Seeing a psychologist

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I am self-diagnosed with aspergers syndrome. I am looking into seeing a therapist but I am afraid she won't diagnose me as autism positive.

My symptoms are,
self harming,
intense restricted interests,
difficulty relating to peers,
no friends,
only like talking about heavy "meaningful" conversations


The problem is I scrub up pretty well, I'm "presentable" but what's outside doesn't necessarily reflect the inside.
I want to create a meaningful narrative for my life, that the things that happened in my life particularly my life choices happened not because I was lazy or didn't try to deal with my problems conscientiously but because there was a wall separating me from other people.

I believe that wall was autism.

I tried so hard to dig myself out of my hole when I was young, I tried to be friendly and study hard, but the real me couldn't be accepted by other people and that still to this day really hurts.

Autism allows me to forgive myself, but what if other people(professionals) won't allow me autism.

Does any one have experience or opinions about this?

I think there may be better fitting diagnoses than autism to explain your problems

what kind of self harm?

I do hope the following does not seem too harsh - please understand that it is intended as friendly advice.

The way you phrase your post as wanting to be "allowed" your diagnosis concerns me a little, and I worry that you could be setting yourself up for disappointment, or even a mental crisis, if the psychologist does not agree with you. Try to remember that getting an accurate diagnosis will serve you better in the long term than being "allowed" the one you want. A diagnosis should be about better understanding yourself, and not be a life goal unto itself - forgive me if I have misinterpreted your words, but this is how your post makes it sound.

I'm not trying to say that you are necessarily wrong in your self-diagnosis, either - the traits you mention are consistent with autism, though not complete enough to say with any certainty. But ZombieBride is quite right, it would be better to keep an open mind at this stage, as there are other possible explanations - and those would also give you the kind of release from anxiety, self forgiveness and the clear narrative of your life that you desire.

The key to getting effective treatment, learning to manage your impairments, and ultimately making the most of your situation is to know the truth of your condition - whatever it might be.

couldn't have said it better myself!

And also rocking back and forth.

I have often experience flashbacks from incidents where I thought that I had behaved in a socially unacceptable way. As a child I would punch myself.

I used to bounce a ball for hours when I was younger. Now I feel comfortable rocking back and forth.

Those should be signs of autism shouldn't they?

These restricted and repetitive behaviours are traits of autism but do not define it as a whole.

Your better off talking to a psych about your issues.

you have been giving very good advice, there is nothing i can add to that.
that being said, im sorry if im hijacking topic. but i have the opposite problem, im not sure yet if i am autistic or not.

i have been in and out of therapy my whole life. i get a diagnose, then therapy doesnt help and i get another diagnose.
This is very confusing for me, because i trust their expertise. i can't blame the therapists either, because i can't express myself in words properly. i use gestures and sounds, maybe i need a deaf therapist. i can communicate normally but when it comes down to emotions i just can't.

ive read about autism, and i think it's very likely. my problem is if i tell my therapist, i am afraid that i will influence the outcome.
ive done online tests, ive read about autism so i know the right answers to give. And im afraid that maybe i just convinced myself and therefore will give those right answers. Then get a diagnose and find out later that it wasn't correct. I'm hoping to get some advice on that.

(sorry my english isn't great and thank you in advance)

I just need a road map, without autism I don't have one. All this stuff going on in my head and I don't know how to explain it to other people.

I think this thread had an interesting dynamic.

What becomes of the undiagnosed?

I'm thirty six and I have thought in a manner different from my peers my whole life. It has been and remains to be very hard to explain my actions to others.

Autism gives me that ability.

But for others on this forum, autism is something they may look on as something pathological, a disease that they wish could discard but can not.

Believe me a world without the word "autism" is not a world you want to live in.

All im saying is there are a lot of other things that could explain your issues better, heres the DSM V Criteria for ASD Autism Spectrum Disorder 299.00 (F84.0)

Diagnostic Criteria

A. Persistent deficits in social communication and social interaction across multiple contexts, as manifested by the following, currently or by history (examples are illustrative, not exhaustive, see text):

1. Deficits in social-emotional reciprocity, ranging, for example, from abnormal social approach and failure of normal back-and-forth conversation; to reduced sharing of interests, emotions, or affect; to failure to initiate or respond to social interactions.

