Do people with Asperger's never get married or have kids?

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Kitty4670
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21 Mar 2016, 2:09 pm

I guess I do want to get married afterall, I have dreams of being married, but not too much anymore. I would love someone in my life, I'm scared of being alone for the rest of my life, but I'm scared of marriage, although I am open to the idea of marriage. If I do get married, I don't want a big wedding, it was soooooo stressful when my sister got married.


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drlaugh
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22 Mar 2016, 10:50 am

I'm married to a NT.
Happily
What helps.
We choose to love each other's
Flaws and all.
We are equally yoked.
We do things together and separately

She encourages my special interest.
I had pulled back from them And my wonderful wife said you enjoy
Playing and you have that gift(as a musician)
Side note on the latter A couple of months ago I tried to keep up with a fiddler and when the song ended, my harmonica and lips were a bit bloody.


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ProfessorJohn
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22 Mar 2016, 3:57 pm

I can relate to the OP, I certainly felt that way at his age. I wanted to get married but thought it would never happen, and I had never really had a real relationship by the time I was 23. Didn't have one until I was 29. That lasted for 18 months. Then had another brief one. Then got married at 32 and have been married for 16 years. Never count yourself out. We are just really delayed socially. When you find the right person you will get to have alone time as well. I never really wanted to have kids at all, but that happened also-1 daughter-and it has turned out pretty well so far.

Just never give up if your dream is to be married. If I could get married, anyone could. It might take longer than your peers, but it can happen!



ChristianSmith
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22 Mar 2016, 4:57 pm

I'm married and it's been damn hard, but I do love my wife massively.

I have 2 children and I find them very hard at times to look after, but love them so much.

My son has Aspergers and my daughter has autism. So I find it hard to help them at times, other times I really can help them.

Over the years my wife has helped me deal with personal hygiene.
Helping to deal with my problems without the use of booze and drugs.

Anger issues. I'd be lost without her.

I dislike a lot of NTs but my wife is a perfect exception


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ProfessorJohn
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22 Mar 2016, 9:52 pm

Although I never wanted to have kids, I do think being a parent helped me in learning that life isn't all just about me. My wife is a pretty cool NT so she let me do pretty much whatever I wanted even after we were married, short of infidelity, gambling, or drugs. She might have even been ok with the gambling, but I have no interest in that.

Once my daughter arrived, my life had to center around someone else for the first time ever. I think that was a good lesson for me. I do love my daughter very much and am glad we had her, but it was an eye opening experience, that is for sure.



MarbleRye
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22 Mar 2016, 10:01 pm

I would like to get married or at least have a ltr. I dread having a wedding ceremony and I'm not so sure about kids though. I always assumed the my SO would be my best friend and we'd support each other. I don't really have a best friend right now and I'm an only child, so I don't have that much support.



CSquared29111
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26 Mar 2016, 10:39 pm

My boyfriend and I are hoping to get married in a couple of years, and we're both autistic.

I know other folks who are married with children, and are also on the spectrum too.



Billw
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18 Jul 2018, 1:25 am

My boyfriend has aspergers and he says marriage is a financial thing not something needed for a successful relationship. Is this because of his autism?



nick007
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18 Jul 2018, 2:12 am

Billw wrote:
My boyfriend has aspergers and he says marriage is a financial thing not something needed for a successful relationship. Is this because of his autism?
I don't think it has anything to do with Aspergers cuz LOTS of NT couples take relationships seriously & are living the rest of their lives together without ever getting married. There's also LOTS of NT couples who get married & then get divorced within a few years.


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isloth
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18 Jul 2018, 2:36 am

Billw wrote:
My boyfriend has aspergers and he says marriage is a financial thing not something needed for a successful relationship. Is this because of his autism?
It's quite possible that he doesn't feel or understand how emotionally important it can be for some people. Aspies can fail to understand social customs sometimes and take things literally. If you are different, you may have to come to terms with the fact that he might not process things the same way as you do, but maybe try to explain directly how you feel about it if it's different.

But yeah, like Nick said, not being a fan of marriage and kids is pretty widespread even among NT people, so it can just be a personal preference.


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whatamievendoing
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18 Jul 2018, 3:39 am

I wouldn't be opposed to a marriage, but I am in two minds about having kids. It's common knowledge that raising a child is hard work, and I'm not too sure I'd have the energy for it. That's not to say I doubt I'd be a good parent, because I do have a feeling I'd be a good role model for a potential descendant of mine. Only I have trouble seeing myself ever becoming a parent.

Granted, I do have a godson, but that's a different story.


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screen_name
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18 Jul 2018, 8:31 am

I’m married and have children. It’s absolutely something that can happen.


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So you know who just said that:
I am female, I am married
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I have significant chronic medical conditions as well


kraftiekortie
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18 Jul 2018, 8:54 am

Take a look at all the mothers and fathers here who have autism. Many, many, many!

Nice to see you, Screen Name. I've missed you.



Fnord
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18 Jul 2018, 8:56 am

MSBKyle wrote:
Do people with Asperger's never get married or have kids?
I am a married father of three.

Is this another "I can't get a girlfriend" thread?

Just asking.


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MSBKyle
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18 Jul 2018, 9:42 am

Fnord wrote:
MSBKyle wrote:
Do people with Asperger's never get married or have kids?
I am a married father of three.

Is this another "I can't get a girlfriend" thread?

Just asking.


No. I have no desire to marry or have kids. I don't want to be tied down to someone 24/7 whether it would be a spouse or kids. Most Aspies prefer alone time and being with someone all the time or being responsible for someone else can make them stressed. I'm not attracted to females. I am gay but have never been in a relationship with a guy.



guitarman2010
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27 Jul 2018, 9:29 pm

I'm on the spectrum and was married over 10 years. Thank God I never had any children with her (I have no kids at all) because it could've turned into an ugly situation. So just because you are autistic, doesn't mean you'll never get married or have kids. Love will find you when you least expect it!


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