Not sure what to do at this point

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I am turning 28 this August. This will also be the tenth year I've gone through life with clinical depression. I actually used to post on here back in '06 back when the depression truly began for me but I was mocked by others for being 18. Age shouldn't be a factor for how your problems should be evaluated. I had good reasons for feeling depressed at 18. I had missed so many milestones in my developmental years and having to go into adulthood felt like I was being forced to perform on Broadway without having any sort of theatrical experience.

Isn't there a positive correlation between age and percentage of people who are married or in a committed, long-term relationship (some of who see no point in getting married, but have still found their "soulmate")? Because it sure as heck seems like there is. There's also plenty of single mothers out there, and many guys (like me) want to enter into a relationship where there's a choice to procreate (in addition to the freedom of not having kids, never wanting them in the first place, and other reasons).
Sure, there are plenty of relationships/marriages that don't last, but it sure seems like women with strong social value and/or looks get snatched up pretty darn quick.

It feels like a tournament on many levels. If you aren't a bad boy or look like a GQ model, you've already lost unless you can settle with a drugged out redneck woman who looks 80 despite being in her 20's or a ghetto hoochie mama. But even then you'll have to fit some requirements. The redneck woman will still want a "good Christian man" and the hoochie mama will want you to be a "playa".

^And they both want some manly hunk who likes fishing, binge drinking, etc. yet is a 'good christian'.

Especially and sadly very true down here as well.

Every single woman past 30 seems to be lower-middle class single mothers with questionable who associate themselves with questionable crowds and are attracted to questionable men.

Most of my family are such people and it's awful.

Wait on, what counts as "short" for a woman?! I didn't realise height mattered all that much for women - we have heels!!

Exactly, women wear heels, and all the time I see many say 'he (potential dating partner) must be taller than me when I'm in heels'

Especially here!

Of course, it's quite the unrealistic expectation - a woman with 8-inch, aka 20cm heels could go from 167 to 187cm. Geez..

That's well over 6 foot when the average man is under.

I'm pretty sure I'm average height and I wouldn't reach 6ft in 8 inch heels (which no woman bar Delta is wearing), so not something to get too worried about. Yet.

Now now. In southeast/south a majority of guys are like that... But have jobs for qualifier. In an economical dead zone like the south is in most rural areas... girls are pragmatist. She isn't going to college unless family is well off and has no son. She isn't going to get money to leave unless she risks being young girl alone in strange city with no family help near. In a go-nowhere podunk like I am at presently you either escape away (I used military) or marry local. every local guy that see me and recognizes me from my 3 years in school here; come to say hi and" boy I always th*t u wuz purty" (I shudder and "oh look at the time!")


Nice guys can escape notice in areas that are busy with eligible bachelors who are more aggressive in play style. Bad Boys only get the girls in High School. They start losing their appeal when real world responsibilities become an issue.
But as much as nice guys lament they never get a chance, they are just as guilt at FriendZoning a galpal who tho quirky is not someone you would kik from be for eating cracker... but she is not "Special" not enough "prestige"

Not saying have no standards.. but if you are an average 5 (or less)... don't expect to get a 10 without an equalizer

As earlier noted... what do you bring to table? Work on your strengths, don't pretend interests.
If you already go to church then by all means during one of the meet and greet kind of events, ask a girl you can chat up with to maybe go have a cheap meet at a donut shop or local drug store (here they still have fountains and bars) or other neutral public yet comfy place.


I had the taller than me rule too.. because of the guys demeanor. When they are uncomfortable with your height they make you feel like big gooney . And the you can't wear those sexy shoes because 'then I am too short' is a message that we gals decided we won't deal with. PS average "sexy heel" that average girl can walk in is 3 inches.

Women still deep down like feeling protected. And if you can't get that from his projection you can assume it with his size (sometimes wrongly).

