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erkyo
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

Joined: 3 Mar 2016
Gender: Male
Posts: 25
Location: Maryland

03 Mar 2016, 11:32 am

Hello everyone,

Who remembers the show "Boy Meets World". I sure do. It was one of my favorite shows growing up during my teenage years. Specifically because the main characters Corey and Topanga, Shawn, Eric (brother) and of course MR Feeny went through middle school and high in the same grades as I did in real life. How cool is that, huh? I of course am the Corey Mattews of the show. The woman I'm interested in is obviously Topanga, and you guys and gals out their listening and reading are the Mr. Feeny's, Eric's and Shawn's of the show giving guidance to me just as they did with Corey and Topanga to help their relationship flourish.

I'm inviting you on a journey of a similar aspect. What you are about to read is my story. As it unfolds here, in real time, as I post updates when I can. Think of each update like a new episode. The pilot episode airs right now. My goal: I hope to not only accomplish finding love in a new girl I just met with Asperger's I just met few weeks ago but, also help myself as well as many others who are like me to understand what it is like to love someone with Asperger's specially a NT romancing a Aspigirl. I love helping people when I can so if it reaches out to atleast one person. Mission accomplished!! This a totally new experience for me. So hang on tight and let's see where this crazy ride brings us. Ready?? Go!!

My name is Eric (it really is) and this is my first time here and, my very first post as well. I have a lot to say and many questions to ask, for that I found out just over 36hrs ago the woman I falling for fast, has Asperger's. So please bare with me lol. And thank you in advance to anyone and everyone who replies and offers their wisdom, criticism, insight and, advice for me. It's already greatly appreciated :)


I'll guess the best way to start is from the beginning. I recently moved to a new area about a month ago. A local convenient store is within walking distance so instead of driving I rather just walk there. Now I noticed several nights a week while passing through the store's small parking lot sat a vehicle and inside sat an attractive young woman. I didn't think much of it until I had taken noticed she was there... a lot. And it did not seem to matter what time of night or early morning it was. I'm a night owl by the way. I initial thought "Oh maybe an unmarked officer or security". Something like that.

So one night I see the vehicle sitting there, same spot as always. I passed by went about my business into the store. As I come out the store curiosity starts getting the best of me and I just has to know why she was there almost every night. I walk up say hello. She rolls the window even more and says hi back to me. I say this " I'm new around here and I'm just wondering why you are here a lot and for hours at time" (For those wondering I can see where she parks from outside my row home at the end of my street. I smoke my cigarettes outside so all I have to do is look left and can see if her vehicle is there or not.) Anyway, her response is this " I'm not a cop, I'm not a prostitute and I'm not a drug dealer".

I still laugh every time I tell someone this. I say back to her, "What is that you do while your're here every night if you don't mind me asking?" "I'm an artist. I come here at night because the light from the store is just the right amount of light for me to see but not overly bright. That's also why I park in the same spot every time. I do all my sketches while here and then I use that as my reference for my oil paintings " I politely ask if I can see what she was working on. She showed me and I was impressed.

I asked her if she mined if I smoked or not. (I didn't want smoke blowing near her). "No I don't mind, I'm a chain smoker myself. I'm relieved that you smoke too because I wanted to light up a cigarette but I didn't want to be rude and have smoke blow out of my window and into your face or get on your clothes because I know the smell can stick to your clothes and make them stink. And if you don't smoke and the people you go home might think you now do" She replied what seemed like to me all in one breathe, without a pause. I just smiled back at her.

We continued with small talk and during our conversation I found out we already a few core things in common. We both our divorced from a relationship close to 10yrs Each have one child. I have a 13 almost 14yr old daughter, she has a 14yr old son. We are about the same age. I'm 34 she's 36 and I would have never guessed 36. I told her sincerely that I thought she was only in her mid 20's and she was very pretty and asked her what was her secret. "I don't have any secrets, I do have Asperger's. It's a High Functioning Autism and my son has Autism as well. So every night after he goes to sleep I come here to kinda relax and work on my sketches. It's my chill time. And I'm not that far from where I live so if he calls I can be home in like 2 minutes, but my mom lives with me too, so she is always there while I am up here. It's why I keep looking away when you talk or I do because I'm always checking down at my phone" LOL again all in one breathe but I just thought it's was the cutest thing ever. I'm tickled pink inside and with a huge grin on my face but at the same time I proceeded with embarrassment because I say back "Yeah that's pretty cool, I live at home with my parents due to recent circumstances, I lost my job".

