eye contact discomfort varies per person?

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Brittniejoy1983
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15 Apr 2016, 1:28 pm

Have you ever found some people are easier to make eye contact with? And some it seems like torture?

I know people where making eye contact isn't that discomforting, and some it feels like their stabbing through me (my chest, although they are looking at my eyes).


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League_Girl
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15 Apr 2016, 1:45 pm

I have no problem doing it to my husband and kids and parents. It's other people when I feel uncomfortable doing it. I will look at their hands or faces or their clothes.


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Yigeren
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15 Apr 2016, 1:56 pm

It's nearly impossible for me to make eye contact at times. Sustained eye contact is always uncomfortable. It's easier to make eye contact with those I know well. But it's not something that I do normally with anyone.

With a stranger, usually my eyes are darting all around, or I'm staring off into space. In situations where lack of eye contact would make me appear too strange, I will usually make very brief eye contact, but otherwise be looking somewhere else.

So it's easier with people I know. But it's not ever "normal." I can't concentrate on the conversation if I make more than brief eye contact. I literally don't understand what's being said to me, and when I speak, I'll lose my train of thought.



mikeman7918
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15 Apr 2016, 2:11 pm

I have noticed that eye contact is much easier for people I know well like my siblings, parents, and close friends. Even among strangers some are easier to make eye contact with then others.


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Grammar Geek
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15 Apr 2016, 6:26 pm

No. It doesn't matter who it is; I can't make eye contact with anybody.



RonaldD793
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17 Apr 2016, 7:11 am

It's really easy to make eye contact with my brother and my parents, but with anyone else I feel a mite bit uncomfortable. I usually make a fair bit of eye contact with strangers, but then after the current conversation ends my eyes immediately dart down to somewhere else. I have been practicing with my parents, so I might say I'm improving though.



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18 Apr 2016, 7:41 pm

Same as with RonaldD793.
It depends on the day though, when I'm tired, worn out or simply stressed, I won't be good at keeping eye contact at all.
I often just use a trick to look at the nose or between someone's eyebrows so it's not really direct eye contact too, so true eye contact is rare to begin with. With my immediate family, brother and parents, I have no issues actually looking in their eyes. The less I know a person and the less I had contact with them in my life, the harder it is for me.

So, to answer your question:
Yes, it depends on the person for me (and my daily "mood"). If it's a stranger, only some fake eye contact goes, if it's someone I know very well, fake eye contact and maybe even real eye contact works.


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18 Apr 2016, 8:10 pm

Hm... yeah, I guess eye contact is easier with people whom I'm closer to (emotionally). It's rarely a problem with my family members. But with strangers, I feel soooo uncomfortable; I tend to settle on staring at their necks or shoulders, if not at the wall.


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CockneyRebel
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18 Apr 2016, 10:25 pm

I have an easier time making eye-contact with my friends and family than I do when I'm talking to strangers. I find it hard to focus on such a small area for more than 10 minutes.


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Grahzmann
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18 Apr 2016, 10:51 pm

I don't typically make eye contact with anyone, but after thinking about it, I agree that it's easier with people I'm closer to than strangers. It's not comfortable with anyone though.



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18 Apr 2016, 11:01 pm

Perhaps the easiest (but by no means easy) person to make eye contact with is my mother. The rest, even close friends, I find are difficult to maintain eye contact with.


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