My journey to Reno and a Mystical? journey

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I started this particular journey on instinct.
My instinct has always been my best ally.
It has saved me from darker places, and
brought mystical journey's in their stead.
I say this because, when go on a journey
by instinct their is some validation for it
as I let events take their course.

I started subconscious journey's around
15 and I knew I was different, but wasn't
sure why? how? I just knew.

I was living in Sunnyvale, California at
that time, and hated the place, or
BOOORRRRINNG! I would think this
when I lived their.

Between ages 15-25 my Rocky horror
period was one strange, mystical journey.
The luxory of being a outsider looking
in at wicca, candle burnings, drug abusers,
alcaholics before they even reached 21.
I on the hand was the odd ball out of
freaks and the forebarrer of change and
sometimes the doom of others.

Their use to be times of subconscious
guidance, hence forth the mystical
journey. I feel a strong, compelling
urge of getting up and going somewhere
unspecific, and the more I fought it
the more I felt tugged to get their.

Here's my example, since I have
too numerous ones to explain.
I am hanging at the Varsity Theatre
in Palo Alto. Ooh! how they hated
me. I would be ignored as they
talked about their sexual exploits,
latest band and drugs. The wiccans
also hated me, but I didn't know
why until later on one of these
journey's.

I am feeling a late night urge to
go to the Varsity and a tug(invisible)
upon by being and chest leads the way.
I am entranced and upon arrival the
wiccans ask me why I am here
(since these appearances in this
state meant drastic changes in my
and their lives) and I say nothing.
I see a newby and look at this
15 year old and his spirit didn't
match his age. I hand him my
pentacle and he kissses my
hand and say's "your job is
done-Go Now!" and snaps out of this
space or zone. Whammmm!
Zoooom! I am pushed out of
that space by this invisible force
and never set foo their again.

I start off with a urge to distance myself
from where I was. This would seem
natural since I have feeling to sort out and
a neutral space separate of your regular
dwellings is appropriate. I am 38 and no longer
15 so these intuitive journey's aren't as intense
and no tugging is required.

5/20/05'.........
I complete my 6:30-8am shift. I have a bank
run by 4pm. I am feeling anxiety, and anxious
to go somewhere. The longer I stay here in San
Francisco, the more intense this LEAVE feeling
gets. I am not able to talk to you folks, nor
show my face at the restraunt, or hostel.

I am doodling at the Starbucks on Mason &
Ofarrell and this is not because I want to be
there, but I still had a bank run. I would much
rather be out of San Francisco to separate myself
from this space, or go to the quieter Border's
on China Basin near the Ballpark.

I finally do the bank run, and STRESSED. I
would of left earlier than 7pm but May at
the restraunt tells me Li Lon wants to talk
to me. I DO NOT WANT TO SEE THIS PERSON.
I want this to be relaxing, not MRS."MAKE IT
QUICK". I am not putting her down, but
she is the reason I have had to call in sick
(emotionally) twice and that is very rare
unless their IS A PROBLEM WITH THE JOB.
But right now it is to feed me, bank me, and
keep me able to pay for my internet at 7-10
hours a week currently.

I arrive at 6:30pm and she is not their and
I find out the next $35 roundtrip ticket to
Reno is 1am. Is this due fate? Is their a
their a reason for this delay? Hmmmm? I will
find out later, just let events ride their course!

The tugging sense to leave starts bugging me
around 11:30pm at the Greyhound station.
I would from 8pm-11pm hang at the O'Farrell
and Mason Starbucks and feel extremely
uncomfortable.

1)...I no longer tolerate the staff, the noise
and especially the location, since my outdoors
adventure that begins soon requires me to
be somewhere close to the spot I must find.

2)...I am not interested in being there because
it is past tense, not present tense.

Finnnaaallly! The bus arrives and I board it
and snooze(I was tired in many states other
than tired physically). I sit next to a black
lady about 59 years old and by 5am get up.

She explains her daughter lives her in Reno.
She explains that they throw you in jail for
any little thing. She explains that open
beer containers, sleeping on the streets,
and numerous other reasons apply. I would
get a example of this Sunday morning at
2am. I see the cops slam around a girl
in a fight, she bites the cop, and he throws
her down again. I see bums(a few) in
shuddering fear and cold in a insensitive
town.

Now I am here at reno. I feel Ooh'd and
Awee'd by all the street angles and stand
frozen for periods to gain any sense of
direction. She whizzes by in her daughters
car and tells me good luck.

I am instinctively looking for a wifi hotspot,
and the only place I could think of was
Starbucks, and some were mentioned
in my T-Mobile map. I find a place secluded
Hotel between flashing lights end and quietness
begins. It is called the Ponderosa, and in
front of it is the Wild Orchid( a girl strip
joint). I didn't come her to gamble and didn't
and nor a strip joint. I came her before my
3 day notice as a distancing between what was
and will be(a unknown for now) and no burden
of a 3 day notice dating system that starts
upon date served and 3 days afterwards.
Their is a starbucks, small, and no T-Mobile
until July. They just opened it.

I find out Starbucks are far and few between.
Some where 5 miles apart as I would find out.

5/21/05' 9am.......Seeking out Wifi and Her!
I am scouring to post to you my thoughts and
feelings and glad I was delayed. I arrive at
the Border's OOooh! So! far away. I find
out that it is being remodeled. I ask for
a nearby Starbucks. I find out that it is
near by deeper in the stripmall. I go there
and find out that it is "unverified" 24hours.
I encounter a musician and will bring home
one of his CD's. I am online after 8 reboots
and 3 rebuilds?????Hmmmmmm?????

She shows up. She is 52 and see's my computer
and we start talking about autisim. This is
a important part of the trip. The part when most
pieces come together. Remember when I said
I came her by intuition, as well a cheapness.

She explains her life and a very AS type dad.
She explains a Psychiatrist friend say's you
"play by a different drummer", or AS litature
that I read. I explain that I am autistic and
have been doing thourough research. She
explains I am helping her understand herself.

I smile, and I am reminded of a older Pyraxis,
because she writes technical-flowerly, or
HFA-like. She explains how she had hearing
issues and corrections, like me. She hears
me explain the differences between AS and
HFA and I relate some of your writings
and experiences to her. What amazed me
most is she didn't know about Aspergers
not Autism, all she knew was "playing by
a different drummer" and how she learned
differently than others.

She explained that up to age 46 she was
a candidate for a heart attack. Overworked
and overstressed because it was her only
outlet. She did real estate, owned a
restraunt, ect....Like a HFA-like pyraxis.

I explain to her WrongPlanet, and she leaves
her address for my latest notes and CD
burn. I am glad I went here. I later find
out that their is another wifi spot near the
Ponderosa Hotel, right on the water front
near virginia call Dream Works coffe shop
(this would be Sunday 3/22/05' 10am).

I slept and dreamt most of the time, and
recharged. I saw episode 3 of Starwars
and it only cost $8.75 at the Reno Century
12 also near the waterfont. It cost $10.50
at the Meteron in San Francisco and a 2
week sold out date. I just popped in and
got a ticket to a not-so-sold out show.

I say Mystical because I have used
my instinct well, and to help others
if I can. The God and Goddess
have been good to me this way
and very good to me for allowing
me the courage to help others,
and in this case, a great state
and distance away, as I learn to
help myself.