Keep in mind at this stage of just meeting her, I had no idea what Asperger's is or what high functioning Autism meant. With the combo of being a single dad, no job, no car either and worst of all I live with my parents I was waiting to see that window roll up and hear something like, oh my son just called gotta go type thing. To my utter surprise she said back to me "It can be rough out there. I'm unemployed also and I'm on welfare. I try to sell my oil paintings but it's a hard market and finding someone to commission a painting for me to sell is very frustrating and stressful."

I don't want anyone here to get the wrong idea about me but, when I heard her say that, it was a sigh of relief because I was like, okay she get's it and can totally relate me and my situation knowing life is a struggle and doesn't always goes as planned. I told her just that and asked if she believed in God specifically Jesus. She said yes and told me how she was raised in a baptist church but, also how she believe's we aren't alone in the universe and there is all this evidence to prove it. We talked for another 90min about God, aliens, ancient aliens (and the show of the same name), ancient civilizations, our divorce's and why we did. I found her reason way more intriguing then my reason. Mine reasoning was the soon to be classic tale of how, my wife at the time, met someone on FB and left me and my daughter. (Just an FYI they married and he is actually a really great guy. And we are all friends in this day of age. Forgive and move is the healthiest thing not only for us but teaches are daughter a valuable life lesson) I admitted to my new found friend that my role as a husband was pretty crappy at best on most days and I believed I pushed her (my ex) away and it's weird how you can be married, live with them but, at the same time make someone feel as if they are alone. I asked her, "Why did you divorced?" She pulled back looked completely at the floor of her car and in the saddest, quietest voice I heard her say, "He just stopped talking me".

I had a million questions to ask but fearing I'd wear out my welcoming, I resisted the urge to do so. In my mind I couldn't understand and still don't know, why on Earth he would stop talking to her. I've only known her for 90 minutes and thought she was the most fascinating interesting person I have ever met. I could listening to her talk for hours on end. Add to that the addition of how sweet her voice sounds I feel like when she talks it's like a song for my ears.

I quickly responded with a "I'm sorry to hear that, I've enjoyed listening and chatting with you tonight." "That's sweet of you to say but I need to get back to what I was doing" she said. "Okay it's cool. I understand you were busy before I stopped you to talk." Nervously I continued, "Perhaps, maybe, if you like, we can continue this tomorrow morning or, when ever, over some coffee?" I chuckled out loud "I know that sounds so cliche but like I just said it was really nice meeting and I really found our conversation intriguing. "Now my heart is racing and I'm really anticipating a yeah sure that'll be great here's my number text me.

Instead I got what I didn't want to hear and she simply said, "Aww that's sweet but I can't" I was waiting for her to say more, maybe a reason why she can't. Nope, that was it. So then I went for it. I laid my cards down and asked her for her number. My anxiety had risen now because she just told me no to my coffee idea and I was pretty confident in myself before that so, now I had absolutely no idea what this answer will be. "No I'm sorry, but I'll be back up here tomorrow." I was kinda off put by that, perplexed if you will. Almost like how the kids these days say, Thanks but no thanks. I'm on two strike now, I don't wanna strike out on the first night. Enough with the questions and keep it joe cool. "Alrighty, I might cya tomorrow night then if you're up here. Enjoy the rest of your night". "Okay see you later" She said. And back home I went. Smiling ear to ear the whole way. I thought to myself "Hey at least she invited me back up there Win for me!". :heart: :D

Let me speed this story up and get to a question that I need help with. LOL the second main reason why I'm here today. The first being that I really like her sooooo much I just enjoy telling any and everyone how I met her and how the first night went. That was about three weeks ago. I went back the second night and we hit off again. Just talking, joking around, having a grand old time in a parking lot of a convenient store. The third night it was really cold out so she invited me into her vehicle and we talked again for hours on end trice more. I see her about 3 times a week and every time the conversation never runs dry, ever!! :)

