Women liking rich vs not rich

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I didn't put this on dating because I wanted the opinions of woman and didn't want loads of guys coming on and saying what they think women think

So after my being on the dating forum I have found that most of the males on there strongly believe the only thing woman are attracted to is money.

I don't understand why they think this as I certainly don't feel that way.

Do you look for a man with money and if so why?

Also why do you think men have this perception?

I don't get why some seem to think that all women are attracted to money above all else, but I could certainly see why they'd get the impression a lot are. I know my boyfriend was worried that his living situation/wages would be problematic for finding a relationship before he met me.

Though I don't get why it then seems some still want to pursue that specific demographic of women, or become totally blind that there are women outside of the shallow demographic so think it is the only choice...we're just probably not as noticeable because we're not usually hanging out with those ones, and going out to the club/bar with all our fellow female friends or dressing in some super stunning feminine way with elevated social confidence radiating off of us.

I myself don't care so much about money, aside from it being a thing you need to pay for things you need/want it certainly doesn't mean anything to me on it's own. My current boyfriend was staying on his soon to be ex-room mates living room floor when I met him, then they moved to an apartment where he got a room and a bed. And now I think the plan is we're moving to my brothers and helping with rent which will be 600 between us so 300 each because that is essentially what we can afford with his wages and my SSI. I could say I want him to have more money, but that is because I am pissed he works his a** off with wages that wouldn't even cover rent in most 1 bedroom apartments because that's how corporate america treats its laborers, I don't find him undesirable because of it. If he got fired for instance and prospects of finding a job of equal or higher pay where non-existent I wouldn't have thoughts of leaving him, though I imagine some women might. I'd rather have my boyfriend than money if it came down to it.

My grandmother says 'You can fall in love with a rich man just as easily as a poor man.' (That is, choose rich not poor.)

That said, she loves my wife (I'm a lesbian) who is a teacher.

I wouldn't want someone who refuses to work (as opposed to someone who cannot work which may well be me in the future) but apart from that it's not the main thing for me.

Nor is it the key factor for any of my friends. One friend in particular says she fell in love with a rich man whose inheritance meant they had no mortgage... but it wasn't all it was cracked up to be because he left her for a 'younger model'.

No. I'd rather make my own money. I would want someone relatively ambitious (because I am), and a hard-worker (because I am).

It's a stereotype that women go for men with money. Women used to be expected to go for men with money. Women were supposed to find a good husband, and stay home raising children and keeping house. Single women were looked down upon, and it generally wasn't acceptable for women to work unless it was before marriage, or after the children had grown. So regardless of what women actually wanted, society expected these things. The only acceptable way to get rich was to marry a rich man.

And if we look even further back in history, it was nearly impossible for women to be self-made. Women had few or no rights in many societies. Women were considered to be less intelligent than men, less capable, and worth less. Women were basically good for sex, keeping house, and having children. Women went from being the responsibility of their fathers, to bring that of their husbands.

So these attitudes do remain in some instances. Women may be pressured to find rich husbands, or they may wish to be wealthy stay-at-home moms. A woman who wants to stay home with her children, and also wants to be wealthy, is likely going to need to find a man who can provide that kind of money. And some women just want to be spoiled and pampered, or want the status of a rich husband.

Men have this perception because they are paying attention to stereotypes, and the attitudes of shallow women. Likely the girls they are attracted to are the high-maintenance, materialistic type.

It is a stereotype and it used to be that way because women were expected to live off men and be supported by them while they stay at home with the kids. But I wondered what happened when they became empty nesters?

But times have a changed and now women get just as the same rights as men now pretty much because they are not expected to stay at home with the kids and being supported by their husbands. They can work now just like a man can work. Plus it's not good to depend on a man's income because what if the man turns out to be abusive or what if a divorce happens? You won't have any work history and you would pretty much have to start over from rock bottom. Plus just because you have gone to college doesn't mean you can get a job in that area just like that because times change and even my mom who is a nurse has had to keep taking classes to keep her nursing license because she has to keep up to date with nursing. Without working for so many years, you miss all that. My mom has gone a few years not working as a nurse but she had to take some classes again before she started so she wasn't that far behind. I am not sure what she had to do to get a job again as a nurse because she went about eight years of not working as a nurse. She did for a little bit when I was nine but she worked as a night time nurse. But during those eight years she was a stay at home mom and then starting in 5th grade she went back to working as a teacher aide in special ed. for two years but that was to see how teachers worked with special needs and how the system worked for the sake of me.

But I have seen some women out there that only want someone who makes lot of money and also want sugar daddies but to me that is setting themselves up to be vulnerable to abusive relationships. But I would want someone who is financially stable, not someone who can't keep a job or has money management issues or can't even make a living. Both my ex's were that way but my current husband worked and he worked hard and now he is disabled. He never made high wages but he made enough to live comfortably. With our incomes together, we lived a comfortable life, with one income, we would have struggled and not have cable or internet and would have to juggle bills like with food or with phone. But sadly those sort of women stand out more so that is what the guys see and assume most of us are that way. Plus there is a difference between wanting someone who is financially stable than someone who just wants someone with lots of money.

