Is it ever right to let a nurotypical girl know your a aspie

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Is it a turn on to know a man can be aspie but still care for you like any man idealy should?
Poll ended at 01 May 2016, 11:18 am
Yes definatly 100% 50%  50%  [ 1 ]
Yes kind of 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
Sort of but I could still find better 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
I could care less 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
No but not to me 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
Not to me but I could see why 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
No there too neurologicaly chalanged 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
Heck no out of the question never gross 50%  50%  [ 1 ]
Total votes : 2

kingem125
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22 Apr 2016, 11:18 am

I know yesterday I posted some sad stuff but I met 2 girls online that want to see me in person. Is it wrong to let them know about my condition. It seems like they are caring sweet and deep women and its only just a plus that they are totally georgeous which only makes me more nervous about meeting.

I think about it and start to feel asmatic and cry at the thought they would think im no good or that im creepy. Cus as it is now I assume they are expecting me to be like this romantic movie mr. Prince charming type. Yet im more like most characters ever played by benedict cumberbatch. Escentric yet deep highly intellegent, motivated by love and Able to take care of any woman as well if not better then any man ever could. Its just I may come off as not being so / being totally socially inept which the latter is mostly true.

I feel that either one could make my heart sing and be a good match but I don't wanna loose them especially right off the bat. Cus they have given me major motivation in all facits of my life and I feel absolutely unstopable. But it would crush me if they think im anything but who I am on the inside. :( :( :roll:



nurseangela
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22 Apr 2016, 11:37 am

It's going to greatly depend on what you do socially. You'll have to tell them at some point or they will see you doing something strange and wonder what is going on and end up leaving anyway. I wouldn't lay it on them right away, but I would at some point. Communication is usually the problem between NT's and Aspies and will be made even more confusing if they are not aware of how you communicate as an Aspie. If they can't accept it, then they are not worth your time. They should also be someone who will want to learn more about Aspieism and you must be willing to learn more about NT women.

I'm NT.


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mikeman7918
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22 Apr 2016, 1:19 pm

Like @nurseangela said, you will have to tell them at some point.

It's not about making them like you, it's about giving them a disclaimer and letting them know more about who you are. You are an aspie weather you like it or not, and any girl who is not OK with that should not be with you anyway.

When you tell them is up to you. I would recommend waiting until they know you fairly well first, but don't wait too long.


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nerdygirl
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22 Apr 2016, 2:32 pm

I don't know if I'm aspie or NT for sure, but my take on it is that it is important to tell. You may not want to *right away*, but sooner is better than later. You would want to tell them before any kind of conflict comes up, for sure. To pull it out during a conflict sounds like a "get out of jail free" pass and an excuse for anything you might have done to contribute to the conflict. Better to say ahead of time that you're aspie and explain how you are different.

Someone who likes you is going to want to understand you better and do things that please you and avoid doing things that displease you, as much as possible. No one tries to go around purposefully offending people they like. So, the more you can explain yourself (preferences, patterns of behavior, quirks, etc.) the better. Though I wouldn't overload someone with a long list of things in one sitting.

I don't know what "knowing someone fairly well" means. By the time someone knows me fairly well, they will have already figured out I'm a bit off and decided whether or not they were going to put up with me.



mikeman7918
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22 Apr 2016, 2:51 pm

nerdygirl wrote:
I don't know what "knowing someone fairly well" means. By the time someone knows me fairly well, they will have already figured out I'm a bit off and decided whether or not they were going to put up with me.

What I meant by that is knowing you well enough that they probably won't change their oppinion of you when you tell them about being autistic. Let them know your character first so they won't judge you based on a stereotype. That's the general rule that I follow.


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Jacoby
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22 Apr 2016, 2:55 pm

I'd avoid it if it's not clear right away, that wouldn't be the first thing out my mouth to anyone. Really, I'd have to be comfortable with the person and think the person a)would have any idea what I am talking about b)and be sympathetic to my situation. It's not something I'm comfortable talking about period, I don't see any point explaining it to someone that doesn't know already because I can't see that possibly going well. I'm not really initiating too many things so it's not something I really ever do with anybody male or female besides close family and a few support workers. I'm a pretty guarded person and my main coping mechanism is avoidance but anybody that actually knows me would know something is up pretty quickly.



nerdygirl
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22 Apr 2016, 3:18 pm

mikeman7918 wrote:
nerdygirl wrote:
I don't know what "knowing someone fairly well" means. By the time someone knows me fairly well, they will have already figured out I'm a bit off and decided whether or not they were going to put up with me.

What I meant by that is knowing you well enough that they probably won't change their oppinion of you when you tell them about being autistic. Let them know your character first so they won't judge you based on a stereotype. That's the general rule that I follow.


Ah, yes, this makes sense. I agree.