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Boo!

Thanks for those simple things, btw. You're in my mind, so you're still part of my life, even if not. I hope I returned some to you, as the words were/are genuine here, as...me. Too honest for his own good.

dear head cashier stephanie:

you told me that you were sitting in customer service for thirty minutes watching the door and only saw josh pushing carts, and nichelle and me were not pushing carts. but i was pushing carts the whole time. Please go to Loss Prevention and review the videotapes. i am still paranoid that you might get my worthless corpse written up. hearing the static on the walkie talkies makes me feel like vomitting. last week, you were even more annoying than Marie. if you were so busy spying on lot attendants, then maybe you were not working in Customer Service. you are about to gimmie a f*****g heart attack. who told you to micromanage the lot attendants? i find it hard to imagine that anyone in the building is so uptight that they told you that.
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dear head cashier meylin:

please do not tell jim (or anyone else) that i "screamed" at you. you grunted "huh", so apparrently i wasn't loud enough, "huh"? you f*****g extroverts can't have a single thought or emotion without making a public service announcement.

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dear jim:

please do not believe whatever meylin (or anyone else) tells you. please consult the audiotapes. "huh?"

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dear nichelle:

please do not be so f*****g curt. please load some merchandise once in a while. you act like you don't even work there.

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dear dena:

please answer my stupidass e-mail. i feel codependent and fear you don't wanna be my "friend" no more.

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dear ASM Don:

please come to work. i have not gotten over the barbeque incident, but you are still much less wrong than harold, wanzo, antakia, javier.

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When you were laughing the other night was it because Im psychotic and manic at the same time? Did I make you laugh, no? Don't worry about it I give up. You win. Take the keys to our nonexistent house, change the last names of the children we never had. Tell everyone about my third nipple. But really, this is all a confusing mess, any move I make I still feel like a jerk. Even pretending we never met doesn't come close to pleasing you. Take out your rage on me like we talked about, although then we were kind of flirting while trying to communicate that we're freaking nuts and dysfunctional. Instead of love bites, maybe you can swing that figurtive baseball bat at my face again.

Till we make another mess again...

I have a third nipple too.

I've always felt guilty for making that choice for you when it wasn't mine to make. It's partly why I'm here when I'm feeling so bad, to...offer you to come along with me on this one in the way I can that wouldn't be as confronting to you since all of that time passed, to right that wrong. I, of course, fell head over heels because decade long stuff there and I'm silly like that; it's going to always be there, for good or bad. Consider that offer of and sharing it with you my repentance for that mistake I made. All of this also shows you that I'm here to stay, as I've never been able to interact with others when at my lowest before, and I am interacting with you (in the open too; I'd rather walk through a well emplaced APERS minefield carrying a handwritten message).

Maybe it's fully why I'm here, because I feel terrible for it and how it would have made you feel (along with trying to repay you for all the good things you did for me).

Are you there, Satan? It's me, Margaret...

Out of Mind Auto-Reply:

Thank you for messaging 1800WriteToIsabella.

Due to a high messaging demand, your wait time could be *BEEEEEP* about 12 hours.

If you'd like to hold, press # now.

If you'd like to log off and have Isabella message you, press @ now.

If you'd like to run screaming off the side of a steep cliff, please call your emergency services or 911.

This is a recording.

what if there's an angry bear?
Who do I call?

Uhhhhhh .... Our technicians are aware of this problem and hope to have the err, Bear under control this situation sorted shortly!

Cookie Monster bear has taken swipes out of the server.
Good luck to the technicians.

Dear Universe,

My Cookie Monster is back to work already.

I'm just here sniffing my partner on my pillow.

Can they bottle scent?

Because yeah I'm weird.

And I like both options for the big day.

El español tendrá un costo adicional.
Tenga lista su tarjeta de crédito y espere el próximo Issy disponible.
Eres el décimo escritor en la cola.
El tiempo de espera aproximado es de 5 horas.
Gracias por su paciencia y continuo apoyo financiero.

^Life is the continued support of waiting, isn't it?

I'm home, but I need to stim and listen to music for a couple of hours so I can decompress.
There was an unfortunate incident regarding misophonia and sensory-hell.
Operators are standing by and will be with you momentarily.

Sorry to hear that. Noise can tests my stress limits too.
I was thinking about how bad the laws in Canada are, the other day.
Got a alot to deal with.

*unintentional ...but apropos