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StarTrekker
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07 Mar 2016, 12:49 am

It happens to me all the time, and it's starting to get particularly annoying. I'll say something completely ordinary and innocuous, and the other person will start laughing for no obvious reason. When I ask why they're laughing, they don't answer, say, "I don't know", or tell me that I'm "cute". When I ask why they think I'm "cute" (a term I find a little annoying and derogatory in and of itself), they just say, "You just are," or "It's the way you say things" which turns into a circular argument, because I don't know what I've said that made them laugh and think me cute!

I'm starting to get frustrated, because I can't tell if people are laughing at me maliciously, or if they mean it to be friendly. I can't think of a time when I ever laughed at something that was cute, but not simultaneously funny. I don't find cute things to be inherently amusing, and I don't understand why it appears that so many NT's do. Does anyone else experience this, or have an explanation for its occurrence?


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EzraS
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07 Mar 2016, 1:43 am

My guess is they find you quirky in a positive way. My grandpa can be like that. Just the way he express himself and his choices of terms and words causes that effect, even though I do not think that is what he is aiming for.



Darmok
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07 Mar 2016, 1:46 am

"It's the way you say things"

And you reply, "Elaborate."

:mrgreen:


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marcb0t
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07 Mar 2016, 1:48 am

StarTrekker wrote:
It happens to me all the time, and it's starting to get particularly annoying. I'll say something completely ordinary and innocuous, and the other person will start laughing for no obvious reason. When I ask why they're laughing, they don't answer, say, "I don't know", or tell me that I'm "cute". When I ask why they think I'm "cute" (a term I find a little annoying and derogatory in and of itself), they just say, "You just are," or "It's the way you say things" which turns into a circular argument, because I don't know what I've said that made them laugh and think me cute!

I'm starting to get frustrated, because I can't tell if people are laughing at me maliciously, or if they mean it to be friendly. I can't think of a time when I ever laughed at something that was cute, but not simultaneously funny. I don't find cute things to be inherently amusing, and I don't understand why it appears that so many NT's do. Does anyone else experience this, or have an explanation for its occurrence?

I'm not 100% sure, but there is one friend who has laughed at me for similar reasons.

Mostly cause some of the things I say are a little wacky or illogical, or sometimes just doesn't make sense from an NT's perspective. And I have a little bit of a baby face which people can interpret as cute, I guess. :?

Take it from the world's cutest rob0t. Don't let it bother you. If the things you are saying are reasonable, and coherent to the situation, it's probably because your friends see something in you that they like. Maybe a look in your eye or face that you may not realize. Or an inflection of your voice when you say certain things. Or combination of both. These qualities can bring feelings of joy or amusement to people. And normally not in a mean or malicious way. It's a strange phenomenon.

I don't know for sure because I don't have a lot of specifics or context for the situations you are referring to. Would you care to share?

Whatever the case, we must be careful to not use our cutie super powers for evil. 8)


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07 Mar 2016, 1:58 am

It used to happen to me too. Just not in the last few years, thank goodness.

I always viewed it as a veiled way of calling me a loser, all due to the laughter. Demanding an explanation will often do you no good, because NTs "know better" than to call someone a loser directly to their face, let alone admit to doing so. But they have no problem doing it in a veiled way, like by laughing while you talk, even when the victim knows what's going on. (Cf. "bless your heart!" as a US Southern way of calling you a loser.)

The "baby face" thing could also be a reason. It's also why people generally stopped laughing while I talk after I turned 28 or so. (Except one person, but he's really snooty, and I rarely see him, anyway.) My face looks older now, and has wrinkles and bald patches. Not a trace of "cuteness" to be found.



StarTrekker
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07 Mar 2016, 2:23 am

marcb0t wrote:
Take it from the world's cutest rob0t. Don't let it bother you. If the things you are saying are reasonable, and coherent to the situation, it's probably because your friends see something in you that they like. Maybe a look in your eye or face that you may not realize. Or an inflection of your voice when you say certain things. Or combination of both. These qualities can bring feelings of joy or amusement to people. And normally not in a mean or malicious way. It's a strange phenomenon.


