Did you ever notice that people foist their beliefs on you?

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zkydz
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23 Mar 2016, 4:01 pm

I'm pretty sure I do it too. But I was just outside getting my mail and saw the landlord. As I came up the stairs, the sun was right in my eyes.

I'm very light sensitive. I always wear a black hat to shield and stop the light from bouncing around.

As I turned the corner I said that it was really bright. My landlord said:
"You need to get out in the sun more. You're turning into a vampire."

I know that people mean well, but I avoid the sun for a reason. Sometimes the light can give me migraines.


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pcuser
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23 Mar 2016, 4:06 pm

I've noticed. Most are called Christians...



zkydz
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23 Mar 2016, 4:14 pm

pcuser wrote:
I've noticed. Most are called Christians...
Yeah...not gonna accept that. I call BS. I've lived a great deal of time in and around foreign cultures. They all do it.

And quite frankly, the atheist movement is getting just as dogmatic and forceful as the religious right.


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kraftiekortie
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23 Mar 2016, 5:08 pm

Yep....that's the Human Condition. People want to force their values upon you, so you'll become more like them.

That's an inevitable part of life. All you have to do is stick to your guns.

You don't have to tell the landlord why you don't particularly care for the sun. As long as you pay your rent on time.



Maple78
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23 Mar 2016, 5:19 pm

Do you know....I have sometimes wondered if this is a form of politeness, a way of trying to just start a conversation, say something in passing, a little "chuckle"/joke.....I don't like it, but when people say stuff like this to me usually they don't seem to have a hostile intent, I find it very pushy, even rude/annoying. My husband explained to me that unless I have reason to think the person is a jerk, they are just being conversational, which often has nothing to do with what is actually said. Also, sometimes people just say stupid things that they might even regret later if they even thought about it - I think a lot of people aren't thinking very much about what they are even saying.



pcuser
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23 Mar 2016, 5:30 pm

zkydz wrote:
pcuser wrote:
I've noticed. Most are called Christians...
Yeah...not gonna accept that. I call BS. I've lived a great deal of time in and around foreign cultures. They all do it.

And quite frankly, the atheist movement is getting just as dogmatic and forceful as the religious right.

It was mostly a joke. I have a brother who is a right wing religious fundamentalist who used to foist his ideas and beliefs on me, or try to. I finally had to cut him out of my life. I also, though less intensively, dislike how many Christians try to put their beliefs into law to force the rest of us to conform to their beliefs. As for being an atheist, I never try to force my beliefs on anyone else. I'd also say that few atheists do. They fight back against the Christians who demonize atheists. Don't even try to deny that as all the polls show that...



QuillAlba
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23 Mar 2016, 5:34 pm

Bloody vegans.



Aristophanes
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23 Mar 2016, 5:44 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
Yep....that's the Human Condition. People want to force their values upon you, so you'll become more like them.

And we can add pack instinct to that-- the more like them you are the more in control they feel and thus safer.



zkydz
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23 Mar 2016, 5:47 pm

pcuser wrote:
zkydz wrote:
pcuser wrote:
I've noticed. Most are called Christians...
Yeah...not gonna accept that. I call BS. I've lived a great deal of time in and around foreign cultures. They all do it.

And quite frankly, the atheist movement is getting just as dogmatic and forceful as the religious right.

It was mostly a joke. I have a brother who is a right wing religious fundamentalist who used to foist his ideas and beliefs on me, or try to. I finally had to cut him out of my life. I also, though less intensively, dislike how many Christians try to put their beliefs into law to force the rest of us to conform to their beliefs. As for being an atheist, I never try to force my beliefs on anyone else. I'd also say that few atheists do. They fight back against the Christians who demonize atheists. Don't even try to deny that as all the polls show that...
Don't know where you're from, but the militant atheist movement is growing. Basically to the point of becoming a belief system in itself and completely intolerant of any religion.

