BBC Drama: The A Word. Your Thoughts?

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Wondering how many people have watched 'The A Word', a BBC 6 drama about a 5 year old boy with autism (Joe) and how his family cope with the diagnosis.

I really enjoyed it - the little boy who plays Joe did a superb job, in my opinion. There are a few unnecessary extra bits of drama in my opinion (the uncle's wife had an affair). I've seen a review which has suggested that it was very unrealistic for the grandfather to be able to get an appointment with out the parents so quickly, but my understanding was that he'd "misunderstood" about getting an appointment - as far as I can tell, he didn't get an appointment at all but realised that the specialist had already seen Joe when the therapist came into the waiting room to explain that there wasn't a vacancy.

It did make me cry at the end because I could remember my own parents being... difficult when I was diagnosed with hearing loss. I remember them rowing about who's fault and stupid tests to prove I didn't have a problem that failed miserably. Lots of denial from the parents.

So, it's not necessarily a positive start - it well reflects the difficulties some parents have adjusting but it's clear from the specialist that she doesn't want them to have a negative view of it.

Joe is a "musical genius" as described by his parents, but I think it's more accurate to say that Joe knows the lyrics to many songs and his communication is based on them. There's some very warming scenes when his parents communicate with him by taking turns with song lyrics.

The psychologist says that he uses music to escape the environment which is true with his headphones, but he also uses it to connect in my opinion. There's some very timely lines from him, such as when his family are arguing about him having autism and the damage of labelling when he walks away saying "Just shut your mouth, put your head back in the clouds and shut your mouth."

I've seen some parents of autistic children complain that Joe isn't autistic enough but I don't agree.

I watched this yesterday.

Personally, I really liked it. I think he's a 'good level' of autistic for the TV show, in that we have so many portrayals (in dramas and documentaries) of 'more autistic' people that we really need someone like Joe to show that not all people with autism are rocking backwards and forwards in a corner, silently staring ahead, with physical traits such as teeth constantly on show - the things that make some people believe that you can see who has autism just by looking at them. For many people that is a valid portrayal, but we have so much of that - it helps to see that many autistic people do speak, do make eye contact and don't 'look autistic'.

This is a hot topic in my house at the moment. I self-diagnose as having Asperger's and my husband is very accepting and understanding of that, to the point where he didn't look into it and what it meant for me or make a 'big deal' out of it. But I know that his experiences of autism will be very media-led. I watched the show with him in the room and he was very interested in it - particularly the escape into music, which is typical of me, when most autistic people are presented as being sound-averse - and the lines around 'he can't be autistic, he talks and makes eye contact', which I think help to show that not all people with autism are locked in their own world. I'm very much in this one, I'm just not that great at being here!

It was a valuable talking point for us, particularly as I've just recently decided (after saying that I wouldn't) to seek a formal diagnosis - it's these representations of a less 'obvious' autistic people that can provide confidence to those of us that don't seem like the usual media portrayal, that we're not going to look absolutely ridiculous explaining to people that we believe we do have autism.

We've also been discussing what would happen if our daughter were diagnosed in the future. Husband was shocked and angry about how the parents in the show reacted - he outright said that he'd never act like that, and that he can't believe anyone really does. I said I could imagine that a lot of parents really are like that. Another good conversation to have, though - I think many people, with experience of autism and without, will have come away from that thinking 'How could those parents behave like that? It doesn't change who Joe is'.

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I'm the only one who commented about seeing it though. I wasn't particularly impressed, but then I was probably focussing on the things about it that pissed me off too much. It was enjoyable enough I suppose.

I'm probably not going to watch it.

I don't want to spend hours on another slice of life documentary. I don't want to watch the struggles of another family, or coo over another adorable, gifted, very frustrated child. I'm just going to get frustrated if I do that.

I want understanding, and I want solutions. I want ways that the people who matter can learn to meet me halfway, or ways that I can meet them all the way without turning myself into an unperson in the interest of suppressing all signs and traits.

In America it is slated to air on the Sundance channel during the summer.

My guess about myself is that I'm somewhere between aspie and NT, but not entirely both. Anyway, I watched it. I enjoyed it. While I think that we need to have more media portraying what it's like to be autistic, it was very good.

Oddly enough, it actually helped me understand my (presumably NT) mother most. I used to wander a bit when I was a kid, like the boy. Now I get why Mum was so worried about my social integration and social skills and table manners, even though there has never been any official diagnosis and only one near miss (we got to the first interview and questionnaire, never picked up after that). Now I understand, in a (slightly) more subjective way, that Mum was concerned for my future.

I watched this; it was okay. I thought the boy's performance in the role seemed very well portrayed. While as a kid I was more communicative than this character, I was actually as intense about music as he was, obsessed with listening and learning every word and knowing all the songs intimately. Music was my entire world the same way as for this character, so I related to that much quite strongly.

I also related to the mother being resistant to anyone investigating him. My mother was very stubborn about nobody suggesting any "different" approaches with me or any other form of closer inspection of my psyche. I know very little except that my mother admitted to me years ago that teachers spoke to my parents regularly about me; she only said it was something about being "gifted" but I suspect that was the gilded version. I don't know the truth about my childhood or if anyone knew anything then. She was very head-in-the-sand about both my issues and my "gifts" the same way the mother in this show was. It was painful to see this portrayed as a parental reaction even now in 2016. I'm not surprised by my mother being this way in the 1960s but to think someone might still deny things now is sad.

THE A Word – BBC1’s acclaimed drama about a bright young boy with autism – returns this week for a second series.

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