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Giancarlo372
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26 Feb 2016, 10:58 am

So... Last Fall, I gathered up my courage and asked a (very attractive) girl to Homecoming. Not only did she say yes, but we had a good time. She's a Mormon, so instead of going to the dance itself, where people were sure to be drinking, smoking, and grinding, we just went bowling. She said she had an excellent time and would love to do it again. Then she informed me that her brother had Aspergers, so I naturally, and probably stupidly, told her that I had the same diagnosis. Ever since, she's been friendly enough but seems to be avoiding me. Then, a couple weeks ago, I asked her to Prom. I probably got WAAAY overconfident. She said she would love to go with me. Then the next day she texted me saying she changed her mind and decided to just go with her friends. Anyway, I've been contemplating how to get back at her for lying to me. Yes, I'm that kind of Aspie: cunning, vindictive, and vengeful. SHE doesn't know that, though. Any suggestions?



The Grand Inquisitor
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26 Feb 2016, 11:08 am

Giancarlo372 wrote:
Yes, I'm that kind of Aspie: cunning, vindictive, and vengeful. SHE doesn't know that, though. Any suggestions?


Well, she really dodged a bullet there...



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26 Feb 2016, 11:26 am

Revenge? Make something of yourself. Become someone so attractive, and so special that any woman would be thrilled with just a few moments of your attention.

Then ignore her.


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kraftiekortie
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26 Feb 2016, 11:38 am

Revenge serves no purpose. It'll only get you into trouble.

Just move on, sir.



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26 Feb 2016, 12:19 pm

It doesn't sound like she lied, she changed her mind and then informed you of it before the event. If she's mormon maybe her parents took issue with the idea I know parents in that religion can be quite strict, or maybe she's just a indecisive teen who thought she may want to go with you but got convinced by her friends she should just go with them....or maybe she decided she'd be more comfortable that way.

You could let it go and see if she'd want to hang out some other time or do something else with her...theres a number of reasons she could have changed her mind. Or you can do as you wish and burn bridges with her to ensure she wants nothing to do with you at all...but you'll have to figure out how to do that on your own.


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26 Feb 2016, 12:19 pm

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
Giancarlo372 wrote:
Yes, I'm that kind of Aspie: cunning, vindictive, and vengeful. SHE doesn't know that, though. Any suggestions?


Well, she really dodged a bullet there...


Yeah no kidding...that is a terrible sort of person to end up in a relationship with.


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26 Feb 2016, 12:23 pm

Giancarlo372 wrote:
So... Last Fall, I gathered up my courage and asked a (very attractive) girl to Homecoming. Not only did she say yes, but we had a good time. She's a Mormon, so instead of going to the dance itself, where people were sure to be drinking, smoking, and grinding, we just went bowling. She said she had an excellent time and would love to do it again. Then she informed me that her brother had Aspergers, so I naturally, and probably stupidly, told her that I had the same diagnosis. Ever since, she's been friendly enough but seems to be avoiding me. Then, a couple weeks ago, I asked her to Prom. I probably got WAAAY overconfident. She said she would love to go with me. Then the next day she texted me saying she changed her mind and decided to just go with her friends. Anyway, I've been contemplating how to get back at her for lying to me. Yes, I'm that kind of Aspie: cunning, vindictive, and vengeful. SHE doesn't know that, though. Any suggestions?

I think its wrong to act like being an 'aspie' is a good excuse to be vengeful, if someone isnt interested in you in a certain way its just the way it is. You cant force anyone to be your romantic partner, and definately not 'punish' them for it.



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26 Feb 2016, 12:32 pm

She had no obligation to you, people may change their mind at the last moment. That is why free will and laws exist to protect people, just as you could have changed your mind.

If she was flaky or uninterested, she did you both a favour by not leading you on. Move on and find someone that is genuinely attracted to you.