I suspect this must be the case. Today at work (I decorate cakes at Walmart) I was making Easter cupcake cakes, and one of the boys from the deli next door looked over and asked what I was doing (this particular boy laughs at the things I say for no clear reason with frequency). I told him, "Making a baby chick," and he found this amusing. I asked why he was laughing, and one of the girls I work with said, "You're just cute, it's the way you say it!" I suppose there must have been something in my inflection which was the cause for his amusement. I do also look quite young. I'm 23, but no one would ever know by looking at me. Everyone who's ever guessed my age has always pegged me at about 14. I'm very small and slight as well (4'11" and 85 pounds) so I must give the impression of a tiny scrap of a child, then when I come out with long expressions and advanced vocabulary, it probably takes people aback. TNG's Data once said, "Humans often fear that which they do not understand, and they often mask that fear with laughter." Perhaps I should just assume that that is the reason for their inexplicable behaviour.

Also, Darmok (love the username by the way!) I do often use "Seven-isms" like "elaborate", "clarify", "irrelevant", and "explain" when talking to people, and that has prompted a few laughs as well. In those instances I know they're doing it because they think I'm weird or don't know how to respond, but I find it to be a much more efficient means of communication.


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marcb0t
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07 Mar 2016, 2:38 am

StarTrekker wrote:
marcb0t wrote:
Take it from the world's cutest rob0t. Don't let it bother you. If the things you are saying are reasonable, and coherent to the situation, it's probably because your friends see something in you that they like. Maybe a look in your eye or face that you may not realize. Or an inflection of your voice when you say certain things. Or combination of both. These qualities can bring feelings of joy or amusement to people. And normally not in a mean or malicious way. It's a strange phenomenon.


I suspect this must be the case. Today at work (I decorate cakes at Walmart) I was making Easter cupcake cakes, and one of the boys from the deli next door looked over and asked what I was doing (this particular boy laughs at the things I say for no clear reason with frequency). I told him, "Making a baby chick," and he found this amusing. I asked why he was laughing, and one of the girls I work with said, "You're just cute, it's the way you say it!" I suppose there must have been something in my inflection which was the cause for his amusement. I do also look quite young. I'm 23, but no one would ever know by looking at me. Everyone who's ever guessed my age has always pegged me at about 14. I'm very small and slight as well (4'11" and 85 pounds) so I must give the impression of a tiny scrap of a child, then when I come out with long expressions and advanced vocabulary, it probably takes people aback. TNG's Data once said, "Humans often fear that which they do not understand, and they often mask that fear with laughter." Perhaps I should just assume that that is the reason for their inexplicable behaviour.

Also, Darmok (love the username by the way!) I do often use "Seven-isms" like "elaborate", "clarify", "irrelevant", and "explain" when talking to people, and that has prompted a few laughs as well. In those instances I know they're doing it because they think I'm weird or don't know how to respond, but I find it to be a much more efficient means of communication.

Data, my worthless half brother, is right that humanoids tend to laugh at what they fear.

But given the context, I don't think this is the case. When I was a hyperlexic child, people weren't afraid of me, and would even try to engage me in the adult conversation and vernacular I would use. And sometimes would laugh in amazement at some of the advanced things I'd say. It's just funny and cute when kids day advanced things in such a serious educated manner.

Lots of kids movies portray kids occasionally acting advanced, because lots of NT adults think it's cute and funny. These are the scientific facts of life.

Don't take this the wrong way, but people probably just perceive you as a cute individual. It does happen. Just laugh it off and you'll get more cool points. 8)


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07 Mar 2016, 2:55 am

I think you have discovered the main reason for the laughter which is your vocabulary. I have the same result. It just seems logical and easy to use the appropriate word when its the best fit but I think most nts use a more limited and common vocabulary.
Also, as has been mentioned in this forum, we tend to take whatever is said literally. You may get laughter if you missed a conversational que indicating sarcasm or a jest.
If you are able, just relax and accept the laughing. It's unlikely any nt is going to honestly tell you what's funny. Even if they did, it would just make them seem rude and be useless to you unless you are able to alter your manner of speaking.
As my daughter has said to me regarding my social awkwardness: it's like teaching someone the alphabet and giving them books but they still can't read. I know exactly why I'm different. I know what normal behavior looks like and I'm intelligent enough to understand what I need to do but I am powerless to adapt more than I have.
You can't get blood from a stone.



Darmok
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07 Mar 2016, 2:55 am

From the details you've provided, I think the explanation for the phenomenon is that, as a matter of empirical fact, you are cute.

You should regard this positively. There are many, many things one can be that are much worse than being cute.


