Everybody Is Identical: a response to An Open Letter to the Depressed Aspergian

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e.h.summerlin
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20 May 2018, 4:35 pm

I'd like to comment briefly on the "80% divorce rate", because new studies have come out showing that this is probably not true, and that divorce rates in families with disabled children are actually not any higher than in the general population. There's an article on The Mighty about it, but I'm not allowed to post the URL because I'm a new user. I'd Google search it if I were you.



B19
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20 May 2018, 5:08 pm

Most of those extreme claims were not based on research, but spread as alarmist messages by Autism Speaks, during their campaign a few years ago to demonise autism, and it was a really sick propaganda campaign. Autism Speaks no longer seems to do this since the passing of Suzanne Wright, who seemed to be the chief propagandist there.



Franfree
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31 Oct 2018, 9:55 pm

Well written speech. Keep it up.



Hikergirl
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22 May 2020, 1:37 am

Very well said



Fern
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22 May 2020, 2:23 am

Hikergirl wrote:
Very well said


Not to side track, but awesome username! :D welcome!



DesertWoman
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28 Sep 2020, 10:15 pm

Very well-written. I oftentimes wonder why I'm still alive. I can see where people find people on the spectrum annoying. But disclosure and awareness could change all that. I think ASD is just something someone has, like skin color, height, hair color, etc. So what if someone is a little clueless or has sensory issues. Both of those things can be worked on, or accommodated.



tardisduck
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06 Oct 2020, 9:30 pm

Very well said.

During covid this is especially worrying. I need to meet my aspire tribe in person. I look forward to when that can happen.



Cephalopod
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13 Dec 2020, 2:24 am

If you dont have familial and/or financial resources, struggling at the bottom like everyone else, but without the social companionship that follows suit, life is an extra flavor of hell. Its unfortunate, to have your health, somewhat of your youth, food and water, and most of the other basics that should make one happy. But, nothing else can be wrong, and without meaningful relationships, you might as well be without air. As time goes on and you keep hitting the same hurdles with the rest of society, the same rejections, culminating into a deep sense of dejection and worthlessness. There seems little to shake the thoughts and desires to step out of the life, end the pain. You try in earnest to work on yourself, go to meetups, pickup new hobbies, read self-help books..... and then you're still as disconnected as you were before, if not worse because of the passage of time.



Kateyn
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19 Sep 2021, 7:40 pm

Thank you .. Thank you ! There is more (in my thank you ) that I could verbalise using more words ...



Mona Pereth
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19 Sep 2021, 8:22 pm

BenderRodriguez wrote:
mikewhateverm wrote:

There is also a trend online which says that socially awkward white male geeks have it easy, and because of this, there is no shame in humiliating them, even harassing them. Those people cite Bill Gates as an example, but Gates had excellent marketing skills. An example of this shaming tactic is at http://leighalexander.net/faq/ under Why do you sometimes mock ‘nerds’ and ‘gamers’ so virulently? Isn’t that the same kind of bullying you rail against?, where she claims that make nerds are "overprivileged" with no evidence.

I tried clicking the above link and got a blank page.

mikewhateverm wrote:
Another example is http://reddit.com/r/niceguys, which is centered around this shaming.

As far as I can tell so far, most of the guys quoted and "shamed" there aren't just "awkward," but are guys who claim to be "nice" while at the same time expressing really obnoxious misogynistic views.

BenderRodriguez wrote:
A bit of a tangent here, but something that bothers me a lot these days. Even assuming someone is indeed "over-privileged", more talented or has a better life situation than yours, how on earth does that justify actively and intentionally trying to make their life harder? It's an incredibly petty and entitled (yes, I said it) attitude in itself.

It certainly doesn't.

The question is whether, when someone claims to have been persecuted just for being "privileged," that's what's really going on, or whether the "privileged" person has actually been doing something offensive or harmful.

This needs to be judged on a case-by-case basis. But don't just take the "privileged" person's word for it. Take a good look at what is actually going on.


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MichaelFox
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18 Mar 2022, 10:05 pm

Yep. Exactly. 54. Its true, support services for adults are virtually nil...the drug roulette wheels changing meds around when something works is devastating and this is the future for kids coming up.



malco
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02 Jul 2022, 9:22 pm

"The world doesn’t need to be like this." But it is unfortunately. Periodic depression is my companion. There is a lot I dislike about the world I find myself living in. Wars. Hypocrisy. Dishonesty. Hate. Poor little children being born into a situation of abject poverty in some countries. Rich people who can sit back and pile their wealth up without lifting a finger while people toiling for money to put food on the table contribute to their share dividends. There is a lot to not like about the intelligent beings we supposedly are. However I won't kill myself - I don't need to. I've lived for nearly 70 years now and something will get me soon and end it all for me. Perhaps my underlying cancer? And I recognize how unbelievably lucky I've been to be born (if I had to be born at all) at this period in history, to the parents I have/had in the country I live in. Antibiotics, cheap energy, etc. Despite what human behaviour does to my mind I DO count my particular (non-religious) blessings.



auntblabby
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02 Jul 2022, 9:57 pm

i am close enough to the end that it no longer really matters that much, all things considered.



