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Smile?
I like to cat smile 33%  33%  [ 5 ]
I like to human smile 7%  7%  [ 1 ]
I like both 20%  20%  [ 3 ]
I like neither 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
I don't understand 40%  40%  [ 6 ]
Total votes : 15

Jensen
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Joined: 15 Feb 2013
Age: 70
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,013
Location: Denmark

13 Nov 2019, 7:01 pm

To be literal: cats push up their lower eyelids and broaden their face - just like we do.


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lostonearth35
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Age: 50
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Location: Lost on Earth, waddya think?

13 Nov 2019, 7:41 pm

I've only seen non-cat humans have "cat smiles" in anime. Some real humans have what are called cat smiles, but they just look weird to me. Cat smiles on cats always look good. :cat:



BenderRodriguez
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13 Nov 2019, 9:14 pm

I'll take cats over humans every time, not just with smiles :cat:


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Borromeo
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13 Nov 2019, 11:25 pm

(Scene: A blustery windy day on a moor. The sky is black as lead and the crows huddle in treetops afraid to fly. On the horizon line are JENSEN, LOSTONEARTH35, and BENDERRODRIGUEZ. JENSEN is wearing not a magician's cloak but the garment of a Victorian stage conjurer. Instead of arcane astrological symbols, though, it is covered with computers, Palm Pilots, beepers, modems, early Windows, Dell, and eMachine emblems, the WinAmp logo, and AskJeeves.

JENSEN and LOSTONEARTH take shovels and strike into the ground. BENDER takes up a third but it bends. He bends it straight again but folds it the other way.

LOSTONEARTH35: Is there anything here?

JENSEN: Only that which some would fear.

LOSTONEARTH35. Why, then, would we raise its shade?

JENSEN.: For the thing for which it's made.
Friend, I know you for true brother,
With the Aspie wisdom filled,
This we search for has its telos,
Without which--

LOSTONEARTH35. But you know, we could get killed.

JENSEN. Yes, there's that possibility. (They keep digging.)

BENDER, in the background, under his breath-- "Kiss my shiny metal--"

JENSEN. "Ask again why we are here?"

LOSTONEARTH35. "It has been full dozen year."

JENSEN: "That, you think, is a pert answer,
But as the great thread necromancer,
(Which some say is deadly sin)

BENDER, interrupting-- "Find the truth, see if it bends!" throwing a shovel to the ground. It now looks like uncooked instant ramen.

The earth quakes. The ravens fly from the treetops croaking direly. From the ground comes the eerie tones of a dial-up modem amid the smell of ozone and the flickering light of an old cathode-tube monitor:

BENDER: "It comes!"
LOSTONEARTH35: "It comes!"
JENSEN: "Yes, yes I thought as much." Crash of thunder.

ALL: "Awake, thread long dead! Haunt the forums for which thou wast created!"

CHORUS OF MAIDENS who look like they have not worked out in months and could stand a haircut, wearing baggy mens' trousers and Carhartt chore coats:
"Aspie brethren, sistren too,
Here beneath a fearful sky,
Thread-revivals are performed
Making trolls break down and cry.

JENSEN in pursuit of knowledge
Does far more than trust-fund brats
Who attend their daddy's college:
he describes the smiles of cats.

Since cats smile much like us,
We can bury old disputes,
Joining hands and ending fuss,
Cat or human, smiles compute.

And before we--"

BENDER: "Shh!"
(MAIDENS stop)
LOSTONEARTH35: "Stop, I pray, and wait a while!"
JENSEN reads from scroll: "In the sky shall come the smile!"
BENDER: "Bringing in a time of bliss--"

Appearing in the sky, written in letters of apocalyptic flame, the dread word that is the image of the cat smile
:

UWU

All look up, terrified but curious--the reaction of someone seeing a railroad collision. Some one of the MAIDENS speaks:
"What's this?"
All look at her with terror. The letters blaze like the Eye of Sauron upon the dying clouds.

Exeunt omnes pursued by bears.

BORROMEO sits at old 1920s typewriter at folding table stuck out in the moors. Leaves off typing and speaks, elegaically:

"What, indeed? And none can tell it!
By their screams I think they're dead.
Those who seek the proper meaning
To cat smiles do strain their head.
One's a donkey, a buffoon
If he grin like Sailor Moon.

But they fell science's martyrs,
To their shades I tip my hat
And we know some fellow Aspies
In the past did grin like cats.
Make a difference? Not sure how
One grin's Hi! and one's Meow.

Bring the cypress and the laurel,
Lay black wreaths, and may their souls
Go like heroes to Valhalla---
This is bad! the bears aren't full!

Exit BORROMEO, typewriter in arms, pursued by bears...

(TEN MINUTES LATER!)

Enter BEAR.
"Was it Shakespeare or Irwin S. Cobb who said good liquor will make a cat speak? Ah, and eating a bunch of autistic internet people is exhausting work and it makes a bear want to watch trains and put all his shoes in a line and stay out of supermarkets. If I eat any more I'll start remembering the numbers on motor-buses and collecting Funko Pop figurines. But as they say in my home country, O tempora! o mores, which is to say, that if you don't remember they're temporary you won't get a second helping.

Enter other BEAR.
"Folding tables don't sit well on an empty stomach."

BEAR 1; "You're supposed to peel it. You take the overcoat off first."
BEAR 2: "I know--now I feel like a vacuum sweeper that's eaten the corner of the bath mat."
BEAR 1: "What else?"
BEAR 2: "I think I ate the typewriter too."
BEAR 1 cuffs BEAR 2 soundly:
"Ah, thou fool! this piece of wisdom
Should you keep for future times.
Do not swallow large cast iron!
But as a cub you DID eat dimes.

"Truth and wisdom, Bear, are gemstones,
Here is one of its great facets:
Typewriters are very slow,
But if you eat it you won't pass it."


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Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 134 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 72 of 200
You are very likely neurodiverse (Aspie)