A question for those who know a lot of people...

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jackinblack
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04 Apr 2016, 7:43 am

Well it's not the most pleasant, easy, universal and relaxing kind of music to most people. What I like in it is the rhythm, fast drums and breakdowns but others probably prefer subtle tones and subtle changes in a song.

One of the mistakes I have made over the years I gradually turned the volume down and finally stopped listening to the music, but in fact I should have just changed the girlfriend - because my music taste, unlike all other affairs, never changed



nerdygirl
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04 Apr 2016, 4:06 pm

I don't like metal, but when we met my husband was a metal head. He still likes it and will listen to it from time to time. Yes, there is a sort of "rebellious", go-against-the-grain, screw-the-status-quo mentality that is associated with metal. But I could not have been with someone who was all in line with the status quo. Maybe it's not my type of music, but I certainly didn't stop him from listening. He has always made his own choices with his music, and there are some things we both like and some things that are individual tastes.

I think the important thing is not whether a girl likes metal. She doesn't have to listen to it all the time! The problem is if she tries to change you and make you stop listening to it. Of course, it is nice to not ALWAYS listen to it when she is around...try some other music as well you both can enjoy.

I, myself, was into Gamelan music and free jazz when I met my husband, so we both were not mainstream by any stretch. That is part of what drew us together.

We laugh now and I say that my husband's interest in the avant-garde is what made him like me. :)



Whispers
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04 Apr 2016, 5:16 pm

Totally agree nerdygirl. What I meant about "narrow minded people". You are not!

And this is for those who say that metal is aggressive or fast or whatever. Metal is much more things as well. See video below :) (and by the way: these guys are not so young any more. I saw them live recently and I loved it). Beautiful doom metal :heart:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nOdnOUnrLIw


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04 Apr 2016, 5:58 pm

Well such is the struggles of being a metalhead...though maybe you don't take it as far as identifying as a metalhead, I do though. To be fair listening to metal or being a metalhead is off-putting to a lot of people particularly squares and yuppies and top 20 hits followers or people who find it too dark and scary.

But yeah don't give up the music you love for some girl, try and find one who shares appreciation for it as well. I mean one of the main things that made me initially interested in my current boyfriend is that he's into metal...don't think I could stand being with someone who I couldn't enjoy music with due to them not liking what I listen to. Point is though there are certainly females who are into metal, who want to date guys who also like it. Its possible there are more males into metal than females but if you put it out their you're into metal and looking for a girl who's also into metal you should have some luck. Not sure if at all use online dating sites...but with that you could express on your profile you're into metal and keep your eye out for any females that talk about metal on their profile and message them.

I do know a fair amount of people, but most people I know don't see anything wrong with listening to metal...as they are all at least somewhat counter-cultury or interesting in some other way and don't have a problem with counter cultury people.


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04 Apr 2016, 6:11 pm

Perhaps it's how you're playing it, not what you're playing?

You mentioned 'mobile device'. Two things:

- Not in public. Not everyone wants to listen to your music. That's what earphones are for. It doesn't matter if someone's playing my favourite music - if it's on a train, in a shop, walking down the street, out loud, I'll dislike you.

- Not on a mobile device, please. Give the sound the respect it deserves. Someone's put effort into making that - who wants to hear loud metal music through a tinny mobile speaker?



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04 Apr 2016, 8:07 pm

QuillAlba wrote:
Fnord wrote:
cthulhuhead wrote:
Why is listening to metal so off-putting to almost every female?
It's loud, it's noisy, and much of its lyrics contain nihilistic, depressive, and/or violent imagery.
Someone should really ban you for being negative.
What do you mean? I am positive that metal music is loud, noisy, and that much of its lyrics contain nihilistic, depressive, and/or violent imagery.


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04 Apr 2016, 9:33 pm

Fnord wrote:
QuillAlba wrote:
Fnord wrote:
cthulhuhead wrote:
Why is listening to metal so off-putting to almost every female?
It's loud, it's noisy, and much of its lyrics contain nihilistic, depressive, and/or violent imagery.
Someone should really ban you for being negative.
What do you mean? I am positive that metal music is loud, noisy, and that much of its lyrics contain nihilistic, depressive, and/or violent imagery.