Karmita
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18 Feb 2023, 9:48 am

I suffer from depression and do become despairing, usually informing close friends who can inform the medics who can assess me and ask me if I would like to be in mental hospital for a short while, usually about 7 days + until I feel safer. On my last stay in a mental hospital I was visited by a friend who is autistic and also suffers from depression and she made the point that people do not commit suicide, which implies a crime, they enact suicide. Obviously everything needs to be done to prevent this occuring. I have in the last 10-12 years needed to avoid prescribed antidepressants because they put energy under a low mood which tips me impulsively and compulsively over the Edge so rivers become terrifying and so on. I have found in one of my medical books that resveratrol supplements extracted from Japanese knotweed are as effective an antidepressant as fluoxitine, an SSRI. But resveratrol supplements do not put energy under a low mood, so ease depression by a different route and action in the brain. It is also important that people are kind, compassionate, understanding and non-judgemental, so as not to accelerate despair to a tipping point over the Edge. Online bullying has led to more than a few tragedies.



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18 Feb 2023, 10:33 am

The following article begins by discussing or high rates of suicide and suicide ideation and why it happens.
Psychology Today

Quote:
What Can Be Done to Lower the Risk?
If you’re an autistic person (or suspect you might be), here are some ways you can help yourself:

1. Seek out a diagnosis.
If you’re struggling, an accurate diagnosis can help you understand your symptoms and seek out appropriate help. Unfortunately, the wait times for a full psychiatric diagnosis can be extremely lengthy and, depending on your insurance and other factors, may be expensive. Some therapists (including counsellors and speech therapists) are trained in autism diagnosis which can offer a quicker, more affordable diagnostic option. Note that some workplaces or educational establishments may require a psychiatric diagnosis.

2. Talk to someone.
The thought of opening up about suicidal feelings might seem impossible, but talking to someone—whether that's a therapist, friend, teacher, colleague, or family member—is a starting point for sharing how you feel and receiving help to find alternatives to suicide. If you can’t get the words out, consider writing them down. Seek out appropriate therapy to help you deal with suicidal ideation.

3. Self-care.
For some people, suicidality is something that is present for much of the time. Finding ways to recognise these thoughts as just that, thoughts, can be helpful. It’s also likely that there are times when suicidal thoughts are more or less heightened. Identifying the types of situations and triggers which can lead to increased feelings of suicide, or which have been present before a suicide attempt, can help you find ways to cope with these situations in advance. Finding ways that help you manage your stress levels, get the rest you need, and nurture your brain in the ways it needs can lead to a general improvement in your mental health.


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TT1660
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12 Sep 2023, 11:38 am

For the last weeks or so, I've been more disorderly than ever. I have had to deal with the aftermath of a relative's passing, as well as the mourning/funeral whatever. I don't understand this 'identical' crap in the thread title whatsoever. But admittedly I did not read it. An occurrence that is common with the 13th of the month occurred hours ago out of the blue, because I am simply too high maintenance for anyone. It involved an now inactive member of this forum.

Usually I contemplate suicide about 2-4 times a year on average. But I've considered it this a couple of times in the last month. I won't give in to the temptation. Instead, I'm likely to succumb to the effects of food high in calories and sodium, with zero nutritional value, which I eat daily, because I feel like I have nothing to live for. I am feeling more rebellious than ever, and I had a suspicion about this month, due to a minor encounter years ago. Not sure of the condition. But I am 100 times more over-analytical of numbers/combinations than most. I translate months/days into months/years, and cannot prevent myself from doing so. I'm probably the only one the planet who does so. But the encounter arose as a result of having Social Death Snydrome (also known as Aspergers), as well as something I mentioned in other posts, which I'll exclude from here. I just read the article regarding frends, and relationsh t, or whatever it's called. I don't think I've heard of either in any comprehensible manner, because I have never had any true ones, or any kind of relation-whatever it's called.

The month isn't even half done with. If I end up departing, nobody on this forum will know, and due to no next of kin, the police won't know who to contact.

I guess negativity cost me a very short lived contact. But for the record, I don't give a rats, because I know to expect nothing from most.

My point: No point
Possible outcome: Nothing
Value of post: 0
Venting points: Decreased by 0.2
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