However, two weeks ago she mentioned how she is in love with a guy but, that he lived far away. :/ I thought it was post divorce. Recently a few nights ago I found out more information about this guy because when I walked up she was on the phone with him. She hung with him and we started our nightly chat session as she worked on a dress she was altering in her jeep because the lining of the dress felt scratchy and irritated her skin, so she was using shears to cut it out then later on she planned to replace it with one made of cotton. I find it so fascinating because I can't nor do I have the know how to do so. ( I know guys and gals, I ramble on about her. It's all with good intentions) Anyway... she said she couldn't talk long that night because she was going through a rough time with him and he had problems she was helping with and wanted to call him back. I was completely okay with that notion. I thought it was very thoughtful of her to me time for me. Made me feel special. Heck, just seeing her made my night. We wound up talking for 45 minutes.

I didn't dare want to ask what they were talking about. I really have no interest and besides it's none of my business. What I already knew about this guy she quoted saying "so in love with" and always "have loved him" is this: They have had sex before in the past. I'm not if it's sure pre- or post divorce. She told me she is now asexual (FYI it's been 5 years since my last time. I'm not looking or seeking a person just to copulate with. I already care about her, I like her a lot, okay I'm head over heals for this woman. In love I am!! :heart: ) so my guess is they had done so before marriage, a long time ago. However she's told me after them having sex he became "mean", "not as nice", "isn't the same", and "lashes out on me verbally" upsetting her to the point where she doesn't even bother going to her "chill spot" where we meet, she tells me. I'm thinking he might have been her first. I don't know. I could ask. Maybe it's not important and honestly seems irrelevant to me. Or is it?? She has had 4 sexual partners in her life. Is that important to know, I mean for those of you out there reading reading this? But now I recently found out she's known him since she was 17yrs old and he lives 1200 miles away. So the above assumptions might be true about them being together before they got married.

Okay so same night of her talking to him and altering her dress and after we talked and I had went home. I noticed very late in the morning around 3:30am I go out smoke and still see her jeep up there. I was worried but I reminded myself she's been going up there for the past two years without me. Still I worried. I couldn't shake the feeling. I wrestled with the idea of going back up for an hour. So I did. As I walked up there I noticed the jeep was now facing my direction. She was awake and moving. She had this look on her face like she had been crying all night after I left. Red eyes, kinda puffy. I told her, "I never seen you up here this late and I was worried about you. I just wanted to make sure everything was alright." I pulled out my jacket pocket a bottle of water in case she was thirsty and offered it to her. She said, " Aww that's so sweet but you go ahead and keep it. You live in 33?" Referring to my home address. "No, but close 32", I said. "Are you sure you're okay?" I wondered asking her. "I just haven't been having a good night. My head hurts (as she's popping Advil) and I called my friend back , he suffers from PTSD so I been trying to help him with that tonight but he's," short pause ,"lashing out at me verbally, and because of my Asperger's, it's just hard, I don't get it, I can't figure it out. "I'm sorry your night didn't go as you have hoped for. And what's Asperger's again? I really don't know. Sorry.". She replied, "It's a high functioning Autism." "Ohhhh I see now. I thought Asperger's and the high functional Autism, that you very first mention to me were two completely separate things and I misunderstood you that night thinking you were describing you son's type of Autism." She became instantly very antsy, fidgety , started her truck up. "When you get back home look up "aspie", A-S-P-I-E. That what we call ourselves. I do, I have to go. I'll see you later". "Okay good night" I said. And before I had my back turned, her Jeep was in motion driving off the parking lot to where ever it was she was going.

That was a day and a half ago. WOW can't believe I've been up this long and writing this out for 5 hours now. I didn't see her last night. I did what she asked me to do. I google searched "aspie" and "aspie woman", I can't say my world has changed upside down but, it has and at the same time, has not. I can also state honestly I know 100% more about Asperger's then I did 2 days ago. I know to spell it with an apostrophe "s", always! LOL. Just one more little small fact I picked up on.

Now that the plot has been set, everyone is caught up to speed and, know where I am today. My first BIG important question is: Do I tell her how I feel even though she says she is in love with this guy who lives far away. I don't want to cause more stress for her and I also do not want lose what we already have because she is a great person and I don't want to scare her off or push her away. What kind of questions should I be asking? FYI, I'm not afraid to come out and say how I feel about her. That's not an issue for me.