2. Deficits in nonverbal communicative behaviors used for social interaction, ranging, for example, from poorly integrated verbal and nonverbal communication; to abnormalities in eye contact and body language or deficits in understanding and use of gestures; to a total lack of facial expressions and nonverbal communication.

3. Deficits in developing, maintaining, and understanding relationships, ranging, for example, from difficulties adjusting behavior to suit various social contexts; to difficulties in sharing imaginative play or in making friends; to absence of interest in peers.

Specify current severity:

Severity is based on social communication impairments and restricted repetitive patterns of behavior (see Table 2).

B. Restricted, repetitive patterns of behavior, interests, or activities, as manifested by at least two of the following, currently or by history (examples are illustrative, not exhaustive; see text):

1. Stereotyped or repetitive motor movements, use of objects, or speech (e.g., simple motor stereotypies, lining up toys or flipping objects, echolalia, idiosyncratic phrases).

2. Insistence on sameness, inflexible adherence to routines, or ritualized patterns or verbal nonverbal behavior (e.g., extreme distress at small changes, difficulties with transitions, rigid thinking patterns, greeting rituals, need to take same route or eat food every day).

3. Highly restricted, fixated interests that are abnormal in intensity or focus (e.g, strong attachment to or preoccupation with unusual objects, excessively circumscribed or perseverative interest).

4. Hyper- or hyporeactivity to sensory input or unusual interests in sensory aspects of the environment (e.g., apparent indifference to pain/temperature, adverse response to specific sounds or textures, excessive smelling or touching of objects, visual fascination with lights or movement).

Specify current severity:

Severity is based on social communication impairments and restricted, repetitive patterns of behavior (see Table 2).

C. Symptoms must be present in the early developmental period (but may not become fully manifest until social demands exceed limited capacities, or may be masked by learned strategies in later life).

D. Symptoms cause clinically significant impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of current functioning.

E. These disturbances are not better explained by intellectual disability (intellectual developmental disorder) or global developmental delay. Intellectual disability and autism spectrum disorder frequently co-occur; to make comorbid diagnoses of autism spectrum disorder and intellectual disability, social communication should be below that expected for general developmental level.

Note: Individuals with a well-established DSM-IV diagnosis of autistic disorder, Asperger’s disorder, or pervasive developmental disorder not otherwise specified should be given the diagnosis of autism spectrum disorder. Individuals who have marked deficits in social communication, but whose symptoms do not otherwise meet criteria for autism spectrum disorder, should be evaluated for social (pragmatic) communication disorder.

Specify if:
With or without accompanying intellectual impairment
With or without accompanying language impairment
Associated with a known medical or genetic condition or environmental factor
(Coding note: Use additional code to identify the associated medical or genetic condition.)
Associated with another neurodevelopmental, mental, or behavioral disorder
(Coding note: Use additional code[s] to identify the associated neurodevelopmental, mental, or behavioral disorder[s].)
With catatonia (refer to the criteria for catatonia associated with another mental disorder, pp. 119-120, for definition) (Coding note: Use additional code 293.89 [F06.1] catatonia associated with autism spectrum disorder to indicate the presence of the comorbid catatonia.)
Table 2 Severity levels for autism spectrum disorder

