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Jamesy
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17 Feb 2016, 10:54 am

Since I left my first ever job nearly a year ago I feel like I have lost respect.

Is that to be expected when your not working?



Finalfate
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17 Feb 2016, 12:14 pm

What kind of respect, from whom? In what way did you leave your job?

Generally no, especially if you have ASD



Jamesy
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17 Feb 2016, 12:39 pm

Finalfate wrote:
What kind of respect, from whom? In what way did you leave your job?

Generally no, especially if you have ASD




My contract ended but my family believe I messed up my job on purpouse.



Finalfate
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17 Feb 2016, 2:50 pm

Jamesy wrote:
Finalfate wrote:
What kind of respect, from whom? In what way did you leave your job?

Generally no, especially if you have ASD




My contract ended but my family believe I messed up my job on purpouse.


Well it's really unfortunate that your family feels that way. I think of the UK as being a place with high "Asperger's" or ASD awareness, but your parents may be in some sort of denial or ignorance as to the extend of your diagnosis. I think it's great that you even worked, and it doesn't sound like you were fired.

My family is sort of the same way. Some of them deny it completely, while some just don't understand that it comes with real world limitations.

I don't think your family has lost respect for you, but I have trouble grasping the concept of respect. They're probably just worried about you eventually finding success.



Jamesy
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17 Feb 2016, 4:00 pm

Finalfate wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
Finalfate wrote:
What kind of respect, from whom? In what way did you leave your job?

Generally no, especially if you have ASD




My contract ended but my family believe I messed up my job on purpouse.


Well it's really unfortunate that your family feels that way. I think of the UK as being a place with high "Asperger's" or ASD awareness, but your parents may be in some sort of denial or ignorance as to the extend of your diagnosis. I think it's great that you even worked, and it doesn't sound like you were fired.

My family is sort of the same way. Some of them deny it completely, while some just don't understand that it comes with real world limitations.

I don't think your family has lost respect for you, but I have trouble grasping the concept of respect. They're probably just worried about you eventually finding success.





I did not want that job in the first place my mom got it for me.



Fatbloke
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18 Feb 2016, 4:10 am

Jamesy wrote:
Finalfate wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
Finalfate wrote:
What kind of respect, from whom? In what way did you leave your job?

Generally no, especially if you have ASD




My contract ended but my family believe I messed up my job on purpouse.


Well it's really unfortunate that your family feels that way. I think of the UK as being a place with high "Asperger's" or ASD awareness, but your parents may be in some sort of denial or ignorance as to the extend of your diagnosis. I think it's great that you even worked, and it doesn't sound like you were fired.

My family is sort of the same way. Some of them deny it completely, while some just don't understand that it comes with real world limitations.

I don't think your family has lost respect for you, but I have trouble grasping the concept of respect. They're probably just worried about you eventually finding success.





I did not want that job in the first place my mom got it for me.


This is probably the issue. She got you a job in which she expected you to prove yourself invaluable to the company. They only wanted you for the duration of the contract (which is understandable, as that's what they offered). She will now feel that the work she put in getting you into a job was wasted by your lack of ability to get it extended.

Assuming you're in the UK:

As someone who has contracted for a long time, some people believe that contracts are just a method of 'getting to know you' before offering a permanent job. For some companies this may be true in some cases for other companies they wanted someone to do a specific job for a specific period, you could have been brilliant and still wouldn't have had anything extra.

You do need to find yourself something else though. If you have a diagnosis, you can ask for assistance in dealing with interviews and getting a cv together. I found specific issues with interviewing as the Aspie doesn't react to questions in a 'normal' manner and misses some inflections. It also takes me much longer to recognise implications of a situation, so answering questions like 'what would you do in a situation where.... ?' often misses the hidden aspects they are expecting you to understand and deal with in your answer. However, help is at hand and your local Autistic Society will be able to further assist.

Taking a job you didn't want then not working for a year doesn't make a great impression with prospective employers. Specify that the job was a good one on a fixed term contract which couldn't be extended and your ASD has impacted your ability to secure further work. The Jobcentre should react to this and help you in finding something. Sometimes it's better to make an issue of being on the Spectrum, it can work for you.



cberg
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18 Feb 2016, 4:39 am

Contracting through family connections can work though only if you remember it's a gamble for experience. I've had a boss in that scenario who almost scammed $1600 off me in a public library. This is going to seem counter-intuitive, you might actually enjoy non-contractual work with similar responsibility. A big rule in software contracting is that I will be getting fired, as long as that doesn't happen in the interviews.


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Jamesy
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18 Feb 2016, 7:26 am

In my last job unfairly I believe they pitted me against another guy in the office who had dyspraxia, brain damage and a learning disability.

He was not as intelligent as me but was a lot more social and likeable than I was in the office environment. He already worked there for 1 year when I joined in 2014 and is still employed there now.



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18 Feb 2016, 8:16 am

People like people who have jobs better than people who don't have jobs.

It has something to do with the ability to support yourself/children, and/or a perception of laziness for those who don't have a job.

All in all, it's better, if you're beyond university age, if you are either looking for a job, or have one.