How many people on WP are married.
I got married at the age of 28. We sometimes have a rough time because of his medical problems and my mental health/meltdown problems and poverty issues....
But somehow we compliment each other well, and get along most of the time. I am brains, he is brawn. He encourages me so much! He really believes in me!
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Crazy Bird Lady!! !
Also likes Pokemon
Avatar: A Shiny from the new Pokemon Pearl remake, Shiny Chatot... I named him TaterTot...
FINALLY diagnosed with ASD 2/6/2020
BirdInFlight
Veteran
Joined: 8 Jun 2013
Age: 62
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,501
Location: If not here, then where?
I have a failed marriage. I was someone who wanted to "find the One" and who enjoys love and romance and intimacy -- but with the right person. I feel a bit differently now as I've lost interest in those things after a bad experience. But basically for most of my life I was a person who, even though I do need my alone time, I also liked being in a relationship with the right person. Emphasis on the right person. My ex husband seemed like that "right person" at first but there are many reasons why two people start to fight and we had everything stacked against us, not least my inability to cope with some of those pressures, and his eventual inability to be patient with that. It also didn't help that while my energies could extend to embracing his presence with all my heart, I couldn't extend my energies to having to deal with his family. That is something Aspies can have problems with -- that maybe you can open yourself to your sweetheart in terms of time spent socially, but there's nothing left over to socially deal with a lot of time given to in-laws.
I could deal with my man in my life but I couldn't deal with the social demands of the extended family.
Good things about being married:
You've found your best friend (I believe you should be friends as well as lovers/sexually attracted).
There is companionship always at hand - although respect must be given to alone time.
Shared bills make life easier! Although this is NOT a reason by itself to get married.
Life's problems are easier to bear if you have a committed partner to be there for you and deal with it together rather than alone.
My attempt ended in failure but in general I was still a person open to the actual primary relationship itself though.
I also believe, however, that there are people who genuinely don't enjoy that idea and don't want it or need it, and I totally get that.
I think it should be accepted more widely that some people don't want to feel pressure to share their life with another person, or have to have a sexual life.
I believe that if you don't want those things, nobody should make you feel bad about that.
Relationships can be very difficult even for people like me who actively wanted one and was willing to share my life. So I can't blame anyone for not even wanting to enter into all that. It's hard even when you're the type that wants it..
I'm not, and I just turned 21. I'm not worried myself, nor anyone nags me for any of those matters.
Yet half of my acquaintances of my age are either single mothers, married, or have a complete family of their own. Many think my indifference is a good idea, but some don't.
If only they knew that 'obligation' or 'necessity' isn't my type of motivation.
I never imagine myself sharing all my things to someone. I imagine sharing many things to many, but not all and not to one...
But if, only IF, I ever find that 'someone', I'll just let it go with no regrets. That's what I'll do.
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Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.
I'm married. It wasn't always on my list of things to do. I never dreamed of being married, I had plans to be single and have an apartment of my own.
Then, I fell in love. My now husband said that marriage was important to him and at the time I said "Well, if it's important to you then I'm happy to". I still didn't see the point, though - to me, it was just a piece of paper.
As time went on, that all changed. I realised I wanted marriage as that formal commitment to sharing our lives together. I also knew that if I were to have a baby, I wanted it to be in a committed marriage as I felt that was a more secure situation for a child to be raised in. I still feel like that, now. It's important to me that we both have the same surname and that it's been passed on to my daughter, for instance.
It's about having a best friend that I share my world with. And yes, I know I could do that without the piece of paper and the big ceremony (which really wasn't my thing), but it just felt 'right' to marry.
OH MY LORD! Ok, people make fun of me for watching reality tv, but I learn A LOT!
Now I'm watching this reality show called "Arranged". Three arranged marriages. The problems they are having are MONEY, RELIGION, and JOBS.
1) Couple one the girl converted to Judaism and she had to cover her hair - forever, and they are having some other problems with the Jewish religion. Have to combine bank accounts and she wants to spend while he budgets. They have college to pay for and she wants to drink lattes (she has 10 a day!) and buy $70 candles and decorate their new apartment with everything at once instead of slowly. Now they are having an argument about her spending.
2) Couple two are young, they live in a trailer, he has a job as a school coach and she decided to sign up for a job as a flight attendant (without his knowledge) and will be leaving to go to another state in a couple weeks for a month of training. He wants her to get a job where they are and is hoping she will stay. They need money now. They are also having disagreements because they are different religions.
3) Couple three are in their 30's and they have money, but he is a workaholic wanting to end up with several big homes and luxury cars while she mainly wants to get pregnant and start a family. He comes home wanting to eat and relax on the couch after a long day, but still keeps working at home. She wants some attention from him which she is not getting so she makes an appointment at his office and he isn't happy about that.
All 3 have problems where money is concerned so that is definitely something that needs to be discussed before marriage. Religion is a problem with two couples with the third couple being the same religion. I don't know what I would do in these circumstances.
_________________
Me grumpy?
I'm happiness challenged.
Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 83 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 153 of 200 You are very likely neurotypical
Darn, I flunked.
OMG. The workaholic guy can't even enjoy dinner out with her without doing business on his phone and checking his watch constantly. Somehow she should have known that about him before they got married.
The Jewish couple who have problems with money have a car that is totally broken down and they have no money for a new one. Lord have mercy. My Hunny would definitely have to have a decent car - like myself. They had to have the car towed. Oh Jeez Louise! Now she wants to start having kids! With what money?! If I was him, I'd say that I had a headache every night until they have plenty of money.
The other couple, he's severely depressed about her leaving. Argument about her leaving without them discussing it. What a drama.
I thought living with Waldo was bad.
_________________
Me grumpy?
I'm happiness challenged.
Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 83 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 153 of 200 You are very likely neurotypical
Darn, I flunked.
I think it could last if you have a lot in common, don't have any kids and give each other some space at times. Be best friends, have date nights, both have a sense of humor, be really supportive of each other. I've seen it work in older couples who had no kids and who were best friends. That's what I want.
_________________
Me grumpy?
I'm happiness challenged.
Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 83 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 153 of 200 You are very likely neurotypical
Darn, I flunked.
What imbecile(s) arranged those marriages? Judging by the results so far, they didn't pay much attention to compatibility.
Well, I watched the first season too and I think one survived, but they had a lot of problems and they were a pair of gypsys. In the Gypsy culture it's taboo to get divorced - they even had a group of men that talked to the couple like counseling.
I've also watched "Married at First Sight" all 3 seasons and those couples are matched by 4 specialists and very few made it. That's probably why there are so many divorces and affairs. Marriage is hard.
_________________
Me grumpy?
I'm happiness challenged.
Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 83 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 153 of 200 You are very likely neurotypical
Darn, I flunked.
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