Please, let the first comments commence. And feel free to ask me any questions at all wheter it's about me or her. I'm open and willing answer everything to the best of my knowledge with 100% honestly and, if I don't know I will say, I don't know. Thank you soooooooo much again!! :heart: :D



erkyo
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

Joined: 3 Mar 2016
Gender: Male
Posts: 25
Location: Maryland

04 Mar 2016, 1:49 am

I made this for her tonight in the snow where she parks. I hope she sees it. Will she suspect it is from me? Next time I see her I plan on telling her I made it. I took a picture so I can show her it was me.

Still have not talked her because she has yet to return to her usual nightly spot. I just want to tell her how I feel. If she does not feel the same way I do about her it's okay. At least I tried.

Here is the picture:

Image



erkyo
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

Joined: 3 Mar 2016
Gender: Male
Posts: 25
Location: Maryland

04 Mar 2016, 3:26 am

I just posted this to her YOuTube channel that she has since I do not have her number to text nor no other way to contact her. She know I know her YouTube channel. I already posted a comment before.. I really hope I am not crossing an boundaries, but I love her. I know I do.. And my heart wants, what it wants, and I have to try every way possible to let her know this. Even if it means failure. I can except failure, but i can not except not trying to fail. Question: Would this be the deal breaker for you if I pursued you this much in such short time of only 3 weeks, woman between the ages of 25-40??

Anyway what I posted raw uncut:

Hi,

Since I know now you can basically get insta-messages, to sort of say, though here on YouTube, I decided at this very moment to try to contact you. The reason beings frankly because I miss you. I have a lot more to add than, "just missing you" in lieu of my feelings to say the least but, I rather just wait, and tell you in person. Whenever the stars line up to do so, I'm perfectly fine waiting. In other words... next time I see you at 7-11.

FYI. I been wanting to tell and let you know how I exactly feel since the first night I met you. Remember how the first night almost right away, I complemented you and said you are pretty right away? You followed by saying something along the lines of "oh you think I'm beautiful?" I in return said, "I only said you are pretty. I think beauty is something deep with-in someone. You are pretty on the outside but, I do not know you well enough to say you are beautiful." LOL remember that? Hope so. I sure do.

I also remember how you reacted when I said that. I perceived your reaction to be like it has been something no one has ever came across to you so brutally honest. AT the same time and in that brief moment I could tell you like it. Just like when you asked me "What do you think of this?" as you showed off the snake jewelry and I simply said "it's dumb" at first. Ya, I tried to cover up the fact I redact on my original statement because I did not ant to hurt your feelings.

BTW am I rambling on?? Of course I am! All with good reason and, eventually I'll make a point somewhere. Well to be blunt, my point is this. I doooo think you are beautiful! :) You have so many great traits about that I have discovered over the past few weeks. The all so many cliche traits that exist, such as kindness, tenderheartedness, thoughtfulness, polite, honest and down to Earth.

Cliche's are here for a reason. I also believe I met you for some reason and, not by chance. To say it was "chance" does not give the full credit it deserves. I believe things happen by design with a purpose. I believe no matter what I suppose to met you. Someway...Somehow. And in the billions of years since existence, existed, I strongly believe everything came together for one moment, for our two paths to cross. Eventually X has to cross Z mathematically speaking. I'm just happy to know, and want you to know, you make me happy, knowing you are who you are that crossed paths with me. I wouldn't choose any other person right now even if given the choice.

In short what I'm trying to say is 5 paragraphs later, I like you. I mean I more than like you. I can;t stop how I feel and it's all because of who you are I what I've come to know. I want to know soooo much more about you , and appreciate the time you have given me thus far to get to know this much about you now. You are a fascinating person and I'm not afraid to say anything around you. I just want more time to say these things to you. I just, couldn't hold it in one more day so I decided to say i this way. LOL hell if ya want I'll read all this you. I'm not afraid to say it so at all. I was more more afraid of you never hearing it!!



erkyo
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

Joined: 3 Mar 2016
Gender: Male
Posts: 25
Location: Maryland

04 Mar 2016, 4:10 am

Sucess!!

She deleted my most recent message which means she has at least read some of it! :) HA! Who am I am kidding? We all know she read the entire "Love confession" I posted to her YouTube. It is now 4:am EST.

