Late diagnosis changes everything...
inmydreams
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: 17 Feb 2014
Gender: Female
Posts: 56
Location: Nr Oxford, UK
I'd be really interested to know how people have responded to their diagnoses if they came quite late.
Mine was in my early forties and previously I had worked really hard to be like everyone else, whilst always feeling different, and beat myself up for not being as *able* despite having the intelligence etc...
Now I wonder where my real strengths and weaknesses lie and what I could do about them. How I can adjust my life to fit with the *real* me... I'd be really interested to know what other people have done with their new-found knowledge...
Hi,
How did you find out why you are different? Did you diagnose yourself first? I diagnosed myself by coinsidence when I was 37 and a half. 5 months later it was confirmed during the assesment.
I think I need to change my career. I was always very logical and good with information but somehow ended up working in social care... partly due to circumstances, partly due to the fact that I decided this kind of job will help me to improve my social skills.
I also understood that I need to put more effort to communicate in relationships, even if I don't know how to go about it, it's better to try and say something that is not perfect than to pretend that everything is fine.
Hope you are feeling ok now?
It's still very much "sinking in" for me after diagnosis a couple of months ago at 45 y.o.
The most positive aspect for me has been reviewing the events of my life before now. In particular those events that for many years I have, as you say, "beaten myself up" for. I am learning to be kind to myself, and find "forgiveness" for the self-hatred that for so long kept me mired in depression. My counsellor has been wonderful, and has reassured me that making peace with my past is the best first step to take before stressing myself out about the future.
_________________
When you are fighting an invisible monster, first throw a bucket of paint over it.
inmydreams
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: 17 Feb 2014
Gender: Female
Posts: 56
Location: Nr Oxford, UK
[quote="carbonmonoxide"]Hi,
How did you find out why you are different? ...
I sensed something was different about me from very earlry on but it's taken til recently, seeing patterns emerging in relationships and reading about Asperger's because of my mother that made me think - "this sounds exaclty like me". I then went to my GP who referred me and I saw a Psychiatrist who confirmed that I'm 'definitely on the spectrum'. I've read that a lot of ASD females self-diagnose at around 40 and then seek an assessment to have it confirmed.
What do you think you might change to, career-wise?
And I am feeling calmer, thanks for asking. I was having a panic attack earlier and it's so hard when you're on your own I find - I can't calm myself down. My puppy came and lay on me and licked my face (which he never does) and that helped massively too
What do you think you might change to, career-wise?
And I am feeling calmer, thanks for asking. I was having a panic attack earlier and it's so hard when you're on your own I find - I can't calm myself down. My puppy came and lay on me and licked my face (which he never does) and that helped massively too
I was in IT... ages ago. That's all a long story I am still waiting for my diagnosis in writing, when I get it, I want to join one of those government programs that help disabled people with employment. I'm thinkig about training as an accountant, although I want to be sure it's the right choice. I tried so many careers that I thought I'd be good at that I'm really fed up. I was very good with maths and pysics when I was at school and people kept telling me I could do whatever I want to and have a great career if I only improve my people skills
What about you? Did you always wanted to paint? I do a bit of art as well, but not portraits.
I was diagnosed at 40, and it helped me a lot with the self-blame.
It makes perfect sense that an autistic person would have struggled with the problems I've had all my life, and it makes zero sense that an NT would fail as badly as I did, for no reason whatsoever. So I've learned to forgive myself for basically blundering my way through life, not understanding the world around me, or how to cope with it.
These days I choose an approach that works for me, and I'm a lot happier, even if I'm not 'normal'!
After having researched myself and autism for 19 months before my August 2015 diagnosis, I was unfazed by the result ... until, one by one, each of my characteristics resurfaced (as they are expected to do) and caused me to relive and re-examine each in turn. I have learned that there is little I can do to change or mitigate many of my characteristics. Still, at this point in my life, several of my characteristics have been managed well throughout my life.
_________________
Diagnosed in 2015 with ASD Level 1 by the University of Utah Health Care Autism Spectrum Disorder Clinic using the ADOS-2 Module 4 assessment instrument [11/30] -- Screened in 2014 with ASD by using the University of Cambridge Autism Research Centre AQ (Adult) [43/50]; EQ-60 for adults [11/80]; FQ [43/135]; SQ (Adult) [130/150] self-reported screening inventories -- Assessed since 1978 with an estimated IQ [≈145] by several clinicians -- Contact on WrongPlanet.net by private message (PM)
ASPartOfMe
Veteran
Joined: 25 Aug 2013
Age: 66
Gender: Male
Posts: 34,404
Location: Long Island, New York
It partially or totally explained nearly every major event in my life. It told me there were others out there with the same core traits. It explained to me that a lot of my problems were not charactor flaws but a matter of bieng born that way.
I look back on it as a 2nd birthday.
