Do you do stuff you'd find rude if others did it to you?

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phenomenon
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21 Apr 2007, 2:49 am

I was at the hospital the other day and a lady kept walking back and forth in front of me so I kept having to move my legs. She was quite nice about it and apologizing profusely and it didn't even bother me. However, I was reading and I didn't acknowledge her past looking up as she went by. I know the polite thing to do would have been to smile and assure her that it was quite alright (this I know through years of "training"), but it just did not seem at ALL necessary to me...she was doing her thing and I was doing mine and I didn't see any need whatsoever to "discuss" it (through smiling and verbal expression). However, I know if I was doing something like this to someone and I apologized and they didn't look up and smile I would think they were annoyed by me. It's just that on the receiving end of the annoyance I know how I am feeling (not bothered) so I don't think it is necessary to express this one way or another. Is this common? Am I being hypocritical?



Lightning88
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21 Apr 2007, 2:58 am

I try not to annoy others since I hate it when people do so to me (especially when it comes to being blunt). The only thing I can think of that I do is that I talk down to people.



Graelwyn
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21 Apr 2007, 3:07 am

I am afraid I can be a terrible hypocrite, and the worst thing is being very aware of when you are engaging in a behaviour that you hate in others, lol. For example, I hate it when someone just logs off without saying something on messenger, yet I am guilty of it myself. I hate it when people just stop in the middle of an aisle or a pavement , but I do it myself more and more because I just freeze up. I do so many things I hate others doing and I am hyper aware of it... I will sometimes be writing a post on here about something, then realise that damn, I am doing what I only yesterday criticised someone else for doing. :oops:



calandale
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21 Apr 2007, 3:44 am

Yeah. But they shouldn't sit next to me in the first place.



SmallFruitSong
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21 Apr 2007, 6:35 am

I do this too, although I don't realise that I've acted in an offensive manner until afterwards :lol:

Sometimes I'll realise that I've been droning about a subject for ages, other times I realise afterwards that I might've intruded into another person's personal space. Or I might find that I was rude in my statements - I was too blunt, too sharp, too hasty etc.

The sad thing is, I'm not aware of committing these errors until much later, so I keep repeating them :roll: Perhaps it's a lack of self-awareness, nerves, or a combination?


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Sopho
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21 Apr 2007, 8:21 am

I think I sometimes do. I try not to but sometimes I don't think I realise it until I think about it properly afterwards. I don't do it deliberately though I just don't seem to think about it properly at the time.



9CatMom
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21 Apr 2007, 9:32 am

Some of the traits I despise in others are morally and ethically wrong, and I don't engage in those. However, I try hard not to do little things that I would find annoying in others.



Starbuline
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21 Apr 2007, 1:06 pm

All the time.



ikambokem
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21 Apr 2007, 2:23 pm

phenomenon wrote:
However, I was reading and I didn't acknowledge her past looking up as she went by. I know the polite thing to do would have been to smile and assure her that it was quite alright (this I know through years of "training"), but it just did not seem at ALL necessary to me...she was doing her thing and I was doing mine


Wow I do the same exact thing and it never occured to me that others might misconstrue my un-acknowladgement as being rude in nature. I usually try hard not to be annoying but some of my behaviors are simply instinctual and no matter how much effort i exert attempting to supress them they always come through. I suppose you can't please everyone. I'm new by the way, nice to meet you



LostInSpace
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22 Apr 2007, 10:50 am

SmallFruitSong wrote:
I do this too, although I don't realise that I've acted in an offensive manner until afterwards :lol:

Sometimes I'll realise that I've been droning about a subject for ages, other times I realise afterwards that I might've intruded into another person's personal space.


I'll also often realize things afterward. For instance, one thing I do a *lot* is that I forget to give any background info for what I'm saying, I guess I just assume that the person knows what I'm talking about or referring to, and then later I'll realize that they probably didn't know what I was talking about. Pragmatic skills.... sigh.



SeriousGirl
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22 Apr 2007, 12:53 pm

I try not to since I would hate being a hypocrite. I have rules of deportment I use in public. However, I do make comments appropos of nothing, such as LostinSpace mentioned but that is not so much rude as confusing to the recipient. I call them "lateral thoughts" and that seems to satisfy people. If you do that a lot, I would suggest cultivating a reputation of being creative and quirky and people will easily overlook it. :D


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pi_woman
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22 Apr 2007, 4:42 pm

This is why I try to practice the Platinum Rule instead of the Golden Rule.

Do unto others as they want to be done unto.



Sedaka
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22 Apr 2007, 5:58 pm

calandale wrote:
Yeah. But they shouldn't sit next to me in the first place.


ill make sure i sit to the right of you so i can use my lefty-elbowing-abilities against thee :twisted:


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kyethra
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23 Apr 2007, 1:17 am

I'm sure I do. In general I try not to. Sometimes I think its ok for me to do things that it isn't necessarily ok for others to do. If I wanted to send my husband 20 random text messages one afternoon I could cause he is my husband. Not that I really would. But if someone else does it I think its rude because the phone always buzzing makes him anxious and makes me edgy. Or when I do something like not get things (you know, NT stuff) I think its more ok for me to do that because I have a pretty good reason for not getting things and I do try. But if someone else doesn't get things they are supposed to and they have any impairments or anything else that makes them not get it except their not trying harder, then I think that is sometimes different too.



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23 Apr 2007, 1:21 am

Touch without warning. I find myself putting my hands on friend's shoulders as a friendly gesture... And yet I damn near jump out of my skin when anyone touches me.


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