Remember I have not been asleep since this past Tuesday Morning, here it is Friday now. I can barely type with my eyes open. I feel I have accomplished so much in the past 59 hours since learning what Asperger' is and, how it is/could affect my life.

I'm going to bed.

FOr everyone who has been following this story as it unfolds thanks you!! !



The_Face_of_Boo
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04 Mar 2016, 4:38 am

Your text wall is longer than Boy Meets World.



Outrider
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04 Mar 2016, 7:17 am

Um, if she deleted it instead of replying with a positive message...she's not interested...sorry...

at least you tried.

I haven't read your whole long-winded story yet, just skimmed the last couple of messages. But I'll get right to it, then edit this post or make a new one giving my thoughts on your story.

UPDATE:

1. I thought you were the one with Aspergers, not her. My mistake.

2. It sounds like your impatience has gotten the better of you. Right now, all she truly needs is someone there for her to provide care and support. She's going through a lot right now and you're aware of this, but you didn't think straight - perhaps you are over-tired. You're moving far too fast for her, I think, and Aspergers or no Asperger's, she was trying to hint this to you.

3. Aspie's usually do value honesty, yes. However, you still may have come across far too strong for her. Some aspie's have trouble handling their emotions and are extremely sensitive. She comes across this way to me, and with all the distress she's already feeling, she now has that message you sent her. She probably has read all of it.

4. She might have deleted it not in a negative way, but just to get it off her youtube page. Perhaps she doesn't understand it might hurt you if all she does is delete it and not reply with a positive message. For all we know she may not be good at online communication and prefer real-life. Some aspies have trouble with real-life communication and prefer online, others the exact opposite (like me).

5. It is possible she is interested, but going through too much right now.

6. It's possible she hasn't picked up any of your hints/advances, as aspies can sometimes be blind to romantic or sexual intentions. This may be why she was comfortable talking to you about the man she is in love with right in front of your face. No offense, but you may have been 'friendzoned'.

7. It's possible she had and, while she enjoys your company, has been trying to subtly reject you the entire time. Even some honest aspies may still try to hint things instead of openly saying they're not interested. You know her better than I do, so you may or may not have a better idea if this is true or not.

8. What I would have suggested was to take things a bit slower, possibly wait a few days without any sort of communication to let her sort her problems out, and then talk to her again. You should have communicated you are there for her and will provide help and support. Your youtube message should not have confessed your feelings, but said something like 'I haven't seen you in x days and kind of worried. I know you're going trhough a lot right now so I just wanted to know if you're okay. Just remember if you ever need someone to talk to you always have me and Id be perfectly happy to help you out and listen to you talk about your problems. It would make my day if you could take the time to read all of this and reply back to me saying you're perfectly okay and safe. So please if you're out there try and send a message to me when you can."

9. You've made a few missteps, but there still may be hope. If she shows up there again, I do suggest approaching her in a one-last ditch effort and acting like you didn't say anything. If she doesn't want to talk, she's not interested.

It may be immoral, but I suggest lying or making up some sort of excuse, maybe your computer was hacked, maybe you sent it to the wrong person by mistake, maybe you were just drunk. I don't know, something.

Act dumb and pretend you had no idea you sent the message and if she continues to be cold and stand-offish. "Oh? I know why you're mad. That message. Right, Ican explain. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to send that to you/inset other believable excuse".

Or if you are more moral than that, just take responsibility for the message and confirm it's all true, but apologize if you made her uncomfortable, and tell her you know she's going through a lot so you're sorry, and that you're fine with just being friends and being there to support her in this rough time.

Good luck.

I'll admit, I'm on your side here. I'm a hopeless romantic type and this story does sound pretty nice and sweet to me, so I hope it can end well, but things seem very, very bleak right now.

I wish you all the best.

Regards, Outrider.



erkyo
Tufted Titmouse
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07 Mar 2016, 12:11 am

Last update:

Haven't heard nor seen her since that Tuesday night so I have to assume she wants nothing to do with me at all. Toughest part about it is just that, I have to assume. It's much easier hearing a negative response then nothing at all. Like to be honest a "piss off" would have be nicer to hear then complete silence. It's a shame, I really enjoyed talking to her most of all, just listening and hearing everything about her was so very interesting.

