Dealing with fast-talkers, loud-mouths, liars, etc.

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Is anyone else totally paralyzed in conversations with more dominant people? I very often find myself unable to "get a word in edgewise." I also can't say no, to ANYTHING. I'm completely terrified of anything resembling confrontation. I can't even be honest with my therapist because I can't bear to disappoint people. Sometimes I feel like the only way I could ever assert myself is if I yelled and screamed at people. I'm a prisoner of my own politeness and awkwardness. I barely even have a life of my own. I don't even know how to begin to address this problem. I apologize if this post seems a bit disjointed. I'm just venting.

I completely understand the feeling. You should tell your therapist that you're afraid you won't be honest because of a desire to please and be accepted. Any decent therapist will understand that and work with you on it. As for overbearing people, just let them bark. I like to be liked, so I smile all the time, regardless of how I'm feeling. But if I really need to get a word in, I really just need to put on a serious face and people will be more ready to shut up and listen. =)

Yes. Serious face works well. Very intimidating, I am told.

HECK YEAH! This is supposedly ANOTHER AS symptom(not being able to regulate a conversation). I would say either reason it away(if they don't want your input, DON'T BOTHER), or do what a lot of AS people end up doing ANYWAY, even by accident! INTERRUPT!

Steve

Oh yeah. My speech just completely collapses into a mess of stuttering and embarressment when I'm confronted with more confident people - even my parents can sometimes cause this to happen.

Which is really annoying, considering I have no such problems when I talk to myself...

It depends for me, I'm a very dominant and independent person. If I have thought out how to word something or what to say I can usually say it, when someone cuts me off though or I am misplaced in a conversation I studder and spit and just kind of crumble.

I tend to avoid.. people really. I speak through text.
So I guess this might be why I don't see this pattern so much. Now that I think about it, yes. When someone has dominance over me or I think they do my speech is a huge mess.


You should tell your therapist that you're afraid you won't be honest because of a desire to please and be accepted.


Brilliant. See for me, I do everything differently. It would be that I do not trust ANYONE ever, and people who I have contently let me down. I also ALWAYS challenge authority, its a habit I tend to be very self confident in my conclusions and for me if the Therapist thinks differently than I do they better have some DAMN good reasoning to back up their claim. However they never do because I never tell them anything or I never tell them the complete truth. I don't know why it is, it might have something to do with this and it might be something to do with trust. Likely both and a bunch of other things, I'm still sorting them out. I haven't had a therapist in years, since I was very very young. My life has been a mess and so they never got beyond your introductory ADD diagnosis, and besides I was always seeing a new face which made me clam up even more. I'm not ADD as I explained in a journaling entry, I just don't have the desire or effort to make you understand what I'm talking about.

But this is a good idea.

none of my friends or i can regulate a convo well we use "footnots"
if some one is talking, our in our case ranting and u get a though u say footnote and a word that relates to what you are thinking
and when they finish some one in the group looks at u and says footnote and the word
which hopefully reminds you what u were thinking about
it only works with friends tho cos u have to introduce it the system to them

I just wander away and do something else.

I put on my serious face, kick in my "I am smarter then you" voice and use big words. Most people who use their authority to act big are really just full of hot air and dumb as door nails. I am really good at being condescending.

you guys are singing my songs...i always agree to things that i either a) have no interest in what so ever b) to make someone else feel better c) to try to fit in...

I'm usually quick to point out things that aren't important too. Confrontations and arguments usually bring on a panic attack for me, especially if it doesn't end decisively. So if it happens around me, I usually try to figure out the root of the problem and break in with a possible solution based on context clues. But all too often people argue over things that really don't make a hill of beans worth of difference, or sometimes they're both right in different ways, so I'm not afraid to point that out either. It may be rude to break in, but it's better than dealing with a panic attack (or rather, having other people "try" to deal with a panic attack, thereby making it worse).

What about close talkers or space invaders. I cannot even think about what they are trying to tell me if they are talking too close,and it is all i can do to not step back because that would offend them.