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MindBlind
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20 May 2016, 6:27 pm

I have a few friends who have BPD (one of which I lived with for a year) and one thing I have noticed is that many people with it are profoundly talented. I know not everyone with BPD is the same and it is unfair to push positive stereotypes as much as it is to push the negative ones, but I haven't met a single BPDer that wasn't extremely skilled in some way.

For instance, my roommate used to write thousands of words a week for her coursework, crochet, bake, write fiction, play an instrument (or three) and still has time to marathon Grey's Anatomy and hang out with friends. She also worked for the museum services at my uni and did most of the volunteer work (oh did I mention she was holding down a job and volunteering for the homeless at the time?).

I know so many prolific, hardworking people who have this condition and it boggles my brain how these people are so productive and capable even though they are always in the throes of sudden moodswings and an unstable sense of identity. I don't get mood changes nearly that frequently nor do I fear abandonment, but I could never hope to be like the friends I have. I find them incredibly tenacious and brave (I know, it's an overused sentiment) to push on despite how they feel.

Does anybody else know anyone with BPD who is like this? And to those with BPD (particularly more high functioning ones), how do you manage your day to day life despite your condition?



transsupernatural
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23 May 2016, 10:24 am

I know a few people with BPD and I can say I've never really thought them to be talented. Not to say they are dumb by any means, but just that I never had that feeling I suppose. My (now ex) friend has it, and I doubt she would be considered higher functioning because she is pretty volatile with her words, and she seemed pretty "empty" in every sense of the word. I suspect my mom has it as well, and she too feels empty. No interests, no hobbies, no lasting career goals, etc. All typical of BPD.

I'm diagnosed with BPD, but I don't think it's right, since I am undiagnosed ASD and the two have a lot of overlap. Autistic people can have the mood swings and somewhat unstable identity since we tend to mimic others to improve social skills. I don't know that I would consider myself talented either, but others have said so about my guitar skills. *shrugs*



MindBlind
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28 May 2016, 11:16 am

transsupernatural wrote:
I know a few people with BPD and I can say I've never really thought them to be talented. Not to say they are dumb by any means, but just that I never had that feeling I suppose. My (now ex) friend has it, and I doubt she would be considered higher functioning because she is pretty volatile with her words, and she seemed pretty "empty" in every sense of the word. I suspect my mom has it as well, and she too feels empty. No interests, no hobbies, no lasting career goals, etc. All typical of BPD.

I'm diagnosed with BPD, but I don't think it's right, since I am undiagnosed ASD and the two have a lot of overlap. Autistic people can have the mood swings and somewhat unstable identity since we tend to mimic others to improve social skills. I don't know that I would consider myself talented either, but others have said so about my guitar skills. *shrugs*


I have heard that BPD can come with a sense of deriving personal identity from others so I suppose it makes sense how someone who struggles with this might not have any personal ambitions and only seek validation from co-dependent relationships. I used to know a girl who was very histrionic (I don't know if she had a personality disorder but if she did it would defo be cluster b) and she seemed to revolve her life around infantilising herself and tying to use sex appeal and shock to get people to pay attention to her. She had very unstable relationships and sometimes even had childlike tantrums to get what she wanted. I didn't like her very much and I felt that she lacked ambition.

However there are many people with BPD that I know who simply aren't able to see how capable and talented they are. My roommate never gave herself enough credit for all the hard work she did so I wonder how much of your alleged lack of talent is just a matter of perspective? I mean, you don't have to be borderline to have low self confidence. I can't play guitar and I hardly have the patience to learn how to barre a chord on the ukulele. Even if you're not an expert, that's a cool skill to have.

As for aspergers and BPD intersecting, I personally don't know a lot of aspies that struggle with an unstable sense of self. That doesn't mean it isn't common in aspergers (maybe it is and I just never saw it), but I certainly have a pretty solid sense of who I am and what my goals and aspirations are. Actually my roommate was surprised at how young I was when I decided my career path because she had no idea what she wanted to do at uni. She seemed to really persevere with the course she chose, though, and I commend her for being so adaptable and tenacious. I have a whole lifetime to show for my drawing skills and it's somewhat underwhelming compared to my peers who seem to draw as often as breathing oxygen. But I'm not complaining.

I'm always in awe of those who have the strength of character to overcome their setbacks in life. The fact that you have mentioned that lacking in ambition is a common characteristic of BPD makes me even more impressed by my friend.I just wish she knew that.



LittleLu
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28 May 2016, 11:30 am

My wife has BPD, and she is definitely incredibly talented. She's an amazing cook and loves it above much else, and is also extremely fast at reading. She can finish an entire 600 page novel in just under 8 hours, even with breaks. (I've timed her. She sat and read a full book for the entire length of her work shift with me sitting across the aisle from her. XD) Wish I could do that... The most I can read is 35 pages in a day.


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