On a positive note. If there was one thing I learned about this, is I learned a hell of lot about Asperger's Syndrome. I knew nothing of it a week ago and all the researched I learned from it is knowledge I'll have with me for the rest of my life.

Farewell everyone and, I hope love finds all of you!! !

-Eric



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07 Mar 2016, 12:55 am

A valiant effort.

Well, have you really been unable to see her at all? Has her car been parked there anymore or not?

You sound like an alright man, you were willing to learn as much as you could about Asperger's to understand her better, and you're taking the rejection well.

Aspie women are a little rare, so for now it's better you try and find N.T./non-aspie women, but I say you should get back out there, and maybe one day you'll meet another one and do the right thing this time.



erkyo
Tufted Titmouse
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Posts: 25
Location: Maryland

07 Mar 2016, 1:15 am

Outrider wrote:
A valiant effort.

Well, have you really been unable to see her at all? Has her car been parked there anymore or not?

You sound like an alright man, you were willing to learn as much as you could about Asperger's to understand her better, and you're taking the rejection well.

Aspie women are a little rare, so for now it's better you try and find N.T./non-aspie women, but I say you should get back out there, and maybe one day you'll meet another one and do the right thing this time.


Well I have seen her car there during the day a few times but, from the one time I went up there in the day time to talk (before knowing what Asperger's was), she told me she just wanted to "chill" by her self. I said "Okay cya later".

So now knowing, I did not go up there to disrupt the "her time" she needs out of respect. I figured she might be up there like usual at night, but since has not been. To be honest, I really just want to talk to her, all feelings I may have completely put a side. Like, just talk how we did. It was enjoyable and I know she did too. I at least wanted to be able to say "Hey I looked into that "aspie" thing you told me about". I don't know, it's a real bummer.

I feel like I ruined a great thing going by rushing in. I'm not good at these type of things either and I have always been a really super shy person when it comes to telling a crush something about I feel. I would always end up in the friend zone only to find out months later the woman would tell me soemething like "Ya know I liked you at first but you never came on to me or told me you liked me" I didn't want to miss my chance again and it backfired BIG TIME!! ! Now I'm not grilfirend zoned or friendzone just back to bymyselfzone lol.

About dating an NT, I can't help who I fall for, and I'm not a shallow person what so ever. I couldn't tell she was even after telling multi times before lol!! The comedic part about this I did some of the online test things and just like she told me once, I do have a lot of aspie traits, which explains a lot of my social interaction or the lack there of I should say.

But hey man thanks for listening. I really which the outcome would have been different. I really wanted to try and work something out with her. Just a chance. I'm not afraid of failure, more afraid of never getting the chance to try



erkyo
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

Joined: 3 Mar 2016
Gender: Male
Posts: 25
Location: Maryland

07 Mar 2016, 1:58 am

@Outrider or anyone else,

I been thinking about this a lot as well. Please help me out.

Do you think it is possible, that maybe, she is not intentionally avoiding me because she never wants to speak to me again but rather because she can't emotionally right now. Like maybe she had a meltdown that last night I saw her. Because the more I replay the last moment seeing her the more I can tell how stressed and distraught looking she was. I could tell she was irritated and extremely annoyed but at that guy she was talking with on the phone. She told me that. It's cold here and even colder at 4am in the morning last I saw her, but she was sweating had her coat off only wearing a tank top and like I said in my long ass story above she was definitely crying with red eyes. I'm sure by coming back up there to check on her only added to it but I was not the initial cause of all the stress that guy was. She was perfectly good (from what I could tell) earlier that night. We talked well over for an hour.

I'm just looking for some kind of hope here (though it seems bleak). Maybe she did have a meltdown night and hurt herself and she doesn't what me to see a bruised hand or something like that. Maybe that's why her last words to me were look up aspie before she drove away.

Of course if that was the case, I know messaging her telling her what I felt did not help any at all. But I had good intentions. I did. And from what I learned depression comes after a meltdown and varies for everyone and can vary in time differently as well for everyone as well. And with that guy being a jerk to her and me saying I like her a long with other family problems she would tell me (no specifics but "just family stuff" she would say), maybe, just maybe, it is taking this long to process, deal with and it just sooooooo much at once. Hell that would be a lot for me! Can't imagine how she must feel.

