Why did this girl suddenly stop texting back?

Page 2 of 2 [ 21 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2

yellowtamarin
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Sep 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,763
Location: Australia

17 Feb 2016, 5:48 am

Sweetleaf wrote:
yellowtamarin wrote:
No idea, just wait.

But IMO it can be a bit rude/pushy when someone gives you a day when they are available and you try to change it to a day that is earlier. By saying "Saturday" she is essentially saying she's not free to meet you before then, or doesn't want to.


But if the OP just remembered they can't meet up Saturday because they are leaving...what else are they to do, wait until Saturday and stand the girl up that day. I mean it seems that was really the only course of action if they are to get together within the week before OP leaves.

Granted in normal contexts it would be rude to just up and change the day...but if I had decided to meet someone Saturday but they actually couldn't I'd hope they try to reschedule instead of waiting till that day to tell me they can't actually hang out.

Is the OP leaving for a long time? I read it that way at first, but then thought it must be an American "college" thing where you go home for the weekend, so they could meet up after he gets back.



Sweetleaf
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 34,440
Location: Somewhere in Colorado

17 Feb 2016, 12:43 pm

yellowtamarin wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
yellowtamarin wrote:
No idea, just wait.

But IMO it can be a bit rude/pushy when someone gives you a day when they are available and you try to change it to a day that is earlier. By saying "Saturday" she is essentially saying she's not free to meet you before then, or doesn't want to.


But if the OP just remembered they can't meet up Saturday because they are leaving...what else are they to do, wait until Saturday and stand the girl up that day. I mean it seems that was really the only course of action if they are to get together within the week before OP leaves.

Granted in normal contexts it would be rude to just up and change the day...but if I had decided to meet someone Saturday but they actually couldn't I'd hope they try to reschedule instead of waiting till that day to tell me they can't actually hang out.

Is the OP leaving for a long time? I read it that way at first, but then thought it must be an American "college" thing where you go home for the weekend, so they could meet up after he gets back.


Yes but that still requires communicating to her that the original plan of Saturday will not work...I guess it may be a wee bit different to mention a later day. But I guess if I was the female in the story I would not see it as rude if the guy told me he had made a mistake about Saturday asked about Friday...unless I specifically specified I was busy till Saturday then it would seem pushy.


_________________
We won't go back.


yellowtamarin
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Sep 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,763
Location: Australia

17 Feb 2016, 6:58 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
yellowtamarin wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
yellowtamarin wrote:
No idea, just wait.

But IMO it can be a bit rude/pushy when someone gives you a day when they are available and you try to change it to a day that is earlier. By saying "Saturday" she is essentially saying she's not free to meet you before then, or doesn't want to.


But if the OP just remembered they can't meet up Saturday because they are leaving...what else are they to do, wait until Saturday and stand the girl up that day. I mean it seems that was really the only course of action if they are to get together within the week before OP leaves.

Granted in normal contexts it would be rude to just up and change the day...but if I had decided to meet someone Saturday but they actually couldn't I'd hope they try to reschedule instead of waiting till that day to tell me they can't actually hang out.

Is the OP leaving for a long time? I read it that way at first, but then thought it must be an American "college" thing where you go home for the weekend, so they could meet up after he gets back.


Yes but that still requires communicating to her that the original plan of Saturday will not work...I guess it may be a wee bit different to mention a later day. But I guess if I was the female in the story I would not see it as rude if the guy told me he had made a mistake about Saturday asked about Friday...unless I specifically specified I was busy till Saturday then it would seem pushy.

Yeah I was really just commenting on the fact that she had suggested next Saturday. To me that means she doesn't want to meet before then, or at least, I would assume it to mean that to prevent sounding rude. If all this was said face-to-face rather than over text, it would be easier to be casual about it and get a feel for whether she's open to meeting up earlier, but I just think over text it sounds a bit pushy to try to change her suggestion to something earlier rather than later.

Of course he should communicate about the plan before the day, it would definitely be rude to wait til the day to contact her, I wasn't suggesting that at all :)

Anyway, sounds like she might be keen from the last post by the OP, so this may all be irrelevant :P



886
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Jan 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,663
Location: SLC, Utah

19 Feb 2016, 6:48 am

Lifeistoohard wrote:
Damn, she just replied. Right before our class at 1 today. I'm a bit startled, but I'll brush the confusion off and hope for the best!

that happens, too.

there could be a lot of reasons, she could be busy, her attention could be focused elsewhere, or she just doesn't want to spend so much time talking to someone she doesn't know. either way, it's probably best to learn this lesson before actually going out with her. relax, temper expectations, and don't put so much on the line - i mean, if it doesn't work out, life does go on. remember that, relax, just talk to her normally and have a good time.

i get it too, i talk to someone new and i want to talk and text them for hours, and i sit around thinking of very little but their next response. but it doesn't always work or go that way, and that isn't a bad thing.


_________________
If Jesus died for my sins, then I should sin as much as possible, so he didn't die for nothing.


Lifeistoohard
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 3 Mar 2015
Posts: 41

21 Feb 2016, 9:43 pm

Ok, I'm back for now. In a previous post I mentioned the fact that she texted back, but that wasn't to my original text, it was a humorous text I sent 2 days later with a picture of a frozen Poweradre bottle with the caption, "I hope our professor freezes the lecture like this before our test."

I then saw her in class Tuesday, she greeted me with a sweet smile and a soft "hi". Then she told me she wasn't sure if she'll have time off Friday which hinted that she couldn't give a definite answer through text.

Indeed, she ended up telling me on Thursday that she had a long schedule on Friday then gave me two options to study together before our test.