The more I listen to my husband talk about metal, the more I am amazed. He actually learned a tremendous amount of history listening to metal. Like I said, the music is not my cup of tea. I *cannot* take the whiny guitars, though I don't mind heavy distortion... But, there can be a lot of richness to the lyrics. It depends on the band/song. I also remember enjoying some of the ballads that were performed by bands whose other pieces I found distasteful. It's not all terrible. Same with rap.

I am a musician. Just about everyone asks me what my favorite type of music is or if there's anything I hate. I say over and over I go song by song, piece by piece. I can't categorically denounce anything.



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05 Apr 2016, 4:06 am

Fnord wrote:
QuillAlba wrote:
Fnord wrote:
cthulhuhead wrote:
Why is listening to metal so off-putting to almost every female?
It's loud, it's noisy, and much of its lyrics contain nihilistic, depressive, and/or violent imagery.
Someone should really ban you for being negative.
What do you mean? I am positive that metal music is loud, noisy, and that much of its lyrics contain nihilistic, depressive, and/or violent imagery.


Not really anymore loud than any other music that isn't classical acoustic instruments maybe, depends on how high one decides to turn up the volume. Granted there is plenty of lyrics containing those kinds of themes but its certainly not limited to that.


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nerdygirl
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05 Apr 2016, 5:12 am

Sweetleaf wrote:
Fnord wrote:
QuillAlba wrote:
Fnord wrote:
cthulhuhead wrote:
Why is listening to metal so off-putting to almost every female?
It's loud, it's noisy, and much of its lyrics contain nihilistic, depressive, and/or violent imagery.
Someone should really ban you for being negative.
What do you mean? I am positive that metal music is loud, noisy, and that much of its lyrics contain nihilistic, depressive, and/or violent imagery.


Not really anymore loud than any other music that isn't classical acoustic instruments maybe, depends on how high one decides to turn up the volume. Granted there is plenty of lyrics containing those kinds of themes but its certainly not limited to that.


Even classical music can get extremely loud. My issue with metal is not the loudness, but the timbre of the guitar, and sometimes the vocals. Too high, too whiny. I don't like violins, either, so my issue with that kind of timbre is not limited to metal. If the metal music is not "piercing", I can tolerate it.



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05 Apr 2016, 5:28 am

To give more answer to the OPs question...

Most people are ignorant about any kind of music that is not mainstream.

Part of the reason why metal is off-putting is because, musically, it can be unsettling. So it requires a lot of thought to get past that. It's different, not really peaceful in terms of allowing a listener to relax, and it is not easily digestible in a cognitive sense. It is much easier to say "eeww" and look down on the person listening to it.

Many other types of music get the same reaction, like what I mentioned above myself - gamelan and free jazz. Most people would have a similar reaction to that.

In classical music, it's Schoenberg and the rest of the 2nd Viennese school and many other 20th C composers. People don't like that because it's not easy listening.

Most people do not like music for music's sake. They like how it makes them feel/what it does to them. Most people only want music to help them relax. Relaxation and not disrupting the peace are paramount. Music that challenges, by nature, is not relaxing. You have to work your brain to listen, and sometimes even your body can feel a little agitated listening to some types of music.

Even people who like some non-mainstream music won't like certain things, like metal. I am an example. But I can specifically *why* I don't like metal because I've thought about it. And I don't attack the genre because it is not about that, it is about my physical reaction to those guitars.

People who complain only about the supposed content of metal lyrics really aren't examining the lyrics of all types of music. Plenty of pop music is pretty nasty. And plenty of classical music is, too. We just don't know it all because it's in German or Italian or some other language we may not know, and the people are singing it in a fashion that blurs it. Plenty of opera has some *horrific* story lines which can make many R rated movies seem tame. Just because they don't show as much on stage as a movie can doesn't mean it's family friendly! And just like all music can include some great ideas, so can metal.



