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grace4us
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

Joined: 5 May 2016
Age: 75
Gender: Female
Posts: 2
Location: Pennsylvania

05 May 2016, 5:18 pm

Is it judgmental to suspect that you are the NT and your spouse the AS? My husband often laments that we have big serious relationship threatening communication problems. He really is a State Trial judge, so perhaps he's more NT than I. He becomes almost despondent if I say the he's not asking a reasonable question or allowing me time to respond. For example, he named a specific check number and payee. I was unable to locate the entry on a spreadsheet. I suggested that he ck his laptop for the latest update to see if the entry had been made but was missing from my version. He said I was changing the subject and at first refused to open the related file on his computer. Finally, he said he did not keep any files I worked on earlier (last year specifically) saying he never used my work because we we're communicating well during the data entry process. I raised my voice and said, "who does that? Nobody would have someone do that much work (+ 100 pages of estate administration accounting) and then not use the work. My spouse is now sulking and looking deflated. This is a common response from him (when I say that he is being unreasonable). I try to avoid these incidents but it is exhausting trying to remember how to never react to his intense interrogations. His reasoning process is rarely linear. But linear thinking is appropriate for data entry tasks. Perhaps he is just too advanced in his thinking and I am simply not his equal and should not be attempting to have a conversation with him. A Judge is never going to submit himself to testing or evaluation for ASD. What can I do to avoid these incidents or manage myself better when I realize that I am already in the midst of such an episode? :idea:



Marybird
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 26 Apr 2012
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,818

05 May 2016, 7:56 pm

I don't understand why you think your husband has AS. That doesn't make sense.
Maybe you need couples counseling.



grace4us
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

Joined: 5 May 2016
Age: 75
Gender: Female
Posts: 2
Location: Pennsylvania

05 May 2016, 8:07 pm

Thank you for taking time to reply. Perhaps I am too focused on his unexpected emotional response (despondent). Your insight is appreciated.