The bitter sweet factor is I hope that is the case only because I can wait and I'll be patient and definitely not throw all my cards down at once. Like I said I'm willing to try, I want to try and give it my all. I know now I don't have to nor should I do everything at once.

So what are your thoughts???



erkyo
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07 Mar 2016, 7:03 pm

UPDATE:

Great news this time!! :D

After dinner tonight I went out for a smoke and she was in her usual parking spot. I walked up there and she seemed happy and even better she said she was happy to see me. I asked her about my message and if she was purposely avoiding me. She said "Oh no, last week was just a very stressful week and I needed to hide and decompress. Plus I was working on some of my art for a customer and had a ton of paper work to fill out for my doctor." But no I like talking to you and I might be up her later tonight. I have my son and later on at 11pm my Aunt is coming into town so I have to pick her from the bus station. If I do come up here tonight it won't be until way later like around midnight."

I felt a huge wave of relief wash over me when I heard all that. I asked about the message again I sent earlier in the week. I said "I'm sorry if my 5 paragraph message brought or added any additional stress". She replied "I checked my notifications and was able to read the first maybe, two sentences and when I tried to open it up it was gone and, I didn't delete it, it's still here in my google notifications." She showed me her phone and sure enough there it was just the first sentence of the message and when she proceeded to open it up nothing popped up.

I chuckled and told her "It was because I had deleted the message from Youtube thinking you has already removed it from her comments section." "No I wanted to read it but I couldn't" She said smiling ear to ear. I quickly added, "It wasn't anything offensive, just something I wanted to tell you and now since you haven't read it, I much rather tell you in person. I'm weird and I saved it so I can read the whole thing later to ya if you like". "Yeah I would like that, like I said though I won't be up here until late tonight if I do come back up. But I still have your number so I will text you later to let you know". With great punctuality I replied "Yeah definitely text me either way to let me know, that sounds great!"

The tables have completely turned around for me in 24hrs. I went from thinking she never wanted to talk to me again and thinking she was avoiding me, to her potentially texted me to let me know she going back up there. And she wants to hear what I have to personally say to her. I'm so happy at this moment and midnight can not come soon enough!! !! ! :D :D :D :D



Outrider
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07 Mar 2016, 7:31 pm

Very lucky!

But wait, are you still going to confess your feeling?

If so, be honest but don't come on so strongly like you did online.

Like I said, right now, even if her stress is at a calmer point, she still could be going through a lot and just needs someone here for her more than anything.

I'd make sure she still isn't in love and focusing on that other man who lives far away.



erkyo
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07 Mar 2016, 8:23 pm

Outrider wrote:
Very lucky!

But wait, are you still going to confess your feeling?

If so, be honest but don't come on so strongly like you did online.

Like I said, right now, even if her stress is at a calmer point, she still could be going through a lot and just needs someone here for her more than anything.

I'd make sure she still isn't in love and focusing on that other man who lives far away.



@Outrider

Solid advice and will keep this in mind later tonight Thanks!!

Since I am getting a second chance here, I think I will just go up there to hang out and talk like before. After all I enjoy her company very much so I do not want to ruin it again. And with her having to get her Aunt later tonight that might be stressful having an extra person in the house for a week so yes, for tonight I'll keep the mushy feely stuff out of the picture.

If however she insist on bringing up the message what should I do? I mean, I have a gut feeling she kinda knows what it is about but not 100% sure. Should I read or just simplify it and tell her I like her?

Thanks again!



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08 Mar 2016, 1:58 am

No don't give her the exact words. I know it's honest but she's going through a lot.

Since you already asked her out and she technically said no, I wouldn't try that again.

Just be simple but not too simple. Something like "I've really enjoyed getting to know you these past few weeks and our time together. You're amazing to chat to and have such a unique perspective on the world I've never seen before in anyone. I just wanted to say I really like you a lot and would really like to get to know you better."



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08 Mar 2016, 2:16 am

Image



rdos
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08 Mar 2016, 2:52 am

Great story. If I read the thread before I'd say you were going too fast with it. If you do it again, make sure you do one thing at a time, and wait for responses. That way you will be more synchronized in how fast things advance.

I have a similar story (but going over a much larger time-span), but I won't post it online. I do discuss it in PMs with interesting people though, so if you are interested in how neurodiverse / Aspies sometimes play elaborate games like this, send me a PM and we can discuss it.