"STOP, wait wait wait, don't overwhelm me"

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This is something that particularly annoys me, and that nobody seems to understand.

I seriously don't do it on porpoise, don't make an unnecessary drama and try to hide it. But, even when I believe I got to calm myself down quickly and didn't bother anyone, apparently I did. It hurts me that not even my family understand this, after my whole life, and they keep on blaming me for that. No matter how much I tried to control myself.

Today it happened something very stupid. I got great news, I got a job interview. It's in other city, then I will have to travel. When I knew, I texted a friend that lives there and I called my mum, and at the same time my brother came home. Therefore I had 3 conversations open. When I hang my mum I was telling my brother the news, and at the same time my friend was texting. All of this when I was so nervous about the possible new job. My friend said that some friend of her could host me the days I would be in town for the interview. And I said thanks but not yet, I have to organise myself and see how and when I'm going to travel... she ignored me and I had instantly a whatsapp group with the other girl and many texts, questions about if I get the job, how would I do to live there, and it was so terribly overwhelming. I need more time to think about those things. All of this while talking to my brother.

I need things to come to me on my pace. I can't process stuff about when I move there, cause there are a lot of things before that. Actually, very often I have to stop and take pencil and paper and note down everything, as steps to follow. Sometimes, when I finish clarifying those steps and I calm down, I realise how simple was it....

It's difficult to explain, now it doesn't seem anything that could drive me so mad. But it did. And I feel that it spoiled my happiness moment, besides I probably made feel someone bad.

Anyway. Just wishing that somebody understands me, at least here.

Hugs for your struggles. I also wish you luck on the interview, what kind of job is it?
I think its important to note the positives in the situation, you have a great friend who was so helpful and caring they found you a place to stay.
I can relate a bit; when I have a lot of social contact and interactions I will withdrawal, isolate and feel depressed. It sucks because if I want to make and be with family or friends I can't.

It's a research position and it's related to autism. For privacy reasons, I won't say more, sorry.

Of course it was all very positive. That's also why I feel bad, cause there was no reason for that, and I should be enjoying the satisfaction of being a step closer to that great job.


Hugs back, thanks .