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Raven
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19 May 2016, 10:53 am

I make eye-contact more now I'm almost 60 than I used to. (As a schoolkid I was forever getting told off for not doing it). I don't find it that pleasant or anything, I've trained myself because people like it. A lot of people will think you shifty or untrustworthy if you don't.
When I look into blue eyes they ofter appear to be more like a pigs eyes than human which isn't pleasant but sometimes blue eyes seem to shine with hostility or hatred. When I look into brown eyes I ofter feel like I'm falling into them, into a dark and bottomless place.
I have noticed though, that it is far easier with people I know well.



thewheel
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19 May 2016, 1:00 pm

I do not, it is simply unnatural, i feel no need for it. For me "threatened" would be the wrong word, but i do sense a reflexive aversion. When i do override that and try to make eye contact i cannot simultaneously process what is being said except for maybe the odd word. Sometimes i find myself repeating it in an effort to work out what was said.

I have mastered the art of faking it in social situations by looking in their general direction and defocusing my eyes, but it is still not natural and i won't necessarily remember to do it when supposedly you should. For instance it was only after I was told i might have aspergers that i looked for these things and noticed the cashier in the shop always tries to look into your eyes when they give you change.

Weirdos


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TheSilentOne
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19 May 2016, 4:10 pm

I try, but it is really hard for me and I am bad at it.


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Kuraudo777
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19 May 2016, 4:11 pm

^If it makes you that uncomfortable, you could always look at the person's chin or nose. Nice signature, by the way! 8)


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A memory is something that has to be consciously recalled, right? That's why sometimes it can be mistaken and a different thing. But it's different from a memory locked deep within your heart. Words aren't the only way to tell someone how you feel.” Tifa Lockheart, Final Fantasy VII


LyraLuthTinu
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19 May 2016, 4:21 pm

TheSilentOne wrote:
I try, but it is really hard for me and I am bad at it.


This.

Because it hurts. There are too many emotions in eye contact, I feel all the other person's emotions and I don't know how to cope with them.

When I do it's either very deliberate and I had a compelling reason to, or it's a complete accident. When it's accidental eye contact it can be like a gut punch and I don't like it. I immediately want to find a place to hide until I am able to feel like it didn't happen.


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Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 141 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 71 of 200
You are very likely neurodiverse (Aspie)
Official diagnosis: Austism Spectrum Disorder Level One, without learning disability, without speech/language delay; Requiring Support


Last edited by LyraLuthTinu on 19 May 2016, 4:34 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Kuraudo777
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19 May 2016, 4:22 pm

^I'm the same. I often want to hide, especially when I'm at school. :(


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A memory is something that has to be consciously recalled, right? That's why sometimes it can be mistaken and a different thing. But it's different from a memory locked deep within your heart. Words aren't the only way to tell someone how you feel.” Tifa Lockheart, Final Fantasy VII


AnaHitori
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19 May 2016, 4:33 pm

Kuraudo777 wrote:
^I'm the same. I often want to hide, especially when I'm at school. :(


That's why you start crying hysterically until your teacher takes you to the nurse or social worker. Works for me!


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Kuraudo777
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19 May 2016, 4:35 pm

I do cry hysterically, but no one ever notices. Then again, I cry extremely quietly, so...


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A memory is something that has to be consciously recalled, right? That's why sometimes it can be mistaken and a different thing. But it's different from a memory locked deep within your heart. Words aren't the only way to tell someone how you feel.” Tifa Lockheart, Final Fantasy VII


Last edited by Kuraudo777 on 19 May 2016, 4:36 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Rundownshoe14
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19 May 2016, 4:36 pm

I can only look someone in the eyes with someone I'm comfortable with,like my mother.Otherwise I look over their shoulder or their mouths.


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LyraLuthTinu
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19 May 2016, 4:36 pm

AnaHitori wrote:
Kuraudo777 wrote:
^I'm the same. I often want to hide, especially when I'm at school. :(


That's why you start crying hysterically until your teacher takes you to the nurse or social worker. Works for me!


Never worked for me, crying at school was always ineffectual.

And now I'm all grown up with full time job, and crying at work because I think my co-workers looked at me funny doesn't go over very well either.


_________________
Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 141 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 71 of 200
You are very likely neurodiverse (Aspie)
Official diagnosis: Austism Spectrum Disorder Level One, without learning disability, without speech/language delay; Requiring Support


b9
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20 May 2016, 7:23 am

if everyone on earth had their eyes removed and then piled up in a mountain of just random eyes, then it would be so huge that you couldn't see it all unless you got further away, and then you would think "f... me dead! look at them all"
that is the sum total of everyone's windows to their soul huh?



ultimafighterbp
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20 May 2016, 7:43 am

For some reason eye contact does not come off as a problem for me. It might have been due to circumstances at home or something. Who knows. I'm just glad this is one of the things not affected by my aspergers.
It always saves me from sort of trouble too. I do have trouble reading body language though. :P