Recently diagnosed

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Well I just wanted to say hello and introduce myself. But I am not disclosing my name. I have been dealing with this diagnosis for the last 2 years. I am 29 years old and I am tired of being lost. I learned I had aspergers while serving in the army. I was medically discharged. The only reason they found out is because that environment can stir emotions up and cause blow ups with me. Also have heavy depression. The environment of the army is a lot like high school ,which was another time that was not exactly fun for me. Since then ,I got a divorce ,been fired a couple of times ,and stuggle at school. I always hated school to. I thought people with Asperger's are extremely intelligent. I feel dumber then a rock most the time. Dont know if the diagnoses was wrong. But I must have something first add then adhd now this. Meds shoved down my throat at a early age and did through the army. Dont take them anymore they dont do a thing except give the FDA more support and have side effects I dont care for. I hate people. People either love or hate me. Mostily just hate me but yeah cant stand them either. I cant seem to figure out life. I am almost thirty and the most logical thing in my head is to commit suicide.

I hope you are getting SSI or SSDI. If not, apply, as you would definitely qualify.

Try not to be so hard on yourself. You never know, you might make some good friendships here and learn a lot about coping when you have this diagnosis.

Welcome and I hope to see you participating in the forums.

Don't commit suicide.

It's like the last thing on the list and not worth it, you served in the Army so you are due some support financially, this is a good thing.
Use the financial aid as a calm spot, a nice level piece of your life, a chance to educate yourself in the direction YOU choose.
Or just take the time to settle your thoughts.
I feel dumb as a rock at times too, I have no special talents, I can't calculate the mass of stars in my head, and fail at counting a lot because my brain wanders, and dances. I can't hold down a job either.

We are the majority here , lol.

Plus seek help if you are suicidal, I have been down that road and its not a very good one to walk down. There are people who can help and they do try and care even though I freaking hate the mental health system as a whole. I know where you coming from though, I feel like I am a complete idiot too and I still am in a lot of ways. I am far from successful or educated like most aspies and live a pretty horrible existence really. Stay strong and welcome to the forums, I hope it is of some use to you.

I struggle in school too, it's a pretty common thing for aspies. We aren't nesesarily smarter (or dumber) then everyone else, we just have different strengths and weaknesses. In the words of Einstein: "Everyone is a genious, but if you judge a fish on it's ability to climb a tree then it will live it's whole live believing it's stupid". I have definitely felt as dumb as a rock a fair number of times, but I generally try to focus on the positive. While I'm quoting people, here are a few more quotes:

"It's not that I'm so smart, I just stay with probelems longer" -Albert Einstein

"I've never met a strong person with an easy past" -Atticus (from To Kill a Mockingbird)

I like quotes, can you tell?

If you find your niche and apply your skills then you can do great things, the number of possibilities and potential futures you are confronted with each day is beyond imagination. I know I bring up Einstein a lot, but he is believed to have autism and he too had a divorce and quite a hard life, he even got quite depressed sometimes. Don't loose hope

Please, please don't kill yourself. Find a doctor or therapist who knows about autism/Asperger's. Myself, I contacted the Autism Society of America. They sent me a list of local doctors/therapists who know about the autism spectrum. I found a wonderful psychiatrist who formally diagnosed me and now I'm engaged in a course of therapy with her, just to help myself deal with the fact that I'm autistic.

I would apply for disability so you can get Medicaid or Medicare.

Get a doctor. If you are thinking it, it is important to get help immediately. There has to be a hotline and they will take you in. They will work with you.

Do, it please. I've been there. Twice. It's a miracle I'm alive.

That was 23 and 36 years ago. I gained so much from being alive. I found a son I did not know I had with teen and preteen grandchildren. My daughter had a baby, now two years ago.

There is so much ahead that you just never know.