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AspieGuy4210
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30 Jun 2016, 9:34 am

Sorry I haven't been on lately, got busy with life, but I'm back now. In response to your post, I'll say that well I don't know if others initiated or not, some did and some didn't. Anyways, I see what you mean, but I don't think this is the case here, since she hugs others that initiate the hug too. So in conclusion, she's just a mean, discriminate little b***h.



SilverProteus
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01 Jul 2016, 4:16 pm

I'm going to be devil's advocate here, but she isn't obligated to hug you, you know, just because she hugs everyone else. I don't know why she doesn't hug you, it could be for a variety of reasons. Maybe she doesn't feel you're approachable?

Hugging is an invasion of personal space and it's up to the person if they want to be hugged or not.


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AspieGuy4210
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02 Jul 2016, 1:21 am

Yes, she does not have an obligation or requirement to hug me, (the right to refuse) and I too have the right to have a (negative) opinion of her actions. As far as approachability, well that's hard to say, I mean she is very nice in person (could be just faking it while hating/resenting deep inside), but I don't know what she is like when I'm not around.

Let say that there was a person that hugged everyone in your group, excluding you and you have done nothing wrong (at least to your knowledge), wouldn't you feel that it is peculiar? Or at least alienated?



SilverProteus
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02 Jul 2016, 5:59 am

AspieGuy4210 wrote:
Yes, she does not have an obligation or requirement to hug me, (the right to refuse) and I too have the right to have a (negative) opinion of her actions. As far as approachability, well that's hard to say, I mean she is very nice in person (could be just faking it while hating/resenting deep inside), but I don't know what she is like when I'm not around.


If someone generally acts erratically or "weird" then people generally won't find them approachable and wouldn't want them to invade their personal space.

Quote:
Let say that there was a person that hugged everyone in your group, excluding you and you have done nothing wrong (at least to your knowledge), wouldn't you feel that it is peculiar? Or at least alienated?


I don't think I would care much as I hate being hugged. ;)


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TXorchid
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02 Jul 2016, 6:32 pm

It sounds like your love language might be Physical Touch. (Google The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman.) Not in reference to romantic love. I did note she's not of interest to you like that. Everyone has a love language, even children. It's the kind of actions someone takes towards you that makes you feel the most appreciated, valued as a human being, seen, heard, understood. Physical touch has a lot of emotional significance to you, yes? And if so, if a person observes their love language given as gifts to everyone else but to them, it's painful! It feels a little dehumanizing, degrading. If this rings true with you, I'm not excusing her awful behavior but I am saying that maybe she has no idea that not being acknowledging you also with a hug is that hurtful to you. She herself may have a totally different love language so she may not realize the full impact of her actions. I don't suggest that you get vulnerable with a callous person and reveal this possibility about you. But maybe it may help you to be more aware of you and what you need in your life. You can't control what she chooses to do. Maybe it can inspire you to reach out and hug more people because others may wish for that affirmation too and maybe they think no one else would care. I know this: when you are allowed to give a hug, it's just as great a feeling as receiving a hug.



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03 Jul 2016, 5:16 pm

How many are you in class?

If you're like 30-35 (that's normal class) than singling out one guy out of 30 that's indeed rude. If you learn in special ed or something I assume you are much less pupils soo it begs the question whether the two of you were close at all.

From your earlier posts I can somewhat relate to the girl actually, without being judgemental. you getting mad and swearing over a girl not hugging you for no specific reason (I kinda skimmed the thread but why did she initiate the hugging? that's also important to know to asses the social situation.



AspieGuy4210
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05 Jul 2016, 4:16 pm

@TXorchid
Yes, I suppose that might be my love language then. Also to me, it is something that cannot be replicated (the same way) outside of being physically present, face to face.

@Chummy
It's a pretty small class, about 12 people or so. I forgot to mention earlier in my posts (and can't edit them since the time limitations has passed) that I'm not really in that class, but I sit in time to time.