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Are you married?
no im too young 12%  12%  [ 15 ]
Yes got married before 30 24%  24%  [ 29 ]
Yes got married after 30 13%  13%  [ 16 ]
Had multiple marriages 7%  7%  [ 8 ]
Have a failed marriage 9%  9%  [ 11 ]
No the idea of marriage is unappealing 18%  18%  [ 22 ]
No never was able to find the right person 18%  18%  [ 22 ]
Total votes : 123

Jakki
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27 Jan 2023, 10:16 am

Was married , was murdered many years back now ... Brother and his GF skated on the charges ...Prosecuetor
left out facts . Sheriffs dept had been already made prejudiced against us , by very psychopathic neighbour and his wife who worked with the Sheriffs dept . We did not associate with these neighbours , Avoided contact ,He did not like fence we put up to slow the looting of our home. Previous prosecuetor suggested that a trio of these two and
their older stepson . :(


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y-pod
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27 Jan 2023, 1:23 pm

23 years now. :) Things were not perfect but I never expected too much anyway. I don't know why but I seem to be a magnet for kind gentle souls. Never been without some nice people in my life. They seem to be everywhere. Can't complain I guess. Just saying that some people always attract a certain type. If I wanted someone bold and exciting I'll never get one. I only get the nice and peaceful people. Sometimes it's not about what you want or what you deserve, but what you need in a partner or friend that's more important.


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kraftiekortie
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27 Jan 2023, 4:05 pm

I’m a pretty boring guy, too.

I’ve been married 27 years.



r00tb33r
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27 Jan 2023, 5:08 pm

DuckHairback wrote:
You're probably right. I mean, what's my 20 years of experience against your razor-sharp insight?

Guess i'd better buy a ring. :cry:

If 20 years later you have no children, then you probably don't need to do anything. This is as far as it will go.


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DuckHairback
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27 Jan 2023, 5:56 pm

r00tb33r wrote:
DuckHairback wrote:
You're probably right. I mean, what's my 20 years of experience against your razor-sharp insight?

Guess i'd better buy a ring. :cry:

If 20 years later you have no children, then you probably don't need to do anything. This is as far as it will go.


We do have a child. It's not a problem at all.


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r00tb33r
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27 Jan 2023, 5:58 pm

Wealth generally takes care of that problem indeed.


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IsabellaLinton
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27 Jan 2023, 6:05 pm

r00tb33r wrote:
^ That's what I used to think while I was young and stupid. But I got smart. :wink:

Besides, it's problematic to have kids when the parents are unmarried. The woman won't be able to use the man's insurance while she's out of work with the child. And lots of other stuff, that's just the beginning.

Life is hard as it is without creating additional problems you don't have to have.

But, hey, it sounds like you're still young. Take that as a compliment. :wink:


First of all I want to say maybe the father stays home on Pat Leave, but is it true that people have to be married to share insurance? When I lived with someone I just phoned my insurance and added his name with no questions asked. We weren’t married. I think we needed to be together for six months. If the parents are separated or divorced they can still use each other’s insurance for parenting too. The idea is that the child doesn’t lose out or get punished just because the parents aren’t married. Is it different there?



r00tb33r
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27 Jan 2023, 6:10 pm

Only spouse or child can use insurance here.


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kraftiekortie
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28 Jan 2023, 1:59 am

In NY state it’s common law partner of whatever gender/sex.



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01 Feb 2023, 12:53 pm

I'll be straightforward and brutally honest here, I've never been married nor in a long term relationships as both had seemingly eluded me both due to various decisions both on my part and other individuals as well; as unmanageable scenarios. So these days I try to maintain whatever friendships I have with people as all of them are online yet, it's a very small number indeed for, many people choose to walk away from me, probably due to my communication frequency inconsistencies. I wish I could say more, but I feel I'd just being boring and off putting others.



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01 Feb 2023, 1:08 pm

I've been married twice. First time, I was seventeen and got married because of a pregnancy... the ex and I decided to try to be responsible for our actions and do right by our child. That marriage lasted six years and it got abusive towards the end. It was time to go. Second marriage lasted over 15 years and ended when they got back into drug use.

I've also had some long term partners. I am poly, and I had one girlfriend for about ten years during my second marriage... though there were plenty of times during that span when she and I were only friends. When I get to questioning if I have it in me to love a romantic partner, I think back on her. I loved that woman. Probably still do. Her drug use was why I had to walk away. She got hooked on pain pills and it spiraled out of control in ways I couldn't handle.



Jakki
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01 Feb 2023, 2:42 pm

FleaOfTheChill wrote:
I've been married twice. First time, I was seventeen and got married because of a pregnancy... the ex and I decided to try to be responsible for our actions and do right by our child. That marriage lasted six years and it got abusive towards the end. It was time to go. Second marriage lasted over 15 years and ended when they got back into drug use.

I've also had some long term partners. I am poly, and I had one girlfriend for about ten years during my second marriage... though there were plenty of times during that span when she and I were only friends. When I get to questioning if I have it in me to love a romantic partner, I think back on her. I loved that woman. Probably still do. Her drug use was why I had to walk away. She got hooked on pain pills and it spiraled out of control in ways I couldn't handle.


Have known a younger married couple . with 2 very pretty young girls , by the time both the children were 4 and 5 years old .Both parents , those peoples problems with pain killers got so bad they , as a couple tried to rob a local
pharmacy . Both have been in Federal prison since then over 4 years now,to date . but that pair of parents were products of a very corrupt minded Grandmother, living a few doors down from me. Whose home did after all create several generations of criminals .With her direct support. Drugs will destroy relationships .


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FleaOfTheChill
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01 Feb 2023, 4:40 pm

Jakki wrote:

Have known a younger married couple . with 2 very pretty young girls , by the time both the children were 4 and 5 years old .Both parents , those peoples problems with pain killers got so bad they , as a couple tried to rob a local
pharmacy . Both have been in Federal prison since then over 4 years now,to date . but that pair of parents were products of a very corrupt minded Grandmother, living a few doors down from me. Whose home did after all create several generations of criminals .With her direct support. Drugs will destroy relationships .


Unfortunately, dysfunction often breeds dysfunction. Agreed, drugs more often than not destroy relationships. I come from a family of drug dealers and addicts. The whole thing was normalized for me very young. I have no idea how I managed to not be dead or strung out right now. I can't say the same about the bulk of the people I've known over the years. It's a shame. So many lives wasted and so many people hurt in the mess of it all. Most people just fall victim to it and repeat what they know. I hope those two girls can break that cycle and not end up like the rest of their relatives.



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02 Feb 2023, 10:45 am

I was 30 when I got married. I treated this as "after 30". I studied many books on dating and body language before meeting my now wife, and while we were dating.


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IsabellaLinton
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02 Feb 2023, 11:26 am

Fenn wrote:
I was 30 when I got married. I treated this as "after 30". I studied many books on dating and body language before meeting my now wife, and while we were dating.


Did the body language become intuitive, or did / do you feel like you're acting sometimes?

What types of body language behaviour did you adopt?



Jakki
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02 Feb 2023, 12:48 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:
Fenn wrote:
I was 30 when I got married. I treated this as "after 30". I studied many books on dating and body language before meeting my now wife, and while we were dating.


Did the body language become intuitive, or did / do you feel like you're acting sometimes?

What types of body language behaviour did you adopt?


This sounds kinda interesting in the above posts :D :mrgreen: :D


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