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How can I be romantic?

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RetroGamer87
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15 May 2016, 7:31 am

Sabreclaw wrote:
It seems to me that you don't much care for this person to be your girlfriend - more like you feel you're just getting the scraps that other people didn't want. Is that how you feel?
Not quite. For a while I thought I'd be better of with another girl but there's just something compelling about her. We have so much in common and I feel like we have a sort of synergy. 

I've got this other girl on OKC who seems to like me but I'm just not sure. I'm not sure I want to be with another girl.

At first I thought I'd like being with a younger girl like this OKC girl. Maybe not. I feel like I don't have the same life experience as this 23 year old but Heather the once and future girlfriend is only 10 months different from me in age.

I don't know what to do.


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Outrider
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15 May 2016, 7:39 am

I'll be blunt: Your girlfriend has spoiled princess syndrome OP, and makes extremely unrealtistic expectations of you.

This and past posts have heavily indicated this.

She wants Mr. Right without actually making the effort to improve herself first (e.g. her weight, and I'm sure other issues as well).

And when she doesn't get what she wants, either she ends up becoming extremely upset or otherwise feels terrible when her demands are not met.

You admit she nags you too much.

I definitely never thought she was manipulating you, just that she has trouble emotionally handling herself.

Such is the case of an increasingly Feminist Australian society that disregards equality.

You admit to having unrealistic expectations as well, but at least you've made the effort to improve your life (have a stable job, earned back your stolen stuff, lost weight, heck, you took a chance and pursued skinny Filipino out of your league. That is working to improve your self-confidence).

Hopefully she has a job and is independent herself (own place, can drive, etc.).

If you really think she's the best you'll ever do, and are willing to live up to her demands for Mr. Prince Charming even though you are not, and really do love her, then go ahead.

Otherwise she seems very stuck in her ways and wants a fairytale happy ending to her life - the real world ain't like that pretty saccharine lollipops and rainbow sh*t.



BTDT
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15 May 2016, 9:27 am

RetroGamer87 wrote:
But I should have done stuff like you suggested. I kept on thinking of getting her flowers but I never got around to it. I kept on thinking of taking her to the hill that overlooks the city one night but I never got around to it.

I should do more for her. On our first date she gave me home made cookies. She used to cook all my work lunches. I should appreciate her more.


Thinking doesn't count. The only stuff that counts is stuff you actually do, like her making cookies and cooking lunches. The sex doesn't count either.

She wants assurance you won't dump her for someone else. Best done with lots of little things constantly.

Some of this can be like solving puzzles--did you see "National Treasure?" Close may not be good enough. If she really wants Chick a Fil but you rationalize your way into getting Burger King you lose. This should not be foreign territory--Aspies can be very picky about what they eat.

This is really about BOTH of you compromising for the sake of the relationship.



sly279
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15 May 2016, 12:14 pm

RetroGamer87 wrote:
According to ExGF, yes. Less picky. The once and future girlfriend says fit girls like fit guys but fat girls are tolerant of fat guys.



i havent found that to be true, at least here they are just as picky as fit thin women.
I've never understood it.



sly279
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15 May 2016, 12:22 pm

Alliekit wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
Wp delete delete 


Maybe you're right Sly. I keep on thinking I want to be with a skinny girl but skinny girls are out of my league. Only fat girls like me :( 

But I like her personality. I keep trying to convince myself that a fat girl with a nice personality is nicer than a skinny girl with an unknown personality. 

But when I see skinny girls I want to cry because I know I'm probably doomed to marry a fat girl :cry: 

But I should have done stuff like you suggested. I kept on thinking of getting her flowers but I never got around to it. I kept on thinking of taking her to the hill that overlooks the city one night but I never got around to it.

I should do more for her. On our first date she gave me home made cookies. She used to cook all my work lunches. I should appreciate her more.


Nothing wrong with a fat girl. If you don't want to be with her because of that don't because it is only insulting to her.

Don't be with her if she isn't beautiful to you it's silly and unfair.


Indeed. If found many "fat" women to be beautiful. Just as much as thin women. Beauty is in the face. They may not have super attractive bodies, but oh well. I'd actually prefer someone with a little belly. Thin women may look little sexier but I had my first time with one and it was uncomfortable to cuddle for me and painful for her. No fat to cushion her. Mean I don't care either way if I liked the girl a lot I'd find a way.

I like average or little over weight body type. Others would,call them fat, I see women all the time say their fat and I'm like :o no your not your just right.
Obese women,mlike real obese. I don't usually find attractive is that wrong?
They seem to be in the minority like super thin women.