I took no umbrage with the landlord. It just made me ponder. Sort of musing how I do absolutely everything for a reason and those reasons seem to run counter to prevailing social mores. Now, I must ponder Maple78's question about polite invitation to conversation.

Basically trying to make sense of a world that I did not know I did not understand.


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kraftiekortie
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23 Mar 2016, 5:50 pm

To be honest, I would maintain friendly relations with the landlord.

The landlord might think you're a little eccentric. Don't confirm this belief by being unfriendly. I'm glad you're taking the high road with this.

But you don't have to do what you don't want to do. And it's none of the landlord's business how you live your life, as long as you live decently.



mikeman7918
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23 Mar 2016, 5:58 pm

pcuser wrote:
I've noticed. Most are called Christians...


I'm a Christian. I personally oppose same sex mariage, but do you see me telling the homosexual members of this forum how to live their lives? I am actually in favor of same sex mariage being legal because I believe in seperation of church and state. While I'm breaking steriotypes: I also accept that evolution is a thing, the big bang happened, and I am open to the posibility that my religion is wrong. My point is that you are generalizing which is a logical fallacy for a reason.


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Maple78
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23 Mar 2016, 6:00 pm

Haha....so the way I found out about this was that I used to give rides to an elderly man who couldn't drive. I stopped after he wasn't well enough to leave his nursing home anymore. Since that time, people often started a conversation with me asking about how this elderly guy was, or if I had seen him, etc. It really annoyed me, since I am not in contact with this man, I don't know how he's doing, etc (not to sound like a jerk, but I really wasn't), and I hated always having to talk about how I don't know what's going on in his life (I stopped driving him years ago). I kept thinking, "If they're so interested, why on earth don't they just pick up the phone and calling him to see how he's doing? Why don't they visit him themselves?" My husband then explained to me that they were just trying to find common ground to start a light conversation: this was the only thing these people really knew about me, so that was the starting point they were jumping from. They weren't truly seeking for me to provide an update on him, but rather they just wanted to get me talking a little, just chit-chat about whatever topic we might get to after the obligatory opening. OR, it was just a friendly conversational acknowledgement of seeing me, like a greeting beyond "hello". Totally surprised me - but since then, I have noticed this same phenomenon with other topics. And I feel less annoyed when I think of it that way. Now that these same people know more about me, they no longer start conversations asking me about the elderly man, because they have more common ground to jump from.



Last edited by Maple78 on 23 Mar 2016, 6:05 pm, edited 1 time in total.

kraftiekortie
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23 Mar 2016, 6:05 pm

I sense that the landlord might think that the OP is a shut-in, and wants the OP to "get out more."

I sense that the OP is a likeable fellow, so I don't think the relationship will ever get bad.

The OP takes slight umbrage with people imposing their value systems upon him.

I guess he's trying to figure out why people want to impose their value system upon other people.



slenkar
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23 Mar 2016, 6:06 pm

I think it was an innocent comment,
He probably thought you looked unhealthy and it disturbed him enough to comment on it



kraftiekortie
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23 Mar 2016, 6:07 pm

I sort of think along those lines, too.



zkydz
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23 Mar 2016, 6:11 pm

That's what I mean. In a situation like that (Referring to what Maple78 said) I would have just said I did not know and just keep moving on. It's happened before and I've been called stuck up or a snob.

Now, between the fact that I will go from just a quick answer and move on to the extreme opposite, just start blabbing and not know when to stop, I get very lost and self conscious.

As for the NTs being able to pick up on things and seem to have a common way of doing things, well, it strikes me like some sort of telepathy. "What's the frequency Kenneth?"

I don't hate it. I just don't understand it.

As for the landlord, they're Chinese. All they want, when it gets down to it, is the rent. This is the second time that I've had Chinese landlords. The wife causes problems. Big fights. At first they think it's the 'Guai Lo' being racist. Then when she's gone and they get the rent, utilities and all is quiet and I make no problems, they wind up liking me.

I bank of people's inherent greed to work for me in this instance.


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