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05 Apr 2016, 5:36 am

I listen to metal a lot but I never understood people who believe because I listen to metal I can't listen to anything else? I listen to all sorts. Can't stand rap and hip hop though just find it very annoying.


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05 Apr 2016, 5:38 am

Also if I do go to a night club it will always be somewhere that plays metal... but preferably they actually play a mix of music. So wish Jilly's hadn't closed in Manchester you could get a mix in there.


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05 Apr 2016, 5:44 am

Use earphones, like many women do.



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05 Apr 2016, 6:12 am

Fnord wrote:
QuillAlba wrote:
Fnord wrote:
cthulhuhead wrote:
Why is listening to metal so off-putting to almost every female?
It's loud, it's noisy, and much of its lyrics contain nihilistic, depressive, and/or violent imagery.
Someone should really ban you for being negative.
What do you mean? I am positive that metal music is loud, noisy, and that much of its lyrics contain nihilistic, depressive, and/or violent imagery.


And of course you don't get nihilistic, depressive or violent imagery in the lyrics in any other genres. :)



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05 Apr 2016, 6:19 am

Dwarvyn wrote:
Fnord wrote:
QuillAlba wrote:
Fnord wrote:
cthulhuhead wrote:
Why is listening to metal so off-putting to almost every female?
It's loud, it's noisy, and much of its lyrics contain nihilistic, depressive, and/or violent imagery.
Someone should really ban you for being negative.
What do you mean? I am positive that metal music is loud, noisy, and that much of its lyrics contain nihilistic, depressive, and/or violent imagery.
And of course you don't get nihilistic, depressive, or violent imagery in the lyrics in any other genres.
That's why most of the music I listen to has no lyrics.


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nor any ultimate evaluation of human nature beyond that which we project onto others,
individuals should be judged or defined only by their actions and choices,
and not by what we only imagine their intentions and motivations to be.


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05 Apr 2016, 11:15 am

nerdygirl wrote:
To give more answer to the OPs question...

Most people are ignorant about any kind of music that is not mainstream.

Part of the reason why metal is off-putting is because, musically, it can be unsettling. So it requires a lot of thought to get past that. It's different, not really peaceful in terms of allowing a listener to relax, and it is not easily digestible in a cognitive sense. It is much easier to say "eeww" and look down on the person listening to it.

Many other types of music get the same reaction, like what I mentioned above myself - gamelan and free jazz. Most people would have a similar reaction to that.

In classical music, it's Schoenberg and the rest of the 2nd Viennese school and many other 20th C composers. People don't like that because it's not easy listening.

Most people do not like music for music's sake. They like how it makes them feel/what it does to them. Most people only want music to help them relax. Relaxation and not disrupting the peace are paramount. Music that challenges, by nature, is not relaxing. You have to work your brain to listen, and sometimes even your body can feel a little agitated listening to some types of music.

Even people who like some non-mainstream music won't like certain things, like metal. I am an example. But I can specifically *why* I don't like metal because I've thought about it. And I don't attack the genre because it is not about that, it is about my physical reaction to those guitars.

People who complain only about the supposed content of metal lyrics really aren't examining the lyrics of all types of music. Plenty of pop music is pretty nasty. And plenty of classical music is, too. We just don't know it all because it's in German or Italian or some other language we may not know, and the people are singing it in a fashion that blurs it. Plenty of opera has some *horrific* story lines which can make many R rated movies seem tame. Just because they don't show as much on stage as a movie can doesn't mean it's family friendly! And just like all music can include some great ideas, so can metal.


I find a lot of metal to be relaxing, certainly not all of it....but 'relaxation' isn't the only thing I desire from music listening to some less relaxing and more energetic metal is great for doing stuff around the house or just to kind of get myself going in the morning.

I can see having trouble with frequency of sound though, if that bothers you not much you can do to get around it. I have certainly heard some music where the frequency of the vocals or instruments bothers me so I can sort of understand that however I've never had that issue with metal.


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