My fiance is 130 lbs soaking wet and 5'10. I am 5'8, and in full gym form never less than 160, and the shorty in my family . My family would immediately peg him Flacco or Gallonito (My X was my Catarito-Blondie or Rusky-Russian interchangeably).
On first physical meeting, and I was done. His presentation, always stands straight and walks big despite having sensitivities of growing up the shorty. He can pick me up and carry me like a babydoll when my 6'3 boyfriend used to strain. He uses physics instead of physique as his friend. His first attractive features as just my long time friend in Vent was his dry humor, accent and personal views. He is a "nice guy" and leans much more left than I. Euro influence I am sure. He is also a uber family guy. Both his own kin family and now our "us"
I sure it doesn't hurt he has some of my fetishes check marked ( I like light eyes, high cheeks, full mouths and teeth gap as long as smile is white. I also like a strong nose. Not lumpy but more than a little child's snub).
He is by far the thinnest and shortest person I ever have been seen with. When we are together and walking he actually is straighter still and has a good stride. I like that attitude of "Yea dude..she is taller. And mine"


**edit: mostly for a few incomplete words I spotted in the final post

Time to enroll in college and participate in as many out-of-class activities and assignments as possible. Believe it or not, age gap is not such a big deal for college girls.

Yeah but who says you have to date girls that are exactly the same age as you? A couple years back I dated a 19 year old. She was single. Come to think of it there are plenty of 28 year old girls who are single, seperated, etc and no, not all of them have kids.

It's mind boggling, isn't it? So-called 'good christian' men are the most stupid and aggressive maniacs I've ever encountered. They are loud, angry, always getting into trouble with the law, and create unnecessary stress for themselves.

It's also baffling how so many areas who toute 'moral values' are rather high in rates of domestic violence, gun crime, thievery, rape, teen pregnancy, pornography, pollution of all sorts, roadkill, racism, sexism, and homophobia.



I do have a female friend, though she is a year older than me, who falls into that category.

"Now now."

Are you addressing me personally? I'll assume you are in my response.

"In southeast/south a majority of guys are like that... But have jobs for qualifier."

Yes, the U.S. South. This is what I generally hear of it.

And what do you mean? Women seem to be attracted to these types even if they're unemployed and even in cities.

I guess the types of women those men end up with aren't particularly decent women either, but I've always thought two rude, selfish unattractive people ending up together is still more relationship success than two attractive, friendly, caring lonely virgins.

"In an economical dead zone like the south is in most rural areas... girls are pragmatist."

Yeah, small towns are terrible and offer a dim, hopeless perspective of the world.

"Nice guys can escape notice in areas that are busy with eligible bachelors who are more aggressive in play style. Bad Boys only get the girls in High School. They start losing their appeal when real world responsibilities become an issue.
But as much as nice guys lament they never get a chance, they are just as guilt at FriendZoning a galpal who tho quirky is not someone you would kik from be for eating cracker... but she is not "Special" not enough "prestige""

Just don't associate me with 'nice guys' as I am not a nice guy and have never identified as one. Morally I fall very in the middle of the scale.

I have never friendzoned a female. Ever.

Quite the contrary, I can't be friends with females at all as I always eventually develop feelings for each and every one of them or have on-again, off-again feelings. It's a real issue I wish I could overcome.

It is in my experiences that a male friend is far more likely to develop feelings for his female friend than a woman is likely to develop feelings for her male friend.

The woman you describe sounds great to me but it's likely I'd fall for her before she falls for me and it would just be suffering unrequited love in silence for several years until she 'comes around'.

Not worth it and besides my feelings may ruin the friendship before she develops feelings back anyway.

"Not saying have no standards.. but if you are an average 5 (or less)... don't expect to get a 10 without an equalizer"

No need to worry, the highest my standards go is an opposite sex equivalent to myself, and from extensive thought and research have determined, by 'societies' standards my social status and physical attractiveness level is around a 6-7.

However, many women seem to be hypergamous so I aim lower than that on purpose.

"If you already go to church..."