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26 Feb 2016, 2:45 pm

Giancarlo372 wrote:
So... Last Fall, I gathered up my courage and asked a (very attractive) girl to Homecoming. Not only did she say yes, but we had a good time. She's a Mormon, so instead of going to the dance itself, where people were sure to be drinking, smoking, and grinding, we just went bowling. She said she had an excellent time and would love to do it again. Then she informed me that her brother had Aspergers, so I naturally, and probably stupidly, told her that I had the same diagnosis. Ever since, she's been friendly enough but seems to be avoiding me. Then, a couple weeks ago, I asked her to Prom. I probably got WAAAY overconfident. She said she would love to go with me. Then the next day she texted me saying she changed her mind and decided to just go with her friends. Anyway, I've been contemplating how to get back at her for lying to me. Yes, I'm that kind of Aspie: cunning, vindictive, and vengeful. SHE doesn't know that, though. Any suggestions?


From my POV this seems a whole lot like a Teenager response, rather than a strictly AS response. Once you get older, you should start to view such incidents as honest change of hearts, as opposed to outright betrayal and lies.

Have you ever heard the popular saying bros before hoes, well women have their own saying, chicks before dicks, and it tends to hold true enough. Besides you could still go to the prom with your own friends and ask her to dance when you're there. :roll:


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Lockeye
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26 Feb 2016, 2:52 pm

Giancarlo372 wrote:
Yes, I'm that kind of Aspie: cunning, vindictive, and vengeful. SHE doesn't know that, though. Any suggestions?


Sounds like she made the right call.

That isn't a type of Aspie - those kind of behavioral traits are often associated with personality or emotional disturbances, regardless of ASD status. Have you ever thought about exploring where you might have acquired those kind of traits? Not asking you to respond here with your explorations, but it might help you to see where you picked up mirroring that revengeful kind of behavior from someone else.


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0_equals_true
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26 Feb 2016, 3:07 pm

Silly.

You can get back by growing up, and getting on with your life.



Giancarlo372
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01 Mar 2016, 10:45 am

You guys are right. I recently found out it was her parents who told her she had to go with just her friends; and it was because I'm not Mormon. They basically said "limit one per customer" unless you're Mormon. I'm actually glad I didn't do what I was planning to do (which was to utterly and completely ruin her reputation) because as it turns out she's actually very nice. She DID want to go to Prom with me, but her parents wouldn't let her. Her mom likes me, but her dad doesn't know me and thus doesn't trust me. My manipulative, deceitful personality stems from serious trust issues, so I get where he is coming from. I'm still working on getting over some of the things that people have done to me. I'm no longer physically threatened by anyone like I was in elementary school, after learning how to fight (Primarily Krav Maga, Pencak Silat, Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, Combat Hapkido, with some training in Muay Thai, Keysi Fighting Method, and Jeet Kune Do). Sorry, I just realized I'm talking too much and getting off track; funny how my mind works like that. Emily (the Mormon girl) still talks to me a lot, and we are getting along much better since I talked to her parents. I'm probably not going to Prom, but she said hopefully her dad will let her do something later. I really feel bad for assuming she was just trying to be an as*hole. Since her brother has Asperger's, I should have known better than to assume that's why she didn't want to go or that she was discriminating because of a label. She's a really good person and apparently is very forgiving. I was the one in the wrong. Here's a picture of us.Image



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01 Mar 2016, 3:48 pm

You really need to get this s**t in check before you do something horrible to an innocent person and ruin their life.

I have absolutely no problem with revenge if the person has done something to deserve it. You can see now what almost happened so I'd suggest thinking about this situation before you exact revenge on anyone in the future. Make sure they deserve it first.

Also, even if she had decided to not go out with you because of your AS, that would not be a reason for revenge. Other people's romantic preferences aren't under their control and they are no reason to get revenge against them.


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kraftiekortie
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01 Mar 2016, 3:51 pm

I'm glad you didn't go through with the revenge, buddy.

Now, you have a good friend for life, probably.



The_Face_of_Boo
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01 Mar 2016, 3:55 pm

Stop right there.



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01 Mar 2016, 3:56 pm

It looks like her dad is not mistaken about you...