Severity level

Social communication

Restricted, repetitive behaviors

Level 3
"Requiring very substantial support”
Severe deficits in verbal and nonverbal social communication skills cause severe impairments in functioning, very limited initiation of social interactions, and minimal response to social overtures from others. For example, a person with few words of intelligible speech who rarely initiates interaction and, when he or she does, makes unusual approaches to meet needs only and responds to only very direct social approaches
Inflexibility of behavior, extreme difficulty coping with change, or other restricted/repetitive behaviors markedly interfere with functioning in all spheres. Great distress/difficulty changing focus or action.
Level 2
"Requiring substantial support”
Marked deficits in verbal and nonverbal social communication skills; social impairments apparent even with supports in place; limited initiation of social interactions; and reduced or abnormal responses to social overtures from others. For example, a person who speaks simple sentences, whose interaction is limited to narrow special interests, and how has markedly odd nonverbal communication.
Inflexibility of behavior, difficulty coping with change, or other restricted/repetitive behaviors appear frequently enough to be obvious to the casual observer and interfere with functioning in a variety of contexts. Distress and/or difficulty changing focus or action.
Level 1
"Requiring support”
Without supports in place, deficits in social communication cause noticeable impairments. Difficulty initiating social interactions, and clear examples of atypical or unsuccessful response to social overtures of others. May appear to have decreased interest in social interactions. For example, a person who is able to speak in full sentences and engages in communication but whose to- and-fro conversation with others fails, and whose attempts to make friends are odd and typically unsuccessful.
Inflexibility of behavior causes significant interference with functioning in one or more contexts. Difficulty switching between activities. Problems of organization and planning hamper independence.

Here are a list of things that can mimic Autism

Attention Deficit (Hyperactive) Disorder
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder
Borderline Personality Disorder
Schizophrenia
Nonverbal Learning Disability
Sensory Processing Disorder
Schizoid Personality Disorder
Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder
Williams Syndrome
Fragile X Syndrome
Downs Syndrome
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
Childhood Neglect & Abuse
Fetal Alcohol Syndrome
Dyslexia
Being an Introvert
Explosive Personality Disorder
Intellectual Disability
Paranoia
Dependent Personality Disorder
Dissociative Identity Disorder
Developmental Disability (not otherwise Specified)
Social Communication Disorder
Low Verbal I.Q
Generalized Anxiety Disorder
Social Phobia (anxiety Disorder)
Brain Damage
Narcissism
Avoidance Personality Disorder

The thing is not many people know how to Identify a symptom from a healthy behaviour

The best way to differenciate between "symptom" and "Behaviour" is using the MUDA Criteria

Is the behaviour..
Maladaptive? (Destructive to oneself and others)
Unjustifiable? (without rational reasoning)
Disturbing? (Troublesome for others)
Atypical? (not seen in typical people)

Last edited by ZombieBrideXD on 18 Mar 2016, 12:49 am, edited 1 time in total.

I had a few ideas: my mother, when she was alive, told me that I didn't talk until around 4-5 years. I also have my old nursery school notes when I was 3 and 4, describing my behavior: I was not talking, was engaging in various types of stimming, didn't relate to other children, etc. So a doctor told my mother that I was autistic and should be institutionalized. Fortunately my mother didn't pay attention to this doctor's advice.

Fast forward 65 years. I had learned to talk, became independent, had a career in computer programming, recently retired. Various readings and taking the AQ test told me that I might really be autistic. So I contacted the Autism Society of America and got a referral to a psychiatrist who knows about autism. I also wondered if I would be diagnosed something else (perhaps as a psychopath. ) As it turned out, it didn't take a lot of effort on her part to diagnose me as high-functioning autistic. This brought me a lot of relief.

So I would take tests such as the Autistic Quotient test and the Aspie Quiz. See what they say. Then go to a doctor who is knowledgable about autism. You'll get the answer, whatever it is.

I took the questionaire test from that Baron Cohen guy and scored as on the spectrum.

That's a pretty reasonable indication to take with you to your psychologist. The same test was actually used as part of my formal assessment here in the UK, so it seems to be reasonably respected in a professional context.

I find your rigorous copying and pasting rather bruising.

I was very "eccentric" as a kid growing up.

I tried so hard to "snap out of it" but I had three manic breakdowns throughout life.
Ones eccentricity can get stored up inside oneself and comes out at inopportune moments.

I was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder.
But I'm always "up" in that I'm talking about something that I feel passionate about very often something from one of the documentaries that I ceaselessly watch.

My personality bubbles away and this sensation I can not explain to others without some scientifically approved method.

Is there a method, is there a way, this question I ask of you.

Thank you for your time.