_________________
Professionally Identified and joined WP August 26, 2013
DSM 5: Autism Spectrum Disorder, DSM IV: Aspergers Moderate Severity
It is Autism Acceptance Month
“My autism is not a superpower. It also isn’t some kind of god-forsaken, endless fountain of suffering inflicted on my family. It’s just part of who I am as a person”. - Sara Luterman
Hi. Diagnosed 2 months ago by a psychiatrist who was very pleasant. I chose to go private (uk) as i have a little boy and wanted no records on computer file that might be linked to me or him after Google get their hands on the rest of the NHS files one day. Unnecessarily paranoid i know. If my little boys grows up like me then i'll get him any help he needs.
My curiosity was roused after seeing how amazingly and impeccably a house had been tidied that i'm helping to renovate, by someone i was told had asperger's. Apparently she simply had to tidy it after she visited to drop something off. I've never met her, but i know she's a head teacher with 2 autistic sons.
So very typically of me i Googled asperger's and quickly found the ASQ test. I scored 39 and set about finding someone to talk to about this. The Psychiatrist chatted to me for about an hour and discussed the results of the tests which included an empathy test too. Diagnosis ' Autistic Personality Traits - non disorder '.
Well i'm 42 and have had a very bumpy ride through life, i've just finished reading my 9th book about Austism/Aspergers so finally have some answers about the bumps.
The bumps being : Bullied at school, Speaking the truth all too often, fleeting eye contact, speech impediment, anxiety, poor social ability, working 20 yrs in a job where i lead a team every day and hate every minute of it, boring people to death, constantly interrupting, poor short term memory, all my friends were the nerds at school.
The benefits being : Being fab at DIY and never leaving a job unfinished, poor social ability so i get on with useful things rather than wasting my time chit chatting and going out, making sure everyone in my team at work does the job absolutely right,i can give the clearest verbal instructions of anyone i know, being on time every time, never wasting money-everything i buy is completely researched.
The thing that's taking longest to figure out though is knowing now that i've been thinking differently all this time. My whole perception is shaped differently from NTs. The world i see, hear, touch, taste and smell is not the world that NTs percieve. The Autistic Brain -Temple Grandin helps to explain some of this. I've spent my whole life acting to fit in and now i'm trying to figure out what the real me is like without the acting. I've never not acted before.
Heyho that's my disjointed rant over for now.
Take care
My professional diagnosis came in my late 20s.
Who'd ever thought a simple label would explain all my lifelong suffering in attempting to explain to myself what was wrong with me?
And all it took was a total psychological breakdown that resulted in my entire perception of existence being annhilated like an empire crumbling before ones own eyes.
ASPartOfMe
Veteran
Joined: 25 Aug 2013
Age: 66
Gender: Male
Posts: 34,404
Location: Long Island, New York
Heyho that's my disjointed rant over for now.
Take care
This has been the hardest part for me also. It took a long time to bury your true autistic self so it is going to take time "unbury" the real you. The advice I can give is just let your autistic brain do what it needs to do to heal itself.
_________________
Professionally Identified and joined WP August 26, 2013
DSM 5: Autism Spectrum Disorder, DSM IV: Aspergers Moderate Severity
It is Autism Acceptance Month
“My autism is not a superpower. It also isn’t some kind of god-forsaken, endless fountain of suffering inflicted on my family. It’s just part of who I am as a person”. - Sara Luterman
Biscuitman
Veteran
Joined: 11 Mar 2013
Age: 44
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,665
Location: Dunking jammy dodgers
37 years old, was diagnosed 4 days ago.
Right now it feels like it is sinking in in a nice way. I have always given myself such a hard time over being such a 'failure' and for the past 96 hours I sort of feel a little better about it, as if the quirks are just me, so hey ho.
I do really want a new career though and maybe this could help me focus more on where I could go from here. Problem is I am genuinely useless at everything!
I was diagnosed two years ago when I was 37. It basically came out of the blue, I hadn't heard much about autism before. It took a while to sink in, but it has really opened up a new perspective for me. So much in my past life now seems to make sense and to appear logical. I'm trying to focus on the positive aspects of it all rather than the negatives. I'm still at the very beginning, but right now I feel more comfortable being me and I think a lot of it has to do with my diagnosis.
Incidentally I have recently written a short piece reflecting on the first two years after my diagnosis. If you're interested, you can read it here:
https://medium.com/@OuterSpaceBoy/every ... .qof7wa1qq
When I read this on the old OASIS website...
By definition, those with AS have a normal IQ and many individuals (although not all), exhibit exceptional skill or talent in a specific area. Because of their high degree of functionality and their naiveté, those with AS are often viewed as eccentric or odd and can easily become victims of teasing and bullying. While language development seems, on the surface, normal, individuals with AS often have deficits in pragmatics and prosody. Vocabularies may be extraordinarily rich and some children sound like "little professors." However, persons with AS can be extremely literal and have difficulty using language in a social context.
was moment I realized I was on the spectrum and I could feel all the weight of the world coming off my shoulders. It was the most elated and incredible sense of exhilaration I've ever felt. I had to lay down in my bed my head was spinning so fast. Thats how it felt for me to finally and suddenly have my life make sense, It took about three months for that feeling to settle back down to normalcy.
And with a whole new perspective to look at things, it felt like I was re-discovering the world around me, bit-by-bit, day-by-day.
_________________
I live my life to prove wrong those who said I couldn't make it in life...
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