I know you don't want men here guessing about what women think, and that's not what I'm here to do. I'm here so you don't have to guess as much about our perception.

From what I understand, a lot of women put a lot of importance on how they look and many believe that they would never get a guy to like them if they don't look pretty enough, even though that's not nesesarily true. Similarly, a lot of men put a lot of importance on their ability to protect and provide and many believe that no woman would want them if they couldn't do that.

Feeling useless is a big self esteem killer for a lot of guys, because if we can't be providers and protectors then what does that make us? If a man can't provide much then it can make him feel like he's the inferior one in a relationship where all should be equal, like his function could be augmented by a fertility clinic. The gender roles steriotypes no doubt have an affect too. Although I don't agree with this line of reasoning, I do see where men who believe this are coming from.

Dateless, single, and lonely.

I want a man who makes equal to what I do. That's all. No more or no less. And definitely not a lot less because I don't need someone to take care of - I have my own problems thank you very much.

Rich? No thanks. That comes with its own problems. How about a guy who can be stable employment wise? That's all I would ask.

I think the reason that stereotype exists is that until relatively recently, women had to rely on a man to support them and their children, so those men who had more money were more attractive to women. Today, there are more women who would rather support themselves without having to rely on a man, and who are perfectly happy to be part of a 2 income household. Even then, there are those women who still fit the stereotype of only caring about living off a man's income and not doing anything for themselves.

I am not particularly interested in dating anyway, but even if I was I wouldn't care about his or her income. If I did, it would be because I am thinking about having a baby with them. Personally, I think if you are dating anybody, you should care about their income regardless of their or your gender. I mean, if you are going to share a life with somebody, that also includes bills and possibly a mortgage. It would be absurd not to want some financial security, especially if you have extra mouths to feed. But if you aren't living together and it's a more casual thing, yeah their income isn't really your concern.

My guess is that some women want rich men because it brings security, if you cant make enough money for yourself but you want guaranteed security in life then you need a partner who can provide that. Its a trade of sorts that attracts women of a particular mindset.

Personally I don't care as long as he makes enough to support himself, including the means to save for a contingency fund. Being with a rich person is way more high maintenance than I can manage.
I think being provided for financially creates an unhealthy mindset, I done that for my ex and it led to a series of life altering mistakes. In that regard I can understand why the L&D chaps complain about it, but in todays world women can be the breadwinners too, and need to be mindful of suitors that are just after resources.

I can't speak for women, but this part:

In my experience and observation, *some* men do this because:

1. It takes the focus and responsibility off them - they don't have to face being rejected due to their own behaviour, habits, attitude etc. and this leads to
2. It puts the blame on the women - they're all gold-diggers and materialistic this and that driven by their greedy ovaries bla bla bla
3. It diminishes any qualities more successful men might have - they are being preferred only due to having more money not because god forbid they might be smarter, funnier, more interesting etc.

disclaimer: some women are indeed gold-diggers, some men don't do this kind of crap etc.

I'm not bothered by how much someone earns, I care more about personality. I currently like a chap who does something for work that my Dad will think is beneath me, but I respect what this man does and he helps people with that line of work. His appeal isn't his salary, it's his attitude.

Also, looking at reality, in the UK it's hard to get a job in the field you've studied in. Although, most people with a bit of guts and intelligence and genuine talent do move up the ladder a bit. Sometimes the job a person has can reflect a person's attitude, how easily they give up, rather than keep trying. Tenacity is more appealing than giving up.

It took me five years from leaving college to get into my field and even then I was on entry level pay for 3 years, but I keep improving my skills and I'm in a better job now. It's not wow money, I'll never be rich with this, but I'm content. It's not minimum wage either. If I can reach this point with my social issues and health problems, what is holding a man back who never has 2 weeks a month of menstrual issues?

And if his issues are worse than mine I have to ask myself, do I have the health and energy to support that or will it burn me out? It doesn't matter how lovely someone is, there are practical aspects to life that can wear you down. I believe in love, but I also believe you have to be practical about it. Love can die under stress.

You have to take a person as a whole and see if you agree with their life choices and combine them with yours, otherwise it won't work.

I think parents can place a lot of pressure on their sons. My friend's Mum told me that she was concerned about her sons because they both earn minimum wage. She says to them, "how are you going to support a wife and family", so if men hear that growing up then they expect that women won't want them if they are "not earning enough to support a wife and family."

Sadly someone has taken what is a chat about perceptions and opinions and has posted in love and dating atracking this post and to some extent me personally.

I hope this doesn't affect any of you adversely or stop you from being able to share your opinions on this topic

I wouldn't take it personally, I can't see why people's posts on this thread would warrant that response, other than it's a touchy subject for him.