I'm not even irreligious/non-spiritual, but my beliefs are uncommon and not an organized religion.

I am an Indigenous Australian and share most of the spiritual beliefs related to it, but it's organization is moreso stories from the elders and such and not much more than that.

I do not relate to or get along with any sort of religious people whatsoever. I often can't stand religious people, especially extremist.

I think the major difference is I don't believe in any specific gods or deities.

"I had the taller than me rule too.. because of the guys demeanor. When they are uncomfortable with your height they make you feel like big gooney . And the you can't wear those sexy shoes because 'then I am too short' is a message that we gals decided we won't deal with. PS average "sexy heel" that average girl can walk in is 3 inches."

Fair enough.

I'm not short myself but average 5'9'' for men. Just figuratively standing up for the little guy - pun intended.

"Women still deep down like feeling protected. And if you can't get that from his projection you can assume it with his size (sometimes wrongly)."

More like often wrongly. Height isn't really a major indication of anything, just a false illusion of more size, like being 6 foot 5 and 110lbs.

Overall it is mass not height that matters I'd think.

"My fiance is 130 lbs soaking wet and 5'10. I am 5'8, and in full gym form never less than 160, and the shorty in my family . My family would immediately peg him Flacco or Gallonito (My X was my Catarito-Blondie or Rusky-Russian interchangeably).
On first physical meeting, and I was done."

Good for you, but you seem to believe I may feel insecure in that I don't live up to traditional standards of masculinity and male attractiveness.

Quite the opposite.

I'm more frustrated because despite the fact I work hard on my health, appearance, personality, etc. these a55høles from the ghetto and countrytowns still get far more success than I ever have.

I eat healthy, exercise, work hard on my hobbies and interests, am very fashionable and hygienic.

I'm not the nerdy 'nice guy' skinny guy or anything losing to the hypermasculine 'bro' a55hºle males. If anything I consider myself on their level and their competition.

I'm more like the decently confident, fit, intelligent, attractive guy and still failing.

Most of my interests aren't actually nerdy or geeky at all.

Electronic music production, sports, (very casual) gaming, hanging out with friends, reading philosophical books and fantasy series, etc.

My personality is very versatile and you'd think this would be good but it hasn't shown much results.

I get along with all kinds of males as I can simply conform my most similar parts of my personality and hide the most conflicting parts.

I blend in with the drinking, partying, sporty 'bro' males just as much as your seclusive, virgin 'nice guy' gamer/board game geek, and just as much as your laidback, friendly stoner dudes.

The latter two tend to be less hard work to be friends with than the former as the former can be too extraverted and socially exhausting for my tastes. Doesn't mean I don't find the former really fun.

"It's also baffling how so many areas who toute 'moral values' are rather high in rates of domestic violence, gun crime, thievery, rape, teen pregnancy, pornography, pollution of all sorts, roadkill, racism, sexism, and homophobia."

The place I used to live (recently moved, thank g- no, thank my family and I, as we chose to move here.) came across as a nice little family city with wholesome family values.

While a lot of the events were Sunday 'family fun days' (boring events for children no older than 5 with lackluster, completely not out of the ordinary entertainment each year and sub-standard food and refreshments) the crime rate was and still is one of the highest in the country, most certainly in the top 10 for the state (and keep in mind Australian states are far bigger and this state would have been the size of at least Western U.S.A https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Western_United_States). Lots of all you mentioned along with everything else you can think of as a crime.

Police were corrupt as well.

What kind of women are you talking to who are wearing 8 inch heels that would be impossible to walk in. There very very few women who would wear heels that high

I'm 5.7 and admittedly prefer someone a bit taller then me. This is more for cuddling and snuffling reasons though not looks.

These are 8 inch heels

Also Outrider the qualities you have are sadly missed by the girls at your current age. Once you reach your 20s girls start to look for those better qualities instead of bad boys. I think your main problem is that you are too mature for your age group