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HolyDiver
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Joined: 19 Mar 2007
Age: 32
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Location: West Chester, PA

26 Apr 2007, 4:27 pm

I'm tired of people thinking that I am off blance, defective, and blind... I know I'm not, and I tell them... and for my sins, I am punished with hospitalization against my will. I am tired of people asking "Did you take your medications?" "Take your MEDS Andrew (not my real name)." People dismiss what I say, and spew bullshit from behind their teeth thinking that it's pure uncut, whole grain "Wisdom", when they themselves are the most ignornat, but loved, amongst those who stand in accusation of my very being.

Does anyone know of ANY psychologists within the northeast of the U.S. who actually has the "Disease" (take 20 minutes to laugh myself to the point of stiches, since the term "disease" in reference to it is such a knee slapper) and can actually relate to me? I'm tired of "Specialists" who read text books written by idiots with good intentions, and then think that they understand and can define me. F*** these B******s!

I've spent my whole life pretending to be something that I am not, and I'm tired of running, I cannot take it anymore, my stolen future... I want it back. I'm tired of having to be "wrong" because they are too ignorant. Why do I hate me so much!? I've learned to despise and be ashamed of what I am. I couldn't even type on these boards and talk to all the friendly and kind hearted people because I saw the thing about me that I hated in so many posts, I saw the thing that I had learned to hate about myself. Figures that I come crawling here when I'm in danger (see post from previous week called "Hello, about me, and HELP ME!".).

Please, help me. This is my last hope. Otherwise, I think I'll just find an island to live out the rest of my days... where I won't be punished for expressing myself (even to my mother).



Last edited by HolyDiver on 27 Apr 2007, 3:42 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Apatura
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26 Apr 2007, 4:29 pm

There is a member here, Sophist, who is studying for a psych. degree, though I don't think she's licensed yet... if I ever do get diagnosed, I would want it to be by a psychologist who has AS him or herself.



jnet
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26 Apr 2007, 4:36 pm

What happened with that whole mess? (I responded to several of your posts). From the sound of it, things aren't better for you now. Sorry I can't answer your question, but I am just wondering how you are doing.


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cecilfienkelstien
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26 Apr 2007, 4:37 pm

I know exactly what you mean! I get disenchanted with the system too :evil: I don't believe some of these people that think they are the experts when they don't know anything.
I volenteer in the public school system in aprogram for aspies. The funny thing is I'm an aspie, and I understand those kids in the program better then any of the other staff in the school. I just think "You guys don't know a damb thing" :evil: We are the ones living with this everyday. We are the bloody experts.
Although I will admit there are some people that are world renouned that actually take the time to understand what we are going through. The neat thing is these people actually appreciate us for our uniqueness 8) I recomend the book The Complete Guide To Asperger's Syndrome by Tony Atwood published in 2006 and the works of Brenda Smith Myles- to which there are many.



aspiebegood
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26 Apr 2007, 4:57 pm

I have to travel to another city just to see my psychologist, but I am just happy that I HAVE one who understands me because he specializes in autistics and asperger's. Unfortunately for you he is not resident on the eastcoast.


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HolyDiver
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Joined: 19 Mar 2007
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Location: West Chester, PA

26 Apr 2007, 6:40 pm

jnet wrote:
What happened with that whole mess? (I responded to several of your posts). From the sound of it, things aren't better for you now. Sorry I can't answer your question, but I am just wondering how you are doing.


I was tricked (not really, I'm not going to sit here and make my parents out to be the bad guy) into going there. I admitted myself, and accidently mentioned that I had suicidal intentions.

Never in my life has someone asked the the same question any times:

"are you having any thoughts to hurt yourself or other?"

Yes, you, because I'm tired of hearing the F****ing question.

A week I spent in the looney bin.... God, I'll NEVER forgive them for that... except for their ignorance of what they put me in.