Getting Attached too Easily?

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ThisAdamGuy
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29 Apr 2016, 1:11 pm

I've been told that I get attached to people too easily. Like, I'll "meet" them on a dating site, text them for a couple days, and then in that time I'll grow really attached to them. Maybe it's because I don't have many friends so I tend to latch onto anyone who will have a decent conversation with me, I don't know. But when they stop talking to me (and they always do) it feels like an actual breakup. Is this normal for Aspies, or is it just me?


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rdos
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29 Apr 2016, 1:21 pm

ThisAdamGuy wrote:
I've been told that I get attached to people too easily. Like, I'll "meet" them on a dating site, text them for a couple days, and then in that time I'll grow really attached to them. Maybe it's because I don't have many friends so I tend to latch onto anyone who will have a decent conversation with me, I don't know. But when they stop talking to me (and they always do) it feels like an actual breakup. Is this normal for Aspies, or is it just me?


Yes, quite normal. AFAIK, the problem is that conversation is the last step in the neurodiverse courtship, and by involving in dating or online chatting, you are breaking the rules and your brain responds by starting a super-fast attachment process.



nick007
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29 Apr 2016, 10:51 pm

I found I got attached too but I think some of it is because of loneliness, desperation & because my of my OCD. It's alitte better now that my OCD is treated & I have a girlfriend I'm living with so I'm not as lonely.


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ThisAdamGuy
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29 Apr 2016, 11:49 pm

There's the other thing too, where the say they're on the dating site only to make friends. I'm pretty sure this is just something they say when the guy isn't good enough to date but they don't want to hurt his feelings, but whatever. Do you think it's worth keeping in touch with them? I'm not great at keeping friends, which might be a big reason why I'm so intent on finding a girlfriend. They're not friends, they're CLOSER than friends. Anyway, I'm worried that if I tried to stay friends with them after that, I'd just be constantly reminded about how I wasn't good enough to be more than friends with, and it'd be even worse when they DO start dating someone because that means he has something I don't, and it makes him better than me... is it better to just drop things at that point?


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