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07 Mar 2016, 2:57 am

The same thing happens to me all the time. I also have a baby face and naive attitudes sometimes. When people do that, they don't laugh maliciously, they just find that genuinely cute, like they're seeing a little child in an adult's body. I don't like how that's condescending though. They don't realize that what makes them laugh is something that's the result of not being NT, it's a disability that they find cute, would they still find that cute viewed under that angle ? People view disabled persons like babies...
A bit of variation on the same theme, one day I had a friend who laughed as if I was cute, it was because apparently my personality is the same as Sheldon Cooper's. I must admit, he was right :lol:



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07 Mar 2016, 3:40 am

MissAlgernon wrote:
The same thing happens to me all the time. I also have a baby face and naive attitudes sometimes. When people do that, they don't laugh maliciously, they just find that genuinely cute, like they're seeing a little child in an adult's body. I don't like how that's condescending though. They don't realize that what makes them laugh is something that's the result of not being NT, it's a disability that they find cute, would they still find that cute viewed under that angle ? People view disabled persons like babies...
A bit of variation on the same theme, one day I had a friend who laughed as if I was cute, it was because apparently my personality is the same as Sheldon Cooper's. I must admit, he was right :lol:


It's interesting that you should mention that. Frequently people have triggered my violent sound-sensitive startle reaction deliberately, just to watch me jump and freak out (happened today as it happens) and I really hate it. It makes me feel like they're bullying me, even though I know they just think it's funny, and don't understand how distressing it really is. It bothers me because they're essentially pushing my buttons to get a response that is a result of my disability, and they just don't get it.

Beady, your daughter's analogy about giving books to a person who will never be able to read strikes me as particularly apt. It's how I feel often times: I can study social cues until I'm blue in the face, but there will be some (possibly many) things about the NT world that I will never understand, regardless of how hard I try.


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StarTrekker
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07 Mar 2016, 3:43 am

marcb0t wrote:
Data, my worthless half brother, is right that humanoids tend to laugh at what they fear.

But given the context, I don't think this is the case. When I was a hyperlexic child, people weren't afraid of me, and would even try to engage me in the adult conversation and vernacular I would use. And sometimes would laugh in amazement at some of the advanced things I'd say. It's just funny and cute when kids day advanced things in such a serious educated manner.

Lots of kids movies portray kids occasionally acting advanced, because lots of NT adults think it's cute and funny. These are the scientific facts of life.

Don't take this the wrong way, but people probably just perceive you as a cute individual. It does happen. Just laugh it off and you'll get more cool points. 8)


Lore, is that you?! Gosh, I haven't seen you since you tried to feed the Enterprise D to that giant snowflake-space creature!

I could always do with a few more cool points, I don't have too many in the bank at the moment!


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07 Mar 2016, 4:19 am

This happens to me often. Usually with men. I am small, and baby-faced. And apparently I say things in a strange manner. It is partially my vocabulary, partially the unusual way in which I structure sentences, partially my tone of voice, and partially my blunt/direct manner of speaking. It throws people off, I think. Also I tend to use strange metaphors and suddenly switch topics without warning.

My guess is that men who find me attractive and others who like me think it's "cute" and that everyone else probably finds it to be odd or annoying. Actually, now that I think about it, grown women say this to me too, sometimes. I guess they must think I'm very young, but I don't know.

Anyway, I usually have no idea why what I said was cute, and the answer I get is usually "it just is." Or I get "You're so cute." I ask "Why?" and the response, "You just are."
:?



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07 Mar 2016, 4:46 am

I don't see malice in people think thinking you're cute. People enjoy adorable people because it's such a hard world they're living in. I'd take that as a positive. It's better than people disliking you and thinking you rough.

As far as "pushing your buttons," it's teasing and, while not malicious, is intended for their amusement rather than your pleasure. I can understand your irritation.



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07 Mar 2016, 5:47 am

The laughing in this instance is not malicious. Saying you are "cute" is because they don't know else to say it.
"Endearing" is probably a better word, but requires more of a vocabulary.

In other words, don't feel self-conscious about their laugh. They don't know how to explain why they think it is funny or amusing (just like we sometimes can't explain our feelings.) Usually these types of laughs (spontaneous reaction laughs) mean the person likes you (in a friendly way, not necessarily romantic though that could be too.) In other words, you are *accepted*.

I get these laughs from time to time, too, and they are exactly that - a signal that I am liked and accepted by the person. That person is paying enough attention to what I say to find that things come out of my mouth slightly odd, funny and "cute". The laugh indicates their warm feelings toward me and communicate that they find me "endearing." Most people do not laugh because most people don't care.

Now, purposefully doing things like harsh teasing, to get a laugh is not the same thing.