cared deeply about because we were good friends.

I wouldn't be so quick to throw a friend away, unlike some people answering here. They don't grow on trees. You don't know his mind any more than he knows yours. Maybe he really does get anxiety with trying to put effort out. Maybe he don't really know how and that's scary. And maybe he'll never learn because everyone throws the guy away in frustration.

This is all speculation, of course. And none of that is your problem. But friendships are imbalanced sometimes. Particularly when it comes to certain areas. But if someone is really a friend to you, sometimes accept them for who they are and deal with that imbalance. It can result in arguments and even fights. But that's no reason to throw the whole things away.

You know what I'd do? I'd apologize. And I'd then use that apology as a way to maybe probe a little deeper into what his problem really is. I'd' try to understand what he deals with, and find something in his world that I could relate my frustrations to. As in, when you don't read my things it's like when you... Thats relating and understanding each other. Who knows, maybe you'll help the guy overcome an obstacle, or point him in a different direction.

If he's too hardheaded for any of that